Robert: Is something burning? (to Percy) Oh! Hey, Percy. Do you need a hand there?
Percy (to Robert): You may want to stand back, honey. I'm making toast. I mistakenly told Wanda I would fix her an omelet & toast... I have no idea what I'm doing.
Robert (to Percy): So I see. You know, you could just use the toaster for the toast. It's in the cabinet about the sink.
Percy (to Robert): Oh? you don't use a pan to make toast? So much to learn.
Robert (to Percy): Technically, yes you can. But trust me on this one; the toaster is the way to go. Use the cast iron skillet for the omelet.
Percy (to Robert): Oh alright... One question... How do you make an omelet?
Robert (to Percy): Heh. Do you know how to make scrambled eggs?
Percy (to Robert): Yes? I think Vincent showed me how to make them once.
Robert (to Percy): Good. Then you know the basics. It's basically the same thing, only instead of scrambling the eggs in the pan... you're going to let them cook in the pan and fold the eggs in half. You look terrified.
Percy (to Robert): I think I'm way out of my depth, honey... I think I'm just going to go get donuts.
Robert (to Percy): Don't be a chicken! Grab the eggs, milk and shredded cheese out of the fridge and come here. You're making a damn omelet.
Percy (to Robert): Fine... bossy man.
Robert (to Percy): Don't act like a petulant little boy, and I won't treat you like one. Grab a bowl and fill it with hot water. If you warm up the eggs first, they'll cook better.
Percy (to Robert): Alright...
Robert (to Percy): You're doing fine. Just loosen it around the edges with the spatula there. Perfect! Now, give it a shake... and FOLD! Ta da! You made an omelet au frommage. Congrats.
Percy (to Robert): That was the most terrifying things I have ever done... and, I've been shot before.
Robert (to Percy): You've been shot? God damn. Somehow, I seriously doubt that cooking eggs is the most terrifying thing you've ever done.
Percy (to Robert): Well, I don't have to eat, so it's not something that I have in my database... And yes, I was shot. That's how I ended up in this body.
Robert (to Percy): So... that's not your original body? Heh. This is one of those conversations that goes right the hell over my head.
Percy (to Robert): Heh... Sorry. I thought the Professor had told you about me, honey.
Robert (to Percy): He just mentioned you were an automaton. He's been very quiet private about what you guys do over in Britannia.
Percy (to Robert): Oh well, that's probably because he doesn't really know a lot of what goes on over there. Jacob mostly writes & hangs out in the royal court. I work as an assistant to a trio of ridiculous sisters & sometimes as an errand boy for an inventor.
Robert (to Percy): A personal assistant? Isn't that what your sister... OH! Original body... Right. Poppy isn't really your sister is she?
Percy (to Robert): Not in the usual sense, no. But, Poppy does, I mean, did have a brother named Percy. It's a bit of a long story.
Robert (to Percy): Huh. I can only imagine. Well, I won't keep you from Wanda. But be warned, I might bombard you with questions later.
Percy (to Robert): Fair enough.
Several hours later:
Percy (to Mouse): Hey Miss Mouse, coming back from your workout?
Mouse (to Percy): Oh hey, Percy. Yeah, I was sparring with Jacob, he'll be up in a little bit. He needed a minute to lay on the floor alone.
Percy (to Mouse): Heehee, so you're still beating him up? I would have thought he'd learn his lesson by now.
Mouse (to Percy): Yeah, you'd think he would.
Percy (to Mouse): So, odd question, honey. Did you & Mister Gloomy get everything sorted last night?
Mouse (to Percy): Huh? ... Oh, you mean about me kicking him out of the kitchen? Of course, we did. I can't stay mad at him for too long... And, he usually punishes himself way worse than anything I would ever do. His guilt seems to know no limits.
Percy (to Mouse): Heh... I think there's a small part of him that's a little worried that you're going to come to your senses, honey.
Mouse (to Percy): Not a chance... I'm totally delusional in his favor.
Ripper (to Mouse): Alright, I think I'm okay now. Can you show me that move again? I want to figure out how you did it. (to Percy) Hey Percy.
Percy (to Ripper & Mouse): Hey Professor, you are a glutton for punishment... I'll leave you two to it. I need to go pick up Wanda from work. See ya!
Mouse (to Ripper): Fine... but, this is like the tenth time, are you sure? (to Percy) Bye Percy!
Ripper (to Percy): See ya later! (to Mouse) Positive.
Mouse (to Ripper): Okay, one more time & then I really need to get cleaned up and make some food. (to Otto) Can you let Eep know I'm in the basement sparring with Jacob when he gets home from work?
Otto (to Mouse): Mrow.
Mouse (to Otto): Thanks, old man.
An hour or so later:
Eep (to Otto): Hey, old man. Where's Mouse?
Otto (to Eep): MOW! Mrrrrrrow.
Eep (to Ripper): You're a masochist, aren't you? Are we gonna have to start charging every time Mouse beats you up?
Ripper (to Eep): Heh. It's nothing weird, I promise. I just asked her to show me a few grappling techniques... I'll figure them out eventually
Eep (to Ripper): Heh. I didn't think it was. (to Ripper & Mouse) You guys want anything to eat?
Ripper (to Eep): Nah, thanks though. It's time I headed home.
Mouse (to Ripper): I'll see you later. (to Eep) I was totally going to make something, but.... Oh god, I need a shower. I stink.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Yeah you do. S'alright. I don't mind cooking. How'd the workout go?
Mouse (to Eep): Better than the last time. I think he's getting a handle on it. He just needs to stop thinking in boxing terms.
Eep (to Mouse): Uhhhh... Right. Well, that's good. I'd really like to say something intelligible right now, but, um, I have no idea what to add.
Mouse (to Eep): Heehee, it's okay. I'm going to jump in the shower & rinse off real quick.
Eep (to Mouse): Kay. I'll be in the kitchen.
Twenty minutes later:
Maddie: Knock, knock. Robert, are you home? I'm sorry I'm so late. My flight was delayed... (to Eep) Oh hey Eep, is Robert home?
Eep (to Maddie): MADDIE? What? What the fuck? Why... I mean, what... I mean, what the fuck are YOU doing here? Oh. Uh... right. Robert's next door. Oh shit! I'm burning the beans!
Maddie (to Eep): Hey stranger! There's an alumni thing this weekend at the college. I was talking to Robert about coming down & we were going to going to go grab drinks and catch up. I thought you guys were still roommates. God, I'm so sorry I totally thought I was at the right apartment.
Eep (to Maddie): Oh. No. I moved in with Mouse a couple of months ago, not, uh, not very far though. Obviously. S'alright. Robert's just one over, so if he's expecting... Wait. You thought we still lived together, and you didn't say anything to me? What were you gonna do? Shock me or avoid me all weekend?
Maddie (to Eep): I'm sorry. I honestly, thought Robert would have told you. He & I had spoken about it sometime last week. And yes, avoiding you did cross my mind.
Eep (to Maddie): Oh! Yeah. I'll bet it slipped his mind, with all the Bizarr...oh. Uhhhhh, relationship shit. He and Ripper had a fight. Anyway. Yeah. Like I said. Robert's just next door.
Maddie (to Eep): Oh okay. It was nice to see you. Bye, Eep.
Eep (to Maddie): Yeah. Later. Have a good time.
Mouse (to Eep): Who you talking to, sweetie?
Eep (to Mouse): Uh, Maddie, if you can believe it. There's some kinda alumni thing over at the school.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh... Ripper mentioned something about an alumni day earlier. Why was Maddie here?
Eep (to Mouse): She wanted to catch up with Robert, and got the wrong apartment. I'm guessing he forgot to mention it cause of the whole... 'I just learned there's an alternate dimension my boyfriend and neighbors and former roommate have been going camping in' thing.
Mouse (to Eep): Heh. Yeah, that could kinda make things like old friends coming to visit slip your mind, I suppose... Um, how did she look?
Eep (to Mouse): Oh. Uhhhh... About the same as last time we saw her, I guess. Heh. I, uh, I shouldn't revel in the fact that you're hotter than her, should I? It makes me kind of a dick, doesn't it?
Mouse (to Eep): Very good answer. :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Not my fault if it's the truth. You don't mind you're marrying a dick, then?
Mouse (to Eep): I don't think you're a dick... right now. :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Ha ha ha! Well, gimme time. I'm sure I'll do something to make you think otherwise.
Mouse (to Eep): Hmmm... I'm pretty sure that is not a game I want to play.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. Me either, actually. Uh... Despite all evidence to the contrary. I know you keep saying it's alright, but I'm really sorry about last night.
Mouse (to Eep): I had a feeling you were still beating yourself up about that.Really, it's okay. Besides, I liked the making up.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh. Uh... Heh. Yeah. I, uh, I can't complain about that part.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh good, and if you want me to be mad at you, so we can make up like that again. Just say the word. ;-)
Eep (to Mouse): Could we skip the you mad at me part, and get right to the making up part?
Mouse (to Eep): Heehee, Of course. C'mere you.
Robert (to Eep): Hello? Eep? Your door's open. I'm sorry I forgot... OH! Uh... Make that I'm sorry for interrupting. Heh. Sorry, Mouse.
Eep (to Robert): Fat Christ, Robert!
Mouse (to Robert): You have absolutely terrible timing.
Robert (to Mouse & Eep): You have my sincerest apologies. I'll see myself out, AND lock your door when I leave. As you were, kids.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, that was a bit of a buzzkill.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. More than a bit. What is he picking up Vincent's slack while he's off-world? Jesus!
Mouse (to Eep): I'm going to go double check the doors.
Eep (to Mouse): Lock the windows too. Turn off the lights. Pull the shades closed. You just KNOW someone else is gonna come knocking now.
Mouse (to Eep): You don't think that's overdoing it a bit?
Eep (to Mouse): Judging on how our luck tends to go? No.
Mouse (to Eep): Let's build a blanket fort just to be on the safe side.
Eep (to Mouse): That might not be a bad idea.
Percy (to Robert): You may want to stand back, honey. I'm making toast. I mistakenly told Wanda I would fix her an omelet & toast... I have no idea what I'm doing.
Robert (to Percy): So I see. You know, you could just use the toaster for the toast. It's in the cabinet about the sink.
Percy (to Robert): Oh? you don't use a pan to make toast? So much to learn.
Robert (to Percy): Technically, yes you can. But trust me on this one; the toaster is the way to go. Use the cast iron skillet for the omelet.
Percy (to Robert): Oh alright... One question... How do you make an omelet?
Robert (to Percy): Heh. Do you know how to make scrambled eggs?
Percy (to Robert): Yes? I think Vincent showed me how to make them once.
Robert (to Percy): Good. Then you know the basics. It's basically the same thing, only instead of scrambling the eggs in the pan... you're going to let them cook in the pan and fold the eggs in half. You look terrified.
Percy (to Robert): I think I'm way out of my depth, honey... I think I'm just going to go get donuts.
Robert (to Percy): Don't be a chicken! Grab the eggs, milk and shredded cheese out of the fridge and come here. You're making a damn omelet.
Percy (to Robert): Fine... bossy man.
Robert (to Percy): Don't act like a petulant little boy, and I won't treat you like one. Grab a bowl and fill it with hot water. If you warm up the eggs first, they'll cook better.
Percy (to Robert): Alright...
Robert (to Percy): You're doing fine. Just loosen it around the edges with the spatula there. Perfect! Now, give it a shake... and FOLD! Ta da! You made an omelet au frommage. Congrats.
Percy (to Robert): That was the most terrifying things I have ever done... and, I've been shot before.
Robert (to Percy): You've been shot? God damn. Somehow, I seriously doubt that cooking eggs is the most terrifying thing you've ever done.
Percy (to Robert): Well, I don't have to eat, so it's not something that I have in my database... And yes, I was shot. That's how I ended up in this body.
Robert (to Percy): So... that's not your original body? Heh. This is one of those conversations that goes right the hell over my head.
Percy (to Robert): Heh... Sorry. I thought the Professor had told you about me, honey.
Robert (to Percy): He just mentioned you were an automaton. He's been very quiet private about what you guys do over in Britannia.
Percy (to Robert): Oh well, that's probably because he doesn't really know a lot of what goes on over there. Jacob mostly writes & hangs out in the royal court. I work as an assistant to a trio of ridiculous sisters & sometimes as an errand boy for an inventor.
Robert (to Percy): A personal assistant? Isn't that what your sister... OH! Original body... Right. Poppy isn't really your sister is she?
Percy (to Robert): Not in the usual sense, no. But, Poppy does, I mean, did have a brother named Percy. It's a bit of a long story.
Robert (to Percy): Huh. I can only imagine. Well, I won't keep you from Wanda. But be warned, I might bombard you with questions later.
Percy (to Robert): Fair enough.
Several hours later:
Percy (to Mouse): Hey Miss Mouse, coming back from your workout?
Mouse (to Percy): Oh hey, Percy. Yeah, I was sparring with Jacob, he'll be up in a little bit. He needed a minute to lay on the floor alone.
Percy (to Mouse): Heehee, so you're still beating him up? I would have thought he'd learn his lesson by now.
Mouse (to Percy): Yeah, you'd think he would.
Percy (to Mouse): So, odd question, honey. Did you & Mister Gloomy get everything sorted last night?
Mouse (to Percy): Huh? ... Oh, you mean about me kicking him out of the kitchen? Of course, we did. I can't stay mad at him for too long... And, he usually punishes himself way worse than anything I would ever do. His guilt seems to know no limits.
Percy (to Mouse): Heh... I think there's a small part of him that's a little worried that you're going to come to your senses, honey.
Mouse (to Percy): Not a chance... I'm totally delusional in his favor.
Ripper (to Mouse): Alright, I think I'm okay now. Can you show me that move again? I want to figure out how you did it. (to Percy) Hey Percy.
Percy (to Ripper & Mouse): Hey Professor, you are a glutton for punishment... I'll leave you two to it. I need to go pick up Wanda from work. See ya!
Mouse (to Ripper): Fine... but, this is like the tenth time, are you sure? (to Percy) Bye Percy!
Ripper (to Percy): See ya later! (to Mouse) Positive.
Mouse (to Ripper): Okay, one more time & then I really need to get cleaned up and make some food. (to Otto) Can you let Eep know I'm in the basement sparring with Jacob when he gets home from work?
Otto (to Mouse): Mrow.
Mouse (to Otto): Thanks, old man.
An hour or so later:
Eep (to Otto): Hey, old man. Where's Mouse?
Otto (to Eep): MOW! Mrrrrrrow.
Eep (to Ripper): You're a masochist, aren't you? Are we gonna have to start charging every time Mouse beats you up?
Ripper (to Eep): Heh. It's nothing weird, I promise. I just asked her to show me a few grappling techniques... I'll figure them out eventually
Eep (to Ripper): Heh. I didn't think it was. (to Ripper & Mouse) You guys want anything to eat?
Ripper (to Eep): Nah, thanks though. It's time I headed home.
Mouse (to Ripper): I'll see you later. (to Eep) I was totally going to make something, but.... Oh god, I need a shower. I stink.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Yeah you do. S'alright. I don't mind cooking. How'd the workout go?
Mouse (to Eep): Better than the last time. I think he's getting a handle on it. He just needs to stop thinking in boxing terms.
Eep (to Mouse): Uhhhh... Right. Well, that's good. I'd really like to say something intelligible right now, but, um, I have no idea what to add.
Mouse (to Eep): Heehee, it's okay. I'm going to jump in the shower & rinse off real quick.
Eep (to Mouse): Kay. I'll be in the kitchen.
Twenty minutes later:
Maddie: Knock, knock. Robert, are you home? I'm sorry I'm so late. My flight was delayed... (to Eep) Oh hey Eep, is Robert home?
Eep (to Maddie): MADDIE? What? What the fuck? Why... I mean, what... I mean, what the fuck are YOU doing here? Oh. Uh... right. Robert's next door. Oh shit! I'm burning the beans!
Maddie (to Eep): Hey stranger! There's an alumni thing this weekend at the college. I was talking to Robert about coming down & we were going to going to go grab drinks and catch up. I thought you guys were still roommates. God, I'm so sorry I totally thought I was at the right apartment.
Eep (to Maddie): Oh. No. I moved in with Mouse a couple of months ago, not, uh, not very far though. Obviously. S'alright. Robert's just one over, so if he's expecting... Wait. You thought we still lived together, and you didn't say anything to me? What were you gonna do? Shock me or avoid me all weekend?
Maddie (to Eep): I'm sorry. I honestly, thought Robert would have told you. He & I had spoken about it sometime last week. And yes, avoiding you did cross my mind.
Eep (to Maddie): Oh! Yeah. I'll bet it slipped his mind, with all the Bizarr...oh. Uhhhhh, relationship shit. He and Ripper had a fight. Anyway. Yeah. Like I said. Robert's just next door.
Maddie (to Eep): Oh okay. It was nice to see you. Bye, Eep.
Eep (to Maddie): Yeah. Later. Have a good time.
Mouse (to Eep): Who you talking to, sweetie?
Eep (to Mouse): Uh, Maddie, if you can believe it. There's some kinda alumni thing over at the school.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh... Ripper mentioned something about an alumni day earlier. Why was Maddie here?
Eep (to Mouse): She wanted to catch up with Robert, and got the wrong apartment. I'm guessing he forgot to mention it cause of the whole... 'I just learned there's an alternate dimension my boyfriend and neighbors and former roommate have been going camping in' thing.
Mouse (to Eep): Heh. Yeah, that could kinda make things like old friends coming to visit slip your mind, I suppose... Um, how did she look?
Eep (to Mouse): Oh. Uhhhh... About the same as last time we saw her, I guess. Heh. I, uh, I shouldn't revel in the fact that you're hotter than her, should I? It makes me kind of a dick, doesn't it?
Mouse (to Eep): Very good answer. :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Not my fault if it's the truth. You don't mind you're marrying a dick, then?
Mouse (to Eep): I don't think you're a dick... right now. :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Ha ha ha! Well, gimme time. I'm sure I'll do something to make you think otherwise.
Mouse (to Eep): Hmmm... I'm pretty sure that is not a game I want to play.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. Me either, actually. Uh... Despite all evidence to the contrary. I know you keep saying it's alright, but I'm really sorry about last night.
Mouse (to Eep): I had a feeling you were still beating yourself up about that.Really, it's okay. Besides, I liked the making up.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh. Uh... Heh. Yeah. I, uh, I can't complain about that part.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh good, and if you want me to be mad at you, so we can make up like that again. Just say the word. ;-)
Eep (to Mouse): Could we skip the you mad at me part, and get right to the making up part?
Mouse (to Eep): Heehee, Of course. C'mere you.
Robert (to Eep): Hello? Eep? Your door's open. I'm sorry I forgot... OH! Uh... Make that I'm sorry for interrupting. Heh. Sorry, Mouse.
Eep (to Robert): Fat Christ, Robert!
Mouse (to Robert): You have absolutely terrible timing.
Robert (to Mouse & Eep): You have my sincerest apologies. I'll see myself out, AND lock your door when I leave. As you were, kids.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, that was a bit of a buzzkill.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. More than a bit. What is he picking up Vincent's slack while he's off-world? Jesus!
Mouse (to Eep): I'm going to go double check the doors.
Eep (to Mouse): Lock the windows too. Turn off the lights. Pull the shades closed. You just KNOW someone else is gonna come knocking now.
Mouse (to Eep): You don't think that's overdoing it a bit?
Eep (to Mouse): Judging on how our luck tends to go? No.
Mouse (to Eep): Let's build a blanket fort just to be on the safe side.
Eep (to Mouse): That might not be a bad idea.
