Nathaniel: Jesus Christ... How do I let myself get talked into this kinda shit? (to Colin) Um, hey. Colin?
Colin (to Nathaniel): Yeah. This is Colin. Who's this?
Nathaniel (to Colin): This is Nate, Zoe's cousin. She, uh, asked me to talk to you.
Colin (to Nathaniel): Oh. She wants to break up with me, doesn't she?
Nathaniel (to Colin): What? No! Not even a little bit. She wanted me to call, cause she's all afraid you might be gay. I guess she figures me an my homoness will be able to gaydar it outta you or something.
Colin (to Nathaniel): She thinks I'm gay? Why? Because I have two dads? That's just stupid. My da isn't even technically gay; he's bi. Besides, it's not like its a contagious disease or something! I don't...
Nathaniel (to Colin): Colin. Colin! It's not cause of your folks, and you know it. Come on, man! This is fucking awkward enough. Don't make it worse by playing stupid. ...God I can't believe I'm about to fucking have to say this... She's all freaked out because you don't seem to wanna have sex with her.
Colin (to Nathaniel): ... Yeah. Honestly, I kind of guessed that. Sorry.
Nathaniel (to Colin): Look, I get you don't wanna discuss this with some guy you don't even know, but Zoe's really fucking hurt. So what's the deal? She don't get your dick hard or something?
Colin (to Nathaniel): Wha--what? No! I mean, that is THE most disgusting sounding way you could have asked, but It's not that.
Nathaniel (to Colin): So what is it then? Help me understand this, man. You've got a cute girl that you seem pretty crazy about who's about to club you over the fucking head and drag you in her cave to ride you like a rodeo bull. Most guys would fucking kill for this problem.
Colin (to Nathaniel): I know. It's just that... Zoe has all these memories of being intimate with other people, right? I know they aren't HER memories, but she's going to kinda know what she's doing, right? I'm, uh, you know. I've never... I'm not very experienced. I've been doing a lot of reading, and researching stuff, but I'm still... If it's awful, then she might not want to date me anymore. A lot of people break up because they're sexually incompatible, you know. It's a serious thing. And then last night when she took her shirt off, I got so nervous...
Nathaniel (to Colin): ALRIGHT! Alright! I don't need details. ...for the fucking love of sweet baby Jesus I don't need details. Colin, you're never gonna find out if you guys are compatible if you never fuck. If you don't wanna have sex with her, that's one fucking thing. You need to tell her. But if it's all frickin' nerves, it's not a big fucking deal. It's gonna be weird and awkward and kinda awful at first. It is for everyone. But for real, man, you GOTTA talk to her about this shit. You're making her fucking crazy.
Colin (to Nathaniel): ... Thank you, Nate. I will. You will tell her I'm not gay, right?
Nathaniel (to Colin): God. YES. I will let her know you get a boner for girls. I'm hanging up now. I've filled my teen drama quota for the month.
A few minutes later:
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Zoe! You up?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): I am now. What's up?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Your boyfriend's not gay; he's a nerd.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Oh... I don't understand.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): I called Colin, and had the most awkward conversation I've ever had with another guy I wasn't dating. The short version is he was intimidated because he's worried you'll know what you're doing, and he won't, and that if he doesn't blow your fucking socks off the first time you have sex, then you won't want to date him because you're "sexually incompatible." He's been doing fucking research, Zoe. RESEARCH.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Oh god, I didn't know... I'm so sorry for making you do that, Nate.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): It's fine. Just TALK to him, OK? You both coulda avoided ALL this drama if you two woulda just talked to each other. Heh. And it's kinda fucking sweet how determined he is to do a good job with his boyfriend duties. Nerdy as shit, but sweet. He's probably drawn diagrams and flow charts and watched "instructional videos." :-P
Zoe (to Nathaniel): You're right... I thought we did. I guess we just didn't talk about the right things.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): No, I meant about your feelings, dumbass! He shoulda said, "Wow. I'm really nervous. I'm kinda freaking out." And YOU shoulda said, "Hey, you putting the breaks on this is making me feel insecure and like you don't wanna do this." "By the way, are you gay? Cause I don't wanna have to make my faggot cousin call you in the morning..."
Zoe (to Nathaniel): No, no. You're right. I'm sorry... I'm gonna go for a walk.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Zoe! C'mon! I'm just giving you a hard time. I don't mind if you talk to me about this shit, OK? Really I don't. I just don't wanna act as your intermediary, OK?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): I know. This is just new territory for me. I really, really like him & it's been so weird. Maybe, it's just not supposed to be him... Or I'm just overreacting because I'm horny as hell.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Ha ha ha! Yeah. I'd say it's more like the later, you pervert.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Are you kidding me? How would you feel if Aiden got you all hot & bothered and then just stopped?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. I'd be an huge asshole. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't saying I'm NOT a pervert. Takes one to know one. Besides, you'd have to ask Aiden about being with someone who gets him riled up and then puts the breaks on shit. Not me.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Oh okay... Maybe I will. :-p
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. If you REALLY wanna ask your cousin's boyfriend about his sex life, go right ahead.
Aiden (to Zoe & Nathaniel): Please, don't get me involved with your teen drama.
Zoe (to Aiden & Nathaniel): Oh... Good morning, Aiden. We were just talking about you.
Aiden (to Zoe & Nathaniel): So I heard...
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Heh. Sorry. I didn't wake you up, did I?
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Not at all. We've got an appointment to go look at a place in an hour. I wanted to get cleaned up first.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Oh shit! You're right. I should probably go try to look like someone you'd want moving into the neighborhood, huh?
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Heh. Yes and I think I'm going to forego the suit & tie, if that's alright with you? I don't want to seem overdressed & stuffy.
Zoe (to Nathaniel & Aiden): Have fun, you two.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Thanks! Good luck with your Nerd Boy. (to Aiden) You're going to forego a suit!?! Are you feeling alright? Heh. I'm just kidding! Don't make a face.
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Heh. I'd prefer to look like your boyfriend & not your parole officer. :-p
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Heh. So, I should NOT wear a wife beater and trucker hat.
Aiden (to Nathaniel): If you want to stay here, all you have to do is say so.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Heh. I wanna go. Look. I'm wearing a button up shirt and everything.
Aiden (to Nathaniel): You look very handsome, that color really suits you. Shall we go?
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Yeah... Sorry. What were you saying? When the hell did you get a pair of jeans?
Aiden (to Nathaniel): The day before yesterday while you were at work. Is there something wrong with what I'm wearing?
Nathaniel (to Aiden): No! No. You look good. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong. Heh... Sorry. Let's get going.
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Heh... I, now, have a very good idea of what to do for your birthday. ;-)
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Heh... Damn. You can wear those jeans any time you want. You weren't planning something for my birthday, were you?
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Nothing too fancy. I just thought we'd go for a nice dinner & then have dessert in our new place. If we have one by then.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Oh. That sounds nice. Heh. Sorry. I panicked there for a second. Everyone keeps asking what I've got planned. I never know what to say.
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Oh? Why is that?
Nathaniel (to Aiden): I dunno. I guess I didn't wanna make a big deal outta my birthday and get my hopes up.
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Oh. I could plan something bigger. I just didn't want to step on your family's toes if they were planning something special.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Heh. No, what you suggested sounds perfect. I don't think anyone's planning anything.
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Really? Have you met your family?
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Oh. Shit. They're totally gonna do something, aren't they?
Aiden (to Nathaniel): I think so but I could be wrong... Look, there's the realtor.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): God. I haven't had anyone make a fuss over my birthday since I was like 8...Yep. There she is. Goddamn. Can she smile wider? Welp, let's go be charming.
A short time later:
Zoe (to Colin): Hey, Colin? Are you free right now?
Colin (to Zoe): Hey! Yeah. I just got back from a jog. Um, what's up?
Zoe (to Colin): Can we go somewhere to talk? I think we need to... I wanted to apologize & explain something to you.
Colin (to Zoe): Oh. Um, yeah. Of course. You don't owe me an apology. I can meet you somewhere if you want.
Zoe (to Colin): How about the park we like? I'll bring a picnic & blanket.
Colin (to Zoe): Yeah. Sounds good. I'm just gonna grab a quick shower. Do you want me to bring anything?
Zoe (to Colin): No, I've got everything.
At a park by the river, East Piedmont:
Colin (to Zoe): Oh. Heh. Hey. Sorry. I got here kinda early.
Zoe (to Colin): It's okay. I was just getting things setup… How are you?
Colin (to Zoe): I'm... I'm good. You, um, you aren't breaking up with me are you?
Zoe (to Colin): God no, I love you. I wouldn't do that… I just thought we should talk about last night.
Colin (to Zoe): Oh! Thank God! I thought... Heh. I'm sorry. I'm kind of an idiot. I'm sorry I freaked out last night. And I'm sorry it made you feel bad. Your cousin called me this morning.
Zoe (to Colin): Yeah, he told me. I'm sorry. I kinda freaked out last night when I got home. That's why I wanted to talk to you… Here I brought some fruit, cheese, bread & sparkling cider… I really, really like you Colin. I'm sorry if I've been pressuring you. If you're not ready, I should respect that. So, as of now, I won't bring it up anymore. All these memories in my head make me a little crazy sometimes. I'm really sorry. I just wanted a good memory that was all my own… I've been having nightmares again & well, I-- never mind.
Colin (to Zoe): What do you mean you've been having nightmares again?
Zoe (to Colin): … Oh, it's nothing really. I just sometimes have bad dreams, well, they're memories, mostly. I think the stress of the play & getting picked on have brought them back… I'm sure they'll go away. They usually do.
Colin (to Zoe): Oh... That sucks. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you how nervous I am. It's just... You kinda intimidate me. Heh. I can't believe your cousin asked me if I was gay. Believe me, being turned on by you is NOT part of the problem. I'm just nervous.
Zoe (to Colin): Why are you intimidated by me? I'm nothing special.
Colin (to Zoe): Are you KIDDING me? You're massively fucking special! You're smart, and funny, and cool, and cute as hell... You're dealing with all this just CRAZY stuff, and you just deal with it. You are bad fucking ass! Plus, you know more about Star Wars than I ever will, and that is HOT. I mean, why do you think I'm always trying to make sure everything is like special and stuff? How else am I gonna keep you interested in me? I am many things, but "bad ass" has definitely never been on the list.
Zoe (to Colin): But, just being with you is special enough for me… I'm just trying to be normal & do regular things. I've got all these things in my head, Colin… There are things I haven't told you about, but I can't-- not yet. I'm not bad ass, honest. It's nice that you think so, but I'm not. Not really.
Colin (to Zoe): Well, *I* think you're bad ass. Of course, I'm the president of the math club, so take that as you will. I love you, Zoe. I really do. I'm sorry I'm not very good at talking about this kinda stuff, or at being in a relationship.
Zoe (to Colin): I love you, too. And, you're doing just fine. This is all new to me, too. I mean, I know I have these memories but it wasn't me. My mom & dad constantly remind me that I am not what's in my head… I'm sorry I told you about all of that & that it makes you nervous or feel intimidated. But, you're extremely wonderful, thoughtful, caring, smart & damn sexy. I'd really like to have my first time to be with you. And, we can do that whenever you're ready. I'll wait.
Colin (to Zoe): Do you ever feel anxious about it?
Zoe (to Colin): Hell yeah, I do… You are fucking hot and sexy. The fact that you are so smart and nerdy just adds to it. On our first date, I was so nervous & sat dumbstruck. I thought for sure you'd end up regretting that you asked me out. I wanted to jump you right then. But, I realized that would be dumb, so I controlled myself.
Colin (to Zoe): You wanted to what? Ha ha ha! No wonder you kept spacing out. I thought I was boring you. That's why I was trying so hard.
Zoe (to Colin): You don't bore me at all… Poor Joseph has had to hear me go on about you for the last couple days. He's been walking to school & home with me. I'm sure he's tired of me going on about you.
Colin (to Zoe): Yeah... I'm sure he just LOVES hearing about what an idiot I am.
Zoe (to Colin): What!?! I've never said you were an idiot. And, he's not all that bad. He's been staying with his dad in our building. Did you know his dad is William Two-Crow? He wrote the Tale of the Spirit. It's one of my favorite short stories. Joseph said that when his dad is done with his next book, he might sign my copy of it. Isn't that cool?
Colin (to Zoe): Wow. Impressive pedigree. Still ... You might not have been calling me an idiot, but he was thinking it. He likes you.
Zoe (to Colin): I like him, too. He's actually not such a bad guy once you get to know him. He fucking volunteers at the public library.
Colin (to Zoe): No, I mean, I'll bet he's hoping I mess things up with you so he can ask you out. You have an affinity for grumpy. Nate was like really overaggressive when he was trying to be helpful and comforting.
Zoe (to Colin): Oh sorry, Nate means well. He's kind of that way about most things. And, Joseph doesn't like me like that. He was telling me about some girl he likes. He was asking me advice about how to show her that he liked her.
Colin (to Zoe): Heh. Nate's alright. He doesn't bother me. Mars used to babysit me, after all. :-P I wonder what girl Joseph was asking you about? I've never seen him show any interest in anyone but you.
Zoe (to Colin): I don't know. He didn't tell me her name… Are you jealous?
Colin (to Zoe): No! ... Maybe. Just a little bit. ... yes.
Zoe (to Colin): You don't have anything to worry about, Colin... Am I sitting in this park with you or Joseph?
Colin (to Zoe): I know. And it's not like I can fault him for his tastes.
Zoe (to Colin): Well, I can… Now, give me a kiss & help me pack up this picnic.
Colin (to Zoe): You're awesome and you know it. I'll get the fruit put away.
Zoe (to Colin): Thank you… So, my dad helped me pick out a dress for the spring formal but I wanted you to see it before I bought it... Are you willing to come with me & check it out?
Colin (to Zoe): Sure! Heh. Man, I am SO glad I'm a dude when it comes to this stuff. Getting a tux is WAY easier.
Zoe (to Colin): Yeah well, I was going to do that… But my mom vetoed it. She said she'd like to get at least one photo of me in a dress.
Colin (to Zoe): Heh. Well, I wouldn't mind seeing you in a formal dress. All packed up! Where are we headed?
Zoe (to Colin): To that clothing store, Silk Threads, downtown. I had the clerk put the dress & a backup dress aside for me. And then, I guess we could head home.
Colin (to Zoe): Alright. Lead on.
A short time later, at Silk Threads, West Piedmont:
Zoe (to Colin): … So what do you think of the dress?
Colin (to Zoe): I... I, um, I like it. I like it A LOT.
Zoe (to Colin): Oh good… So, this one will work? You sure you don't want me to try on the other one I showed you?\
Colin (to Zoe): What? Oh... Um, if you want.
Zoe (to Colin): Okay, I'll go try the other one on, then… Since you don't seem to care.
A couple minutes later:
Zoe (to Colin): … So, how about this one? Better or worse than the first one?
Colin (to Zoe): Not worse. But...um, I think I like the first one better. Wow, you're pretty...
Zoe (to Colin): Thank you… I'm gonna go put my clothes back on & get the first dress. Do you have a tie that'll match it?
Colin (to Zoe): I'm not sure, but I'll bet I can find one. I'll, um, I'll wait here while you change...
Zoe (to Colin): Be right out.
Colin: Whooo boy... I'm in trouble. (to Zoe) Right. See you in a few.
A few minutes later:
Zoe (to Colin): Okay. I got the dress. Ready to go?
Colin (to Zoe): Yep. Want me to walk you home?
Zoe (to Colin): Oh, sure… Unless, you want to do something else.
Colin (to Zoe): Oh, um, I don't know... I just didn't wanna say goodbye just yet.
Zoe (to Colin): I don't want to say goodbye just yet, either. Wanna come over to my house & watch a movie?
Colin (to Zoe): Yeah! That sounds good. Sorry. You looked really nice in those dresses. You got me a little flustered.
Zoe (to Colin): Only a little flustered? That's not very good. I'll have to try better next time. :-P
Colin (to Zoe): Heh. Maybe a lot flustered.
Zoe (to Colin): I like it when you're flustered.
Colin (to Zoe): Heh. You fluster me a lot. Like, um, right now.
Zoe (to Colin): Why? I'm not doing anything but walking & holding hands with you.
Colin (to Zoe): I know. Heh. It's enough. Were you really worried I'm gay?
Zoe (to Colin): A little, but not because of your dads. I'm not an idiot, I know it doesn't work that way. It was just weird that we were messing around last night, you stopped abruptly and then said you needed to get home. I thought I might have done something wrong or maybe, you had just realized something about yourself. I don't know. It was just strange.
Colin (to Zoe): Oh... heh. No. Sudden realizations that I like guys or anything. Promise. I just... I'm sorry. I kind of freaked out. I don't know if you've noticed this about me, but I have a tendency to over think things.
Zoe (to Colin): Heh. Yeah, I've noticed. Did you really tell my cousin that you were worried that I'd break up with you if we were "sexually incompatible"?
Colin (to Zoe): Oh God... He told you that, didn't he?
Zoe (to Colin): Shit... I shouldn't have said that… Oh god, did he say anything about me to you? He did, didn't he?
Colin (to Zoe): Not really. All he said was that I was making you kinda nuts. And, um, yeah... I... When I don't know what to do, I start doing research... which is SO embarrassing to admit.
Zoe (to Colin): So, you did a bunch of research on sex, huh? I'm flattered. But, you do realize that you looking up this stuff is about the equivalent of the memories in my head. Sure, we know the mechanics of it but it's just not the same thing as actually doing it.
Colin (to Zoe): Oh. Do you think so? Really? Heh. God. I'm sorry I'm such a dork.
Zoe (to Colin): I'm not sorry you're a dork. I like that about you... Can we just maybe forget about the whole sex thing for now? I promise I'm going to stop stressing & overreacting about it.
Colin (to Zoe): Yeah. How about we watch a movie tonight and just kinda take it easy for a while?
Zoe (to Colin): Okay... Does that mean no kissing?
Colin (to Zoe): I hope to God not.
Zoe (to Colin): Oh good, I was worried for a minute.
At Poppy & Vincent's apartment, West Piedmont:
Zoe (to Vincent & Poppy): Mom? Dad? Colin & I are going to watch a movie in the living room. So no weird stuff please!
Vincent (to Zoe & Poppy): Hee hee. We could say the same to you, sweetie. Mom and I are going out for a little bit with an old friend.
Poppy (to Zoe): That's fine, honey. Oh, you got flowers delivered earlier today.
Zoe (to Poppy): I did? That's weird. (to Colin) Did you send flowers? You're so sweet.
Colin (to Zoe): Um, no. It wasn't me.
Zoe (to Poppy, Colin & Vincent): Oh... It's probably someone from the play or something. (to Poppy & Vincent) Have fun!
Vincent (to Zoe & Poppy): We will. Behave yourselves, kiddos!
Zoe (to Vincent): We will.
Colin (to Zoe): I don't suppose you told Joseph to send his unnamed crush flowers, did you? :-P
Zoe (to Colin): ... Oh, fuck, I did.
Colin (to Zoe): Huh. Somehow, I don't feel as awesome as I usually do when I'm right. I don't even want to do an I-Told-You-So dance.
Zoe (to Colin): Really? You don't want to rub it in my face? I mean, I wouldn't blame you.
Colin (to Zoe): Actually, no. I'd rather kiss you. If that's OK.
Zoe (to Colin): I think I could handle that.
Colin (to Zoe): Yeah. Me too.
Zoe (to Colin): Good. Come here.
A little while later:
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Heh. Jesus Christ! Aiden! We're at my aunt and uncle's place! Don't get so... (to Zoe & Colin) Oops. Speaking of handsy. Heh. Sorry, y'all. Heh. Don't mind us. We're already getting lost.
