Zoe: I'm seriously beginning to rethink this whole school thing... One of the guys in my biology class keeps trying to give me a terrible nickname. Then, a cheerleader tripped me in the hall causing me to spill all of my books everywhere & then she simply said 'Oops'. I was very tempted to open a portal and drop her inside, possibly to Timbuktu... And, all before noon. I bet this is how super villains get started.
A couple hours later, at Marlena & Yukiko's apartment, West Piedmont:
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Hey Nate, if you're available in the next hour or so. I've got some free time. You can just head on over. It's, uh, safe.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Heh. Yeah. I should be. I'll see you shortly.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): See you soon.
A moment later, at Poppy & Vincent's apartment, West Piedmont:
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Mars, wants me to head over so she can finish up her painting. You gonna hang out here?
Aiden (to Nathaniel): I'm sure you don't want me hovering while you two are doing that. I'll just stay here & read my book, if that's alright.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Heh. Yeah, it is kinda embarrassing. I'll see you soon. Can I, uh, give you a kiss before I go?
Aiden (to Nathaniel): I insist on it.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Hooo boy! ... Goddamn you're good at that. Alright. Leaving now. I'll see you later.
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Heh. It helps to have a good partner... I'll be here when you get back.
A short time later, at Marlena & Yukiko's apartment, West Piedmont:
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Hey. Sorry it took me a little longer than I anticipated. I kinda got hung up.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): No worries. I think we're fucking even if the getting hung up department... Um, sorry about yesterday.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): It's not a big deal. It's not like you answered the door in a gimp mask with a giant dildo in your hand or some shit.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): God, there's a fucking terrifying thought... Heh. If you could sit in the chair like you did for the second piece that would great. I need to get the shading right on your face.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Yeah. OK. Am I facing the right way?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): A little to your right... Perfect! Okay, this should only take a minute or two.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): It's fine. Heh. I'm not gonna ask you about the other night, you know.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): ... Really? Then, why the fuck did you bring it up?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Cause you're tense as shit, and I figured that was the reason. If your shoulders ratchet up any higher, you're gonna be able to put hats on them. Jesus...
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Fuck. Sorry... I just feel kinda foolish & embarrassed.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Like, I'm gonna sit over here and judge. I was hooking up with Aiden when he was fucking engaged, and before that, I was mooning over some guy, who looking back on it, was kinda a douche. No, make that WAS a douche.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Heh...Yeah, River's not that bad, thankfully. I was just really upset & hurt when he left. I did a lot of stupid shit trying to get fucking over him. And, I thought I was. Clearly, I wasn't. We talked a lot yesterday & we have no idea what we're doing but if we start seeing each other again. Which is a big fucking 'IF'… We're going to do things differently. Sorry. You fucking said you didn't want to hear about this bullshit... Okay. I'm done with the fix. You can get up.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): I didn't say I didn't wanna hear about it. I said I wasn't gonna ask. I figured if you wanted to talk about it you would. I know not being a nosy fucking bastard is a foreign concept in this family. Heh. He wanted to get back together, huh? That explains some shit.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): It does?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Yeah. He was trying REAL hard to be all charming and friendly and shit. Makes sense now. It's cause I'm the only new guy at the coffeehouse. I'll bet he thought if he could get me on his side, I'd be all "Mars, you should give River a second chance."
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Heh... He said he thought you didn't like him, that you act all prickly whenever he's around. Now, I see what he meant.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Yeah, well, I'm prickly with everybody. Especially if someone's trying to get me to like them. I'm fucking paranoid.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): I know. That's what I fucking told him.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Heh. I think he was also trying to figure out if I had the hots for you. He was WAY overattentive when I was there with Aiden. He's not used to people not liking him, huh? I'll bet you 10 fucking bucks now that he knows I'm gay, he'll start trying to fucking flirt with me to win me over. Watch.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): ... Nate, he's not fucking like that. His older sister is gay & he absolutely looks up to her and adores her girlfriend... Willow would totally fucking kick his ass, if she found out he did that kind of shit.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Woah. Calm down. I didn't mean any offense by it. I just meant that he's gonna switch tactics. The easiest way to get someone, especially a guy, to like you is to butter them up a little bit, you know, flirt a little around the edges. Believe me. I KNOW. How the fuck do you think I've been convincing people to get me cigarettes and shit all these years? And he was totally trying to figure out if I had the hots for you, you know. He saw us sitting outside smoking the other day.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Yeah well, it took him two fucking months to finally get me to agree to go out with him. So, he was probably wondered who you were & why I was talking to you... I'm not known for having a lot of friends. Shit. I'm so fucking glad Yoyo isn't here. She'd probably kill him on sight. She was here for the aftermath.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Oh shit. She could do it & make it look like an accident... Fuck. I'll have to be nice to him now. He's a dead man walking. Ouch! Don't fucking bruise the merchandise! You kill or maim me, you're out of a weird, awkward model!
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Here, stick this in your smoke hole... I need a cigarette.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Smoke hole?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): I can't be fucking witty all of the time.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Heh. I guess even brainiacs have off days. I'll get outta your hair. You alright?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Yeah, I'm fine. I'll see you later. I need to get ready for class, anyway.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Later, Stretch.
A few hours later:
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Hey, Shortie.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Hey.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Well, you look like shit. You alright?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Fucking school... I hate it. I want to drop it in the ocean.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Don't drop the whole school in the ocean. That's a waste of energy. Just drop the assholes in there. Not going so well, huh?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Not really... I know it's normal & it might get better. It's just teenagers are such douches... And, I was bad & portaged the head cheerleader's underwear somewhere during the pep rally. Heh. She fell when the pyramid collapsed... I feel mildly guilty about it.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Ha ha ha! Oh, Oh, Jesus... I mean, yes. You're a terrible bitch, and you should be ashamed. But... Oh holy fuck! That was probably fucking hilarious. ... You can open a portal and take someone's *clothing* off? That's... Huh. Heh. You're something else.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): ... It takes surgical precision. I've been practicing taking things out of pockets & putting them into other pockets using very tiny portals... If she hadn't been picking on me all the time I would have left her alone. And, it was more like I removed sections of her underwear, so they fell off anyway... It just sounded better to say I portalled them somewhere.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Sorry you're having a rough time of it.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): It's fine, I guess. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. One of my classmates who was trying to be helpful, I think, told me that I should seriously rethink my fashion statement, because that was probably why I was getting singled out... I told her that while I appreciated the advice, she could kindly fuck off & mind her own business... I don't think we're going to be friends.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. Yeah. Probably not. Besides, it's not like changing the way you look will keep people from picking on you.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): I know... I'm willing to give it a little longer, because I told Colin I would. But, if it still sucks in a couple months than I'm dropping out and getting my GED.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): I wouldn't blame you. I didn't have much patience for school, or my schoolmates, either.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): ... Oh, um, will you come to the school at 6pm tomorrow? I'm auditioning for a play & could use some moral support.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Yeah. If you want. Colin talked you into auditioning for something, huh?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Yeah... and, Sheila, the vice president of the Theatre Club was very excited about the prospect of "fresh meat". It's going to be terrible... I have to memorize a monologue of my choosing & recite it. I haven't decided what I'm doing yet. I'm leaning towards Iago's monologue in Othello.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. I think I know the one. He's telling the audience "I'm fucking with Othello because he annoys me & I'm a dick" right? You'll do fine.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): That would be the one... Heh. You & Colin seem to have a lot more faith in my ability than I do.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Well, somebody's gotta have faith in you. ... Jesus... I'm a sap.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Heh... Just figuring that out now, are you? Speaking of you being all soft & squishy. Where's your tall piece of British man candy?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): At his hotel. I'm gonna meet him in a little while. I promised that I'd let him take me someplace nice for dinner, and I thought I should make an appearance home, and check on you and shit. He, um... He asked me if I wanted to move in with him.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Oh... What did you say?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Calm down. It's not right away. Like in months, or years, and after all this blacklisting shit gets sorted. Plus, I'm still kinda fucked up, you know? I can't take a big fucking step like that with someone without getting myself a bit more straightened out. It's not fair.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): I didn't think you were going to do it right now or anything. I know you're not an idiot. I would just miss you, that's all. But, I'm glad that things are working out with you two.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. Yeah. Me too. Anyway, I'm still plenty crazy, so you aren't rid of me yet. And I need your help. How the fuck do I dress for dinner someplace "nice?" I don't think I even own a shirt with a fucking collar.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Come on, let's go to the thrift store down the street and see what we can find for you. And, if that doesn't work, I know a couple people you can probably borrow some clothes from... if we ask them really nicely.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Alright. You're the boss.
Zoe (to Jacob): Damn skippy!
An hour or so later:
Zoe (to Jacob): Hi Mister Rathbone, I'm sorry to bother you but I'm trying to help my cousin, Nate, get dressed for a date tonight & I was wondering if you had any old clothes he could borrow? His boyfriend is taking him out somewhere nice & he doesn't own anything even remotely dressy and the thrift store was a bit of a wash.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Oh my god... This is so embarrassing.
Jacob (to Zoe): Nate, huh? I think I have some stuff that should fit him. Come on over.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Hush you... (to Jacob) Thanks! We'll be over shortly. (to Nathaniel) Take my hand... This'll be much faster. There's an alley by their house we can drop into, rather than taking a bus or cab.
A moment later, near Robert & Jacob's house, East Piedmont:
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Oof... I really need to figure out a better arrival. I always seem to be a foot of the ground.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. You think of yourself as a foot taller, huh? That doesn't surprise me. Tell me the truth, you just asked Colin's dad about clothes so you could see you boyfriend.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Not at all. I happen to know no one better at dressing nicely than Mister Rathbone and that he's the closest in size to you. Eep is way too tall, Vincent & Victor are too short, Robert is bigger... Though, we could probably ask Percy... You're about the same size. Want me to do that, instead?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Oh god! No. No. No. No. Percy freaks me right the fuck out. Jesus... See? This is why I hate dressing up!
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Heehee, I thought that would shut you up.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Alright. Let's get this over with.
A couple minutes later, at Robert & Jacob's house, East Piedmont:
Jacob (to Zoe & Nathaniel): Hi you two, come on in.
Zoe (to Jacob): Thank you so much for the help, Mister Rathbone.
Jacob (to Zoe): Zoe, you can call me Jacob, really, I don't mind... (to Nathaniel) So, Nate, where are you going for dinner?
Zoe (to Jacob): Oh right, sorry. I forgot.
Nathaniel (to Jacob & Zoe): Oh. Um, it's an Indian place... Bombay Palace, I think?
Jacob (to Nathaniel): Okay, so you don't need a suit or anything... If you don't mind going into our bedroom, I think I have suitable clothing in my closet you can try on. (to Zoe) Zoe, you can come with us too, if you'd like. I don't want to make Nate uncomfortable.
Zoe (to Nathaniel & Jacob): Oooh, it'll be like a fashion show. This should be fun.
Jacob (to Zoe): I'm not sure you're helping your cousin out by saying things like that.
Nathaniel (to Jacob): She's been grinning like that since I asked her for help. She knows she's not helping.
Nathaniel (to Jacob): Um, thank you for your help, Mr. Rathbone. I--I'm sorry I kinda freaked out at you the first time we met.
Jacob (to Nathaniel): It's okay. I've all but forgotten it but I appreciate the apology. Please call me Jacob... Here, try this shirt & vest on.
Nathaniel (to Jacob): Um, OK… (to Zoe) Stop fucking snickering! Oh. Uh, I mean... (to Jacob) Sorry.
Jacob (to Nathaniel): Quite alright. (to Zoe) Zoe, why don't you go see what the rest of my brood is doing?
Zoe (to Nathaniel & Jacob): I'm fine here. Really.
Jacob (to Zoe): Zoe, go entertain yourself elsewhere. Please? I think your snickering isn't helping your cousins nerves.
Zoe (to Jacob): Oh okay. (to Nathaniel) Sorry, Nate.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): It's alright. (to Jacob) Um, would I be able to wear this with jeans? I mean, not these. I've got some without, you know, a bunch of holes in them.
Jacob (to Nathaniel): Oh yeah, you can... but let me grab you some pants, just in case you want to try something different. I also have a jacket that will probably fit you and look nice with the shirt and vest... I just realized how incredibly stereotypical I'm being. Sorry. I assure you it doesn't happen all that often. Robert teases me about being his wife whenever I do it.
Nathaniel (to Jacob): Heh. That's alright. You've met my uncle, right? Thank you. For your help. I've only ever had one suit, and when I ran... Um, left home, I didn't take it with me. It was too small anyway.
Jacob (to Nathaniel): Heh, no worries. I've probably got enough old clothes in here that I've been holding onto for no particular reason, if you need some dressier clothes. Robert has been harassing me to clean this damn thing out. I'd much rather give them to you, if you like any of it.
Nathaniel (to Jacob): Oh. Um, thank you. I guess I should probably have a wardrobe more extensive than t-shirts and jeans, huh?
Jacob (to Nathaniel): Heh... Trust me, you can't go wrong with a nice wardrobe. Okay, I think you're done. Go look in the mirror.
Nathaniel (to Jacob): God... I don't know. I look like I'm about to defend myself in court, but couldn't be bothered to put on a tie. Don't I?
Jacob (to Nathaniel): No offense, but you look good. You're dressed up but not too formal. I think your boyfriend will be impressed. Trust me, you'll do fine.
Nathaniel (to Jacob): Um, OK. If you say so. I hope so. Aiden can be kinda stuffy. He eats pizza with a fork and knife. And, I don't wanna look like some total redneck slob, you know? Thanks. Again. Oh shi-oot. Is that the time? I should get going. I need my cousin to tell me how to get home, though. She, uh, kinda got me turned around. On the way here.
Jacob (to Nathaniel): Did she bring you via portal?
Nathaniel (to Jacob): Oh. Yeah. I forgot you knew about that. Yeah. I don't really know how to open one myself. I mean, I've only done it once. And that was kind of an emergency, you know?
Jacob (to Nathaniel): Oh, I used to just imagine a door and that when it opened where I wanted to be was on the other side. But, that was quite some time ago. I don't crossover much anymore, but when I do I have to actually use an already established portal, like at the Old Piedmont. I bet Zoe would be happy to take you wherever you needed to go. If you send her back here, I can send her home with some clothes for you. I'm sure, she won't mind.
Nathaniel (to Jacob): Oh. Yeah. I would really appreciate that. I keep saying it, but, um, thanks. I'm gonna go find Zoe.
Jacob (to Nathaniel): Honestly, it was no problem. I'll come with you. It smells like dinner is just about ready.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen:
Zoe (to Robert & Colin): Hello O'Reilly-Rathbone clan! I've been sent away from the fashion emergency.
Robert (to Zoe): Fashion emergency? That sounds dire. Have a seat. We were seeing about dinner. Would you like to join us?
Colin (to Zoe): Say yes! It's a school night. We'll have you home early. You could say yes...
Zoe (to Robert & Colin): ... I don't want to intrude but if it's okay, I'd love to. Especially, since Colin is so keen on it.
Robert (to Zoe): You're not intruding. And you picked up that Colin is keen on it, did you? He's always so subtle about things.
Colin (to Robert): You're hilarious, Dad.
Zoe (to Robert & Colin): Heehee. I'm not sure I would actually recognize real subtlety if it bit me in the as-- butt.
Robert (to Zoe): Heh. Very nice save. And no, knowing what I do of your family, you wouldn't know subtlety if it bit your ass.
Zoe (to Robert & Colin): Heehee, yeah my parents are very big on subtlety.
Robert (to Zoe): I have, shockingly, noticed this about your family. ;-)
Jacob (to Colin, Zoe & Robert): Hello family & Zoe! Food smells wonderful.
Robert (to Jacob): I'm making a super-complicated dinner of frozen squash tortellini and curry pasta sauce. I see your fashion show went well. (to Nathaniel) My wife did a very nice job, Nate. You look very handsome.
Jacob (to Robert): It is a very good thing that I love you, husband.
Colin (to Robert & Jacob): Don't mind us. It's not like we're sitting RIGHT HERE. :-P
Robert (to Colin): Rather than pulling faces, why don't you make yourself useful and help me with dinner?
Zoe (to Colin & Robert): Heehee... (to Nathaniel) Nate, do you need me to take you home or to the restaurant?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): If you could take me to the restaurant, that'd be great.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Okay. (to Colin, Robert & Jacob) Is it alright if I come back here?
Jacob (to Zoe): I think our oldest would be quite upset if you didn't come back.
Colin (to Jacob): Heck yeah I would! (to Zoe) Come back! We can work on your monologue, & pretend we're doing homework & not hanging out.
Jacob (to Colin): You know, you could be a little less obvious that your grounding is a sham, my son.
Colin (to Jacob): Heh. Sorry, Da.
Zoe (to Colin): Okay, I'll be right back. (to Nathaniel) Come on, Nate. I don't want you to be late.
A moment later, outside of Bombay Palace, West Piedmont:
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Oh... Christ! That is... That is always kinda fucking nuts. OK. I'm a little early. Thank you. Do I, um, do I look alright? I don't look like I'm about to say "I plead 'Not Guilty,' your honor," do I? Honestly?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Nate, you look fucking good. Aiden will be impressed & probably want to take you back to his room immediately after dinner.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Sorry. I've just never been to a restaurant that didn't have paper napkins and a fucking kids' menu before. Heh. I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette while I wait and calm the fuck down. Go. Get back to your dinner.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Okay, have fun.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): You too. Later, shortie.
A short time later:
Nathaniel: Alright. I can do this. Just put my napkin in my lap, use a knife, and fake like I know what I'm doing. No one will be the wiser, right?
Aiden (to Nathaniel): You're here, already... I was worried that I was going to get here first. You look very handsome.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Heh. Thanks. I had help. A lot of help. Clearly. You look really nice too. Course you always do. I mean, I'm the one who kinda dresses like a slob... Oh god, why won't you shut me up when I do that?
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Heh. Because, the only effective way I know to stop you from babbling is to kiss you aggressively. And, it's a little early in the evening for that.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Heh. Yeah? Then you're gonna have one hell of a quiet dinner, cause I'm gonna have my hands slapped over my mouth all night.
Aiden (to Nathaniel): We could just get dinner to go, if you like... I know, I wouldn't mind it.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Oh. Um, no. I don't mind. Heh. Guess it's obvious I'm feeling way the fuck outta my depth here, huh? Sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your plans. I know you wanted to go somewhere nice.
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Oh, you don't look out of your depths. I just think you look really, really good... God, I'm sorry. That probably sounds a bit rude.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): Oh! Oh. You wanna get dinner to go for rude reasons? I'm scandalized! Heh. I'm just kidding. We can get it to go if you want.
Aiden (to Nathaniel): Yes, let's. Eating out is a bit overrated in my opinion.
Nathaniel (to Aiden): I'm perfectly fine with that.
