Starling: I am very tired of these infernal ISS agents being underfoot. I would really like to play with them all... especially their heads.
Carver (to Starling): Good morning, Miss Starling. What can we do for you, miss?
Starling (to Carver): Carver sir, is it, at all, possible to remove some of these ISS agents from the premises? I find them to be a nuisance. And, quite frankly a tad tedious & presumptuous. They seem to think I'm only a child & keep offering me candy.
Carver (to Starling): We're sorry you find them taxing, Miss, but do continue to allow them to underestimate you. It will be most useful in the future we think, Miss. Do try to tolerate them a bit longer. We must allow the Parliament to think it has control of the situation, Miss. At least until it suits us not to. If you find them too unbearable, Miss, you may always follow a few of them home. Do try not to make a mess near the ISS offices,
Starling (to Carver): Oh yes, of course, sir... Is there anything I can do for you?
Carver (to Starling): Not just yet, Miss. Never fear, we've heard some interesting rumors that may help cement a few alliances in place. We'll keep you informed, Miss. We think you shall enjoy your next assignment. Do try not to disappoint us this time, Miss.
Starling (to Carver): Yes, sir. You know how much I hate disappointing you, sir. I promise I'll do much better next time.
Carver (to Starling): We're quite sure you will, Miss. You know how Other Carver hates to be disappointed. If you will excuse us, Miss Starling. There are some individuals dissatisfied with current events whom the Director of the ISS would like us to speak to personally. We don't want the masses thinking too much, Miss. It isn't good for them.
Starling (to Carver): Of course, sir. Thank you, sir.
At Marlena & Yukiko's apartment, Piedmont School of Arts & Science, West Piedmont:
Marlena: Who the fuck is banging on the door at-- whatever the fuck the time is!?! It better be something goddamn important.
Yukiko (to Marlena): Cool your jets, killer... I'll get it. You know, waving a spatula isn't really going to scare anyone.
Victor (to Yukiko): Good morning! I didn't wake you, did I?
Yukiko (to Victor): Not me, I was up early, but you may have to deal with the wrath of Mars... which seems to include her brandishing a spatula.
Marlena (to Victor & Yukiko): Ha ha, you're very funny... There better be coffee made.
Yukiko (to Marlena): There is, Miss Grumpy.
Victor (to Yukiko & Marlena): You wouldn't spatula-urder a gentleman carrying muffins, would you?
Marlena (to Victor): ... I think you're safe, for now.
Yukiko (to Victor & Marlena): Heehee. Muffins would be lovely. What's the occasion?
Victor (to Marlena): I thought you might have needed some bribing. :-P (to Yukiko) There's no occasion, really, I spoke to my parents last night about enrolling in school on this side.
Yukiko (to Victor): Oh... What happened?
Marlena (to Victor): Well, this definitely helps. (to Victor & Yukiko) I'll leave you two to talk. I need to get ready for class, anyway. Thanks for the muffins, Victor.
Victor (to Marlena): You're welcome. Have a good day at class. I'm sorry for waking you. (to Yukiko) Nothing dramatic, actually. Both my parents want me to go to school here. They're concerned about the prospect of us living together, because it's a big step, and we're both young, but my mom said they'll support us if that's what we decide.
Yukiko (to Victor): Wow... I wasn't expecting that. I'm practically speechless. So, what do you want to do?
Victor (to Yukiko): I'd like to move in with you, if you'll have me. Heh. Of course, I do have to see if I can get accepted into school first.
Yukiko (to Victor): That shouldn't be too hard... You could apply for the creative writing program. Talk about how there's this wonderful world you've created which has an alternate timeline... I bet that'll help cover up any historical inconsistencies you might make. And, Mars' dad & Professor Rathbone would probably be willing to give you recommendations.
Victor (to Yukiko): Ha ha ha! Just take credit for an entire reality? Heh. That seems a little egotistical. I'm sure it will be fine. Mostly sure it will be fine. I'll admit, I'm more than a little nervous about it. I, um, I may not like school, you know. I haven't been in a classroom since I was little.
Yukiko (to Victor): That's true... But, this isn't such a bad place to try it out. And, you're not married to it, you don't have to keep going if you find that you hate it. Mars & I both don't have too terribly long before we graduate, so who knows? ... Then, I have no idea what I'm going to do.
Victor (to Yukiko): You'll figure it out. You're more than slightly brilliant, you know.
Yukiko (to Victor): Heh. That's sweet of you to say, but I know you're incredibly biased... not that I'm complaining in the slightest... Can I ask you a slightly odd question, Victor?
Victor (to Yukiko): I am terribly biased. What is it?
Yukiko (to Victor): You're not going to school & staying on this side just because of me, are you?
Victor (to Yukiko): No. Heh. You're obviously a very large part of the equation, but I've always wanted a place that I felt like I belonged to. Even though my father hasn't lived here in years, this was his home, & my mom has Aunt Molly and Uncle Bernard & her family on the other side. We moved around so much growing up, I didn't feel like I had roots anyplace. But, here, I've got you, and Zoe and Nate are safer here than on the other side. Heh. I'm not saying I'm going to miss the pirating, heh, & in truth, I'll probably jump at the chance to help my parents if they ask.
Yukiko (to Victor): Okay, I just didn't want you doing it just for me... And, I'd still like to go back after school is done, if it's at all possible. I do like it here a lot, but Britannia is still my home. There are parts that I miss... Of course, there are also parts that I don't.
Victor (to Yukiko): That's how my mom feels too. Heh. I'm not sure where I belong yet. But, then again, I'm a skipper. Maybe I don't belong to any one place.
Yukiko (to Victor): Well, not to be all hokey, but I think you belong here with me. At least, until you get bored with me. :-P
Victor (to Yukiko): Heh. I'm not concerned I'll get bored with you.
Yukiko (to Victor): That's because you only know the exciting me. Just wait until you see domestic, boring homebody me. You'll be running for the hills, longing for the adventure in no time. :-P
Victor (to Yukiko): *You've* never seen me in some random undershirt or t-shirt in the kitchen cooking. All my allure will be gone.
Yukiko (to Victor): Heehee, is it weird that I'm actually looking forward to that?
Victor (to Yukiko): Yes! I had no idea I'd agreed to live with such a freak. :-P
Yukiko (to Victor): Heehee... So, does that mean you're not going to fix me dinner in a random t-shirt, tonight?
Victor (to Yukiko): Do you *want* me to?
Yukiko (to Victor): Well, I should probably know what I'm getting myself into… but I promised Mars that I would make sushi tonight. So, you're off the hook.
Victor (to Yukiko): Heh. Well, you're not going to get anything that impressive out of me. Whenever you get a hankering for something simple like beef stew. I'll steal one of Nate's rags that passes for a shirt, and we'll do it properly.
Yukiko (to Victor): Heehee, don't be that impressed about my sushi making, I'm just making nigiri. It's basically a rice square with fish on it. So... can I interest you in a tour of campus & then, possibly a movie on the couch?
Victor (to Yukiko): I think perhaps I could be persuaded.
Yukiko (to Victor): Wonderful... I'll go grab my shoes... Or you could just follow me & we can forget the whole leaving the apartment thing. As I just realized Mars has gone & she's not back until 7pm.
Victor (to Yukiko): Oh? Well, I have already seen the campus. This proposal seems much more interesting somehow...
At the Longfellow Inn, New London, Britannia:
Percy (to Persephone & Aiden): Sweet Jesus, are you trying to make me commit suicide with all this heterosexual makeouts, sweeties?
Persephone (to Percy): Yes, Percy, that is our master plan. Whatever are we to do now?
Percy (to Persephone & Aiden): Well, you could get your butts back inside. Your mother wants you to taste a couple of cakes.
Persephone (to Percy): Oh... We'll be right in, then... (to Aiden) You might want to make your escape now, sweetheart.
Aiden (to Persephone): Oh... If that's alright with you.
Persephone (to Aiden): Yes, there's no sense in both of us suffering. I'll see you later, alright?
Aiden (to Persephone): Yes, of course.
A couple hours later, at Poppy & Vincent's apartment, West Piedmont:
Vincent (to Nathaniel & Zoe): HELLO, MY LUNG-BLACKENING FAMILY MEMBERS! Are you two out here sucking the white dick of death?
Nathaniel (to Vincent): JESUS Christ! Uncle Vincent! You scared the shit out of me!
Zoe (to Vincent): Yes, father, I figure that I've already had several turns at being healthy, so this time around I'm a smoker.
Vincent (to Zoe): Good heavens! Where on earth did you learn such snark? Certainly not from me. It must be your mother. (to Nathaniel & Zoe) Come with me, children. You two are getting your first driving lesson today.
Zoe (to Vincent): Oh, shi-- I mean, shoot.
Nathaniel (to Vincent): But, um, I have work tonight. I should, uh, go get ready.
Vincent (to Nathaniel & Zoe): No if's, and's, or but's, kiddo 1 and kiddo 2. Honestly, you two chased us into Britannia, & THIS scares you?
Zoe (to Vincent): Well yes, I'm familiar with what's going to happen to me in Britannia. I'll die... Cars & other drivers freak me out.
Vincent (to Nathaniel & Zoe): Come on.
A short time later:
Vincent (to Nathaniel & Zoe): And since I've got you both trapped in the car & you're both going to be dating boys, we'll have The Sex Talk.
Zoe (to Vincent): But... I'm not having sex. Besides, I know all about it. I gave you the talk... Well, I mean I didn't but, I remember it.
Vincent (to Nathaniel & Zoe): I'm assuming neither one of you are, and I'm guessing you both know the ins & outs of the mechanics, but we still worry about you're being safe and sane. BOTH of you. And believe it or not, some things HAVE changed in 21 years.
Nathaniel (to Vincent): You made that in and out pun on purpose, didn't you.
Zoe (to Vincent & Nathaniel): Dear god... This is SO weird. (to Nathaniel) If I throw myself out of the car... just know that you were my best friend.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Trust me. I won't be far behind.
Vincent (to Nathaniel): Nate, you're on deck. Don't look terrified, hun. You'll do fine. (to Nathaniel & Zoe) Honestly, I'm not trying to embarrass either of you, but I thought it would only be fair to let you know what Poppy and I expect, or--more accurately--what we HOPE for you. I know Nate has been given TERRIBLE advice. (to Nathaniel) Ease up on the clutch a bit there, hun. You've got to romance her.
Nathaniel (to Vincent): Oh SHIT!
Zoe (to Vincent & Nathaniel): Heehee, if it was a boy, he'd know how to do that much better.
Vincent (to Nathaniel): Calm down. You've just stalled out. You're doing fine. There is almost nothing you can do to this car I can't fix. (to Zoe & Nathaniel) Hee hee. Well, you can call the Impala "Dean" if you think it would help. :-P
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Laugh it up, Morticia. You're next.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Do you think that's an insult, Sam? You probably don't get that reference, but clearly Dad does. Heh.
Nathaniel (to Zoe & Vincent): I get it. I've seen A LOT of old TV shows. There wasn't much else I was allowed to do in the hospital.
Vincent (to Zoe & Nathaniel): Hee hee. Why do you think I bought this Impala? (to Nathaniel) Take this next right. Relax! You're doing great.
Zoe (to Vincent): Heh. Mouse wanted you to get a sensible car... But, I think it's cool.
Nathaniel (to Vincent): I can NOT imagine you owning anything sensible.
Zoe (to Nathaniel & Vincent): Heehee, Vincent has never owned anything sensible. He has allergies.
Vincent (to Zoe & Nathaniel): Hush, you. Honestly, she's more sensible than she seems. I converted it to bio-diesel YEARS ago, and I can do most of the maintenance on her.
Zoe (to Vincent): Well, aren't you Mister Greenjeans?
Vincent (to Zoe): Heh. Aren't I just? You're up, kiddo.
Zoe (to Vincent): Oh, really? ... But, Nate is doing so well. Are you sure?
Vincent (to Zoe): And you'll do just as well. Come on, hun. Front seat. I could discuss sex with you again AT LENGTH. :-P
Zoe (to Vincent): Sure... Whatcha need to know?
Vincent (to Zoe): Well, when I get your mother REALLY excited, she makes this little squeaky noise and I'm wondering...
Nathaniel (to Zoe & Vincent): HOLY SHIT! JUST GET IN THE FRONT SEAT!
Zoe (to Vincent & Nathaniel): Fine... Geez, it wasn't like I was going to answer or anything... Even, if I knew the answer. I mean, if he hasn't figured it out by now after all this time. There's not really an hope for him.
Vincent (to Zoe): Hee hee. Somehow I think I'll survive living in ignorance. Hop on up, hun.
Zoe (to Vincent): Okay... But, I should just apologize first for anything that I might do horribly wrong.
Vincent (to Zoe): There's nothing you can do that can't be fixed, sweetie. You'll do just fine.
Zoe (to Vincent): You say that now...
A few minutes later:
Vincent (to Zoe): You're doing fine. You have to hit the clutch before you switch gears, hun...
Zoe (to Vincent): I know, I know.
Vincent (to Zoe): Zoe, relax. You're doing just fine. You're thinking too much about it.
Zoe (to Vincent): ... Tell Grumblepants to stop laughing at me & then, I'll relax.
Vincent (to Nathaniel): Nate, you're not helping.
Nathaniel (to Vincent & Zoe): Sorry.
A short time later:
Zoe (to Nathaniel & Vincent): ... God. I need a drink & a smoke after all of this.
Vincent (to Zoe & Nathaniel): I'll forgive you two a cigarette, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait until you can parallel park to get booze. You both did fine. Calm down. I'm sure you've both had enough of me for the evening.
Zoe (to Nathaniel & Vincent): Well, at least, I have a goal to strive for. :-P (to Vincent) Thank you for the driving lesson, Daddy!
Vincent (to Zoe): Heh. There's no need to be creepy about it, sweetie. You two will learn to drive a car yet. :-P
Nathaniel (to Zoe & Vincent): If you two are through being weird, I'm gonna grab a cigarette.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): I'll come with you. (to Vincent) Thank you, thank you. I really do mean it.
Vincent (to Zoe & Nathaniel): Don't thank me just yet. You two WILL learn to drive a car, mark my words.
Nathaniel (to Vincent): Um, yeah. If you say so.
A moment later:
Nathaniel (to Zoe): How you doing?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Hush for a second... I'm enjoying this sweet, sweet cigarette.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. So sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt you two.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Thank you... God, can you believe Dad with all that sex talk? Geez.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Oh Jesus God... Please. I'm trying to *really* hard to suppress that memory right now.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Sorry.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): It was alright. ... I guess it was nice of him to try to, uh... whatever what it was he was trying to do. I couldn't shake the feeling he was shaking us down for info, though.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Heh. You've got a good instinct. He totally was.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Yeah. Thought so. Aunt Poppy was doing the same thing last night. She asked me some loaded ass question about being glad I had my "hidey hole" back from Aiden.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Heehee, so I take it you didn't tell her anything, huh?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. No. I asked her if she thought I should go into therapy.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Oooo, nice deflection... You do realize they're going to keep hounding us?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Yeah... Jesus. What the fuck am I supposed to say?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Heehee, just tell them that you totally fucked Persephone's husband... Even, if you didn't. It would make them shut up. :-P
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Really? You think that would make them shut up? Somehow I doubt that.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): No, probably not.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Dodging and evading it is, then.
Meanwhile:
Poppy (to Vincent): Honey, did you have a nice time tormenting the children?
Vincent (to Poppy): I wasn't torturing them. Much. Hee hee. They both did quite well. Zoe kept grinding the gears whenever she shifted, but only because she was nervous, I think. And I gave them both a "stern" talking to about sex, love and dating. Much to their dismay.
Poppy (to Vincent): Heehee, I love it when you're all authoritative, lover. Do you think something is going on that should concern us?
Vincent (to Poppy): There's definitely something going on that they're not telling us about, but whether it's something we should worry about, or just general teenage caginess, I'm not sure. I think the best we can hope for is if that it's something serious, and they need help, they'll come to us.
Poppy (to Vincent): Fingers crossed then, lover.
