At Poppy & Vincent's apartment, West Piedmont:
Nathaniel: Shit fucking cocksucker! How do I not realize I'm outta damn cigarettes 'til I'm out?
An hour or so later, outside of the Smoke Stack, West Piedmont:
Nathaniel (to Eep): Hey there, tall and dark. Could y'all do me a favor and pick me up... Oh shit! Um, sorry, Mr. Estevez. I didn't recognize you.
Eep (to Nathaniel): Heh. Yeah. I gathered. What's up? What do you need?
Nathaniel (to Eep): Oh. Um, nothing. It was... Shit. I was trying to con someone going into the store to pick me up a pack of cigarettes.
Eep (to Nathaniel): Heh heh. Hence the sweet, southern boy routine, huh? Sure. Whadya smoke? Just, uh, don't tell my wife.
Nathaniel (to Eep): Um, Camels; Turkish Gold if they have it, just the regular Wides if not.
Eep (to Nathaniel): The Wides? Jesus Christ, kid. You're too young to be inhaling that much tar. Be right back... Here you go. They had the Turkish ones. It's an art school town, you know? I think you can get just about any brand here.
Nathaniel (to Eep): Thanks. How much do I owe you?
Eep (to Nathaniel): Don't worry about it. You alright? You look like shit.
Nathaniel (to Eep): I'm... Wait. You don't really wanna know, do you? I'm about to spill my guts all over you, like I did to your daughter and you're gonna hate it.
Eep (to Nathaniel): Heh. You spilled your guts to Marlena? Yeah. She would have hated the shit outta that. I wouldn't have bothered asking if I didn't wanna know, but I'm not gonna make you talk if you don't wanna. I know; I'm your boss's husband and old as shit.
Nathaniel (to Eep): I've just got a lot on my mind. Zoe's got a crush on me, and I don't know what the fuck to do about it. Trying to act normal around her just seems to make things worse... I know I'm not the nicest guy in the fucking world, but I don't wanna hurt her, you know? I feel like I ought to go someplace else, but I don't got anyplace else to go. And to top all that off, I got a date tonight, and I just don't know what the fuck to do about it...
Eep (to Nathaniel): Whoa. Calm down, Nate. Uh, there, there. It'll be alright. You're not as big a dick as you like to pretend you are. You don't wanna hurt Zoe. That counts for something, you know. Don't worry too much about it. She's a teenage girl with her first crush. She's gonna be irrational. Cut her some fucking slack, and let her figure it out. As for the date. Go on it and fucking relax. I know you think you're fucking awful, but hate to break it to you, you're not. You deserve to have a good time, alright? And seriously, calm the fuck down.
Nathaniel (to Eep): Heh. Yeah. Alright. Thanks. Sorry. For all the... you know. Getting all emotional and shit.
Eep (to Nathaniel): Yeah. Well, I asked, didn't I? I need to get to work. I'll see you around.
Nathaniel (to Eep): Bye.
On the Piedmont School of Arts & Science campus, West Piedmont:
Yukiko: What the hell is going on out here!?! Oh! (to Marlena) Mars, what are you doing here?
Marlena (to Yukiko): Put down that pig-sticker, Yoyo... I'm just moving my stuff into my room. I assume it's this one, right?
Yukiko (to Marlena): Oh yes, I hope you don't mind that I took the one with more windows. I wanted to get some plants.
Marlena (to Yukiko): No, it's perfect, that way I only need one curtain... Oof... you don't have to hug me, you know?
Yukiko (to Marlena): Shut up & take it.
Several hours later, at Poppy & Vincent's apartment, West Piedmont:
Nathaniel: Holy shit. Holy mother Mary fucking shit... I don't... I have no idea what to think. (to Zoe) This isn't a dream, is it? Pinch me.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Huh? What? What's going on?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): I got a voicemail. From my father. He said he hoped I was still doing OK, and that he... I can't say it. This is clearly a lucid dream, and if I say it, I'll wake up.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Nate, calm down... What did he say?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): I'm calm. I'm calm. I'm just in shock. He said he was sorry. I can't every, EVER remember him apologizing to me. For anything. What other weird shit is going to happen today? Maybe I should play the fucking lottery or something. The universe is clearly off balance.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Are you going to call him back?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): No, I... No. I don't think I can. Not right now. I think I need some time away from my parents for a while. That makes me sound like a dick, doesn't it? I just can't. I'm afraid if I talk to them right now, I'll just end up going home.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Oh... Why would you do that? I mean, you made it sound pretty awful.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): It... it wasn't good, but it wasn't daily beatings horrible. It just wasn't very healthy. I... I don't know. Heh. This isn't the first time I ran away, you know. It's the furthest I've ever gone, and the longest I've been gone, but... the same thing happened the last coupla times too. My dad would call, and we'd talk, he'd promise things would be different. I KNOW things aren't gonna be different, but all I can keep thinking is, "he's NEVER said he's sorry before." I'm an idiot.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): No, you're not an idiot. It's not surprising you want your dad to say something nice to you. It just makes you human. I bet there's a reason for the call. I mean, he didn't call you at the holidays to apologize or ask for you to come home, then… So, why now all of a sudden? I bet there's a reason.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. You're just as cynical and suspicious as I am. There might be a reason. Or maybe enough time has passed, and I haven't been dropped off by the cops, or called them from the jail, or called asking for money that they've finally started worrying. Hey, um, would it be easier for you if I found someplace else to live? Don't worry. I don't mean Mississippi. I mean just someplace else. It's a college town. Someone's bound to need a roommate, right?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Why would you want to live somewhere else? ... Oh... It's because of me. Look, I'll get over it. I promise. Please don't go. You're my best friend, Nate. I know, I'm being an idiot with the whole crush thing, but I'm dealing with it. It's not your fault... I'll try to keep my mouth shut about it from now on, okay?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): You don't have to keep your mouth shut. I just... I don't wanna end up hurting your feelings or anything. And I don't think you're an idiot. I just don't know how to cope with feelings. :-P
Zoe (to Nathaniel): I know & I appreciate what you're doing. I really will get over it... I think what I really need is a date with a boy who actually likes girls and possibly, me specifically. :-P
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. If you say so. I've got one, and I'm ready to shit my pants. You've got lady-type friends. Get them to help you. Christ, I just realized; I've never been on an actual date-date before... Oh, this is gonna be interesting alright.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): You'll be fine, you big grumpy chicken.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. I may be texting you in a panic tonight asking you to remind me of that. Over, and over, and over again...
Zoe (to Nathaniel): And, I'll keep telling you the same thing... Just relax.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. Mars's dad told me the same thing earlier when he bought me cigarettes. Jesus. You know I totally started flirting with him this afternoon before I realized who he was?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Heehee... That must have been weird.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Yeah, WAY fucking weird. I was trying to get someone to buy me cigarettes. Fortunately, he realized what I was doing. Yeah. He told me not to tell my aunt. It was still awkward, though. Not as awkward as when I started running at the mouth. I don't know what it is about him and Mars, but I can't keep my fucking mouth shut around them.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Heehee, so he bought you smokes, huh? Heh... It's probably because they seem safe.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Yeah. I guess so. Mr. Estevez is like one of a handful of men I can think of who doesn't utterly weird me out. Heh. Probably because he seems so genuinely disinterested in everything.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): That's because you've probably never seen him & the missus alone... I have some very vivid memories of that... Oh, sorry... That was probably way more information than I needed to share.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Wow. Now, THAT has to be weird.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Yes, yes it is.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): "Hey, Mr. Estevez. I know what you look like naked 20 years ago. How're you?" I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye. Oh Jesus. I'm sorry. That was a dick thing to say. Shit...
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Yeah, it was... Ass.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Sorry.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Whatever... Have fun on your date. I'm going to my room.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Wait. Zoe! I'm really sorry! I didn't mean... I just fucking opened my mouth, and... Shit. I am a fucking moron. Great.
A few hours later, near the campus, West Piedmont:
Nathaniel: Christ... What a fucking waste of time that was. This is why I shouldn't be allowed near other human beings.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Hey there, tough guy, fancy running into you here... What's with the face?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Don't ask unless you really wanna know. We already know I can't keep my mouth shut, and I feel like a big enough moron today. No. Scratch that. I AM a moron. A huge fucking moron...
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Oh, right... Tonight was the date with Oliver. What? Oliver mentioned it to me. So, it didn't go well, huh?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): The phrase, crash and burn comes to mind. I was already stupidly anxious before I went & then right before I left, I said something to really upset Zoe, because I don't fucking think before I open my goddamn mouth. So, no. Didn't go well.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Oh... That's too bad, I guess... What the fuck did you say to Zoe?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Trust me. You don't wanna know.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Oh... Fine, don't tell me.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): It was about your dad. Still wanna know? And before you get defensive, it wasn't anything derogatory.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Oh, was it something about the fact that she remembers my mom's relationship with him? Doesn't really surprise me. Hiiri had all mom's memories, too. Why'd you say it right before your date?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): I didn't do it on purpose! If I had *thought* before I opened my damn fool mouth, I wouldn't have said anything at all.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Heh... I think you were nervous about the date & you subconsciously sabotaged yourself.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Pfft. Probably. It's been a weird fucking day. My father called and left a message on my phone, which probably didn't help.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Sounds like you need river therapy... Come with me.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): You pretend you're mud? I'm missing something...
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Don't worry, it's nothing weird. There's a bench in this tiny park overlooking the river that I like to hideout in & just watch the river & pretend that I'm mud. It'll be good for you. It helps me empty my brain for a little while. It sounds like you could use some of that. If you don't want to fucking do it, you don't have to… My mom used to take me when I was having a rough time of it. And, I still come here from time to time to think about stuff or to not think about things, as the case may be.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Oh. Yeah. I'll give it a shot. God fucking knows being able to turn off my brain would be nice sometimes...
A short time later:
Nathaniel (to Marlena): I don't remember the last time I just sat somewhere. I had one therapist who tried to teach me, you know, breathing techniques and meditation and shit. She got pulled off my case before I could really give it a go. Might've helped. And I am fucking running at the mouth again. Sorry.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Heh... It's okay... Here, we are. Hold on, while I climb over the wall & unlock the gate. I didn't expect to be coming over here or I would have had my "key".
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Need a boost? Heh. So what's the key? A crowbar or a lockpick?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Yeah, sure. No funny business... I'm just kidding.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Yeah. You caught me. The gay thing is all a front so I can get close to girls. Ready? One... Two... UP!
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Oof... Here, we are... It's a screwdriver. It's an old lock. Mom only brought me here during the day but when I realized I liked it & the place was locked at night, I made myself a key out of it.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Heh. We used to used butter knives and paperclips to break into places back home. Christ. I think I was "escorted" home by the cops four or five times for trespassing.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): I could have done that, I suppose but I wanted something sturdy & easily hidden. Mom would have noticed a missing butter knife. Heh. I thought you had the air of a petty criminal about you.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): One count of straight trespassing, two counts trespassing and vandalism and two counts of possession.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): … Here's the bench... Whatcha think?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Wow. This is... This is really nice. So now what? We become one with the mud?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Heh, yeah... Just sit & watch the water for a minute... Then, when you're ready, take 10 long deep breaths... On the tenth exhale close your eyes & just relax.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Alright. Let's give it a whirl.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): And, just do it for as long as you feel comfortable. There's no wrong way to do it.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Sure. Alright...
A few moments later:
Marlena: Heh. I totally wish I had brought my sketch pad with me.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): I think I've got a pen and notepad in my jacket. Want it?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Oh yeah, thanks... I didn't realize I said that out loud... How you feel?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Here you go. I don't think I quite achieved muddiness, but a little less like there's a damned riot in my skull. And vaguely like I might cry. Jesus Christ...
Marlena (to Nathaniel): We can sit here longer, if you'd like. I've got nowhere to be, at the moment.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Apparently, if you chemically turn off your emotions too long they come back with inappropriate vengeance.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Yeah, I remember when a doctor tried to put me on lithium, my parents were livid. It was right before they pulled me out of school & set me up with my tutor, Lulu.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Christ. Lithium is some *nasty* fucking shit. Every time I had a "mental break," they'd slap me on that. Why'd you get pulled out of school?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): I was bored & kept getting caught taking things apart. I'd put them back together again as different things. My teachers were worried because I didn't socialize with the other kids & kept to myself. I also drew scary ass pictures about my time in New London with Hiiri. They thought there was something wrong with me... Mom had some pretty choice words on the subject. When mom & dad realized what was going on, they got me the hell out of there.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Heh. You were literally too smart for the room, huh? Can't say I know how that feels. Between missing a shit load of classes, and my "behavioral issues," I was held back a couple grades. I think I'm technically a sophomore. :-P
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Gimme a fucking break. You're clearly smart. You not only managed to get yourself all the way here on your own, but you figured out how to track down Uncle Vincent & Mom says you've been doing great at the coffeehouse. You should just take your GED & then, figure out what the hell you want to do, rather than wasting your time with high school.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): It wasn't like any of that shit was hard, you know, but thanks for setting the bar so low. Heh! I'm just kidding! Retire the scowl. It's not a bad idea. I'll think about it. Thanks. For tonight, I mean.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): No problem... I hate seeing someone torture themselves for no apparent reason. And, no offense, but you may want to figure out what you want from Zoe. I know you don't want to fuck her, but you two have a bit of a weird co-dependent relationship. And, you're going to both end up getting hurt if you're not careful.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Yeah... When she first showed up, I guess we kind bonded fast and tight because we both felt like fucking, weirdo outsiders, but now that she's not afraid she's gonna get tossed out in the street, I think she'll start branching out and opening up.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Yeah, but what about you? How are you going to feel about that when she does?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): I won't pitch a fit, if that's what you mean. Yeah. It was nice having someone who enjoyed my company, without me having to bullshit them. I'm not gonna lie. God knows my ego needed the boost, you know? But it got real fucking weird, real fucking fast. I don't wanna hurt her or fuck her up, so as soon as I can afford it. I'll start looking for someplace else to live.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Hmmm... I have no idea whether that's a good idea or not, but at least you've got a plan. Let's get out of here, you need to get home before Poppy & Vincent start to worry. And, I still have some unpacking to do in my new place.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Yeah. Heh. At this point, who knows what the fuck will happen? I'd planned to stay here no more than 3 to 5 days. Tops. Seems like all my best-laid schemes gang aft agley...
