Marlena: Fat Christ... who came into my room and opened the fucking curtains?
Victor (to Marlena): Hello? Mars? Are you awake yet? Your mother let me in...
Marlena (to Victor): Hey, Victor... I'm up, but just barely. I stayed up too late painting... Oh shit, that looks fucking awful.
Victor (to Marlena): What? You're far too critical. It looks fine to me. Yoyo asked me to stop by and see how you were feeling. She said she wasn't sure if you would want to see her just yet.
Marlena (to Victor): Yeah, I'm fine, I guess. I mean, I just found out my best friend lied to me about a lot of things, but I'll get over it. Are you okay? She told me she broke up with you & she was on her way to grovel... I take it it worked.
Victor (to Marlena): I don't know how much she needed to grovel, truth be told. Heh. Which sounds rather pathetic out loud, doesn't it? Are you sure you're alright? I've been raised around spies, thieves & liars. I feel that perhaps my perspective on these kinds of things is hopelessly skewed.
Marlena (to Victor): Yeah, I'll be fine... I've grown up with you guys. I should be used to crazy fucked up shit by now. I guess, it's still hard for me to wrap my head around Yoyo being from Britannia & then, to find out all of this on top of it. I just need a little time to think it all through. You can tell her I'll be over to the apartment tomorrow or the day after.
Victor (to Marlena): I will. I don't know if this will help, but from what I know from my mom, when agents are in deep cover, like Yoyo was, they don't change their personalities. That would be far too difficult to maintain. I mean, not usually. And most of the time, the backstories they create are the people they'd really like to be if they'd ever had the opportunity. Yoyo hasn't had many options to make her own decision. Her mother trained her as Kuniochi since she was a child, and going to work for the Royal Guard was part of her parents' clemency deal. I think taking up photography, becoming friends with you and dating me are the only choices she's ever made for herself.
Marlena (to Victor): Hmmm... Did Yoyo really ask you to come over here? Or did you decide to do it on your own, short stack?
Victor (to Marlena): She was concerned you hated her now that you knew the truth. I may have *implied* that meant she wanted me to check on you. And I was concerned about you myself. Zoe was ready to get into a fight with Yoyo the other night, and I thought you would be feeling more than a bit betrayed. She is your best friend. I know me sucking up all her time was uncomfortable enough.
Marlena (to Victor): Look, I don't hate her... I am still upset, though. And after everything, she's still my best friend & roommate. Okay?
Victor (to Marlena): Heh. Alright. Alright. No need to break out your most intimidating glare. I'm sorry I thought you might be upset. Did you know you're rubbish at having people worry about you?
Marlena (to Victor): Why? Because I'm not crying my eyes out?
Victor (to Marlena): No, because you became visibly defensive & upset when I said I was concerned about you. I didn't mean to insult you.
Marlena (to Victor): You didn't insult me, Victor... I guess, I'm a little embarrassed that you've already forgiven her & I'm still sulking.
Victor (to Marlena): It's alright to sulk, you know. I thought I could add some insight to the whole thing because of my mom. I've been dealing with spies for a long time. They are an, um, interesting lot. You should meet Aunt Margeaux; she gave me a stiletto when I turned 5... At any rate, I shouldn't have assumed that you might be having trouble coming to terms with all this. And, honestly, I think I'm just immensely relieved that she wanted to break up with me because she's a spy.
Marlena (to Victor): Oh... Like, she would break up with you for any other reason.
Victor (to Marlena): Heh. In my defense, I wasn't sure, was I? It's not as though my family is the safest group with which to associate.
Marlena (to Victor): Yes, but she's crazy about you, even I can tell.
Victor (to Marlena): Heh. I know, and very I'm glad for it. I'm mad about her as well. More than mad, honestly, I love her. Good heavens. I'm sorry. I'm being a sap.
Marlena (to Victor): Heh... I wasn't sure if you were actually going to admit that.
Victor (to Marlena): Heh. Well, I'm not sure I can deny it at this point.
Marlena (to Victor): So, not to change the subject, but have you talked to Seph, recently?
Victor (to Marlena): No, not recently. I haven't spoken to her since I last was at the Inn. I *do* know a bit of gossip about her. Why?
Marlena (to Victor): I was just wondering. I haven't heard from her in awhile... what kind of gossip?
Victor (to Marlena): Well, Yoyo told me Seph has a date with Aiden. Knowing what I know now, if it were anyone else besides my cousin, I'd worry.
Marlena (to Victor): Oh... Is that the same Aiden that Zoe has a crush on?
Victor (to Marlena): That would be the one. He's Yoyo's handler with the Imperial Guard, apparently.
Marlena (to Victor): Heh... So, Seph is going to have to deal with Zoe, if they start dating... That should be amusing.
Victor (to Marlena): Oh god... Or terrible. Don't be too hard on Zoe. She's trying really hard to be her own person. It gets confusing for her.
Marlena (to Victor): Heh... I know. I actually like her a lot & it's kinda like watching my mom when she was a kid.
Victor (to Marlena): Really? She would be thrilled to hear that. Heh. I promise I won't tell her. Oh shoot! I should get home.
Marlena (to Victor): You can tell her, I don't care... I'm not Nate.
Victor (to Marlena): Ha ha ha! Thank goodness for that. I'm not sure this reality could handle two Nates. Heh. I've got to go.
Marlena (to Victor): Okay, I'll see you later... and, thanks, Victor, for coming to check on me.
Victor (to Marlena): It wasn't any trouble. Let me know if you need anything. I'll see you later.
Several hours later, at Poppy & Vincent's apartment, West Piedmont:
Nathaniel (to Zoe): What in the name of God's Balls are you smoking?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Are you fucking blind? It's a pipe, obviously... Poppy told me that I needed to stop smoking cigarettes, today. So, I did.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Yeah. Cause taking up smoking a corn cob pipe is *clearly* what she meant. Warn me when you break that out in front of her, Huck Finn, cause I wanna be out of the state.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Why, there ain't no end to your airs! Here, you are givin' me all sorts of sass...
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Well, Hell's bells, chil', bless your heart! You're just gonna try to out south me til it hairlip's Rachel, ain't you?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): ... I have no idea what any of that means.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): It means what it means. Heh. You can quote Huck Finn at me all you want, but I can out colloquialism you any day. :-P
Zoe (to Nathaniel): ... You are an ass.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Gracious! Bless your heart, ain't you just the *spunkiest* lil' thing? Jesus! OK! OK! I'm sorry! I'll stop being so southern fried, alright?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Well, you're in quite the mood. What's up with you, Grumplestiltskin? Do you need a manpon for your mangina?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): No. I've missed my man-period, and I'm worried I might be man-pregnant.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Oh? Maybe, you should stop having man-sex.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): But I haven't had any man-sex. Oh dear god... I think I might be carrying the *gay messiah*!
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Ummm, I hate to break it to you, but don't you have to be a virgin to be carrying the 'gay messiah'?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Shit. Guess I'm just a slut then. Ride with me to the abortion clinic? We can pick up a case of smokes and liquor on the way.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Awww, I think we should keep it & then, you can manufacture me a freakshow... We'll be rich.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Will you help me feed the baby? We'll need two bottles. One for its normal mouth, and a second one for its neck mouth. It's horrible neck mouth!
Zoe (to Nathaniel): ... Can we call it Nubbins?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Well, when the pediatrician catches sight if its horribly malformed appendages, I don't think we'll have a choice. You realize there is a WHOLE internet fetish for this kind of thing, right?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): HOLY FUCKING FAT CHRIST! We are going to filthy fucking rich!
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Been there, done that, thanks. This one guy offered me 200 bucks to stick a pillow up my shirt and pretend I was pregnant... Uh, that was probably a little TMI, wasn't it?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Only, if you actually did it... You didn't do it, did you?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): No! I do have SOME standards, you know. Not many. But some.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Heh... I'll give you a pack of smokes if you do it right now, just for me.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Please. I don't have to prostitute myself that low for a pack of cigarettes. Don't get me wrong I still have to be a whore, but not THAT big a whore. All I have to do is run a hand through my hair, and ask some passingly lonely soul real dang nice to buy me one.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): ... Oh... um... I'm going to go to my room, now...
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Yeah, yeah. Go the fuck on! Like you'd fall for that phony bullshit. You're smarter than that.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): ... Uh huh... Yeah, I'm real fucking smart... I'm a fucking dope.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Shit... What did I do now?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): You didn't do anything... You're fine. It's just me. If I was so smart, I'd stop talking about that sort of stuff with you... It just ends poorly for me.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Oh. Yeah. Right. I'm sorry, I just kinda forgot... Oh Christ! I didn't mean it like that! I just... I mean, I'm not-- not… Fuck! I am not fucking helping my case here. I'm sorry.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): It's okay, Nate... It's not your fault. I'm the fucking idiot who can't seem to get it through my thick skull.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): No, I should be more aware. I know it means jack, but I am sorry. I'm just... It's not like I really know what to do here. God, I--I'm just fucking lost with this shit. I'll be better in the future, alright?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): ... You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around me. I'm sorry... I should go to bed & get out of your hair.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): That's not what I fucking meant! No. No, I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow.
Zoe (to Victor): Good night, Victor... Thanks for playing that board game with me earlier.
Victor (to Zoe): You're welcome. Are you feeling alright? You look upset.
Zoe (to Victor): ... It's nothing. I'm just an idiot & feeling sorry for myself.
Victor (to Zoe): I would hardly say you're an idiot, little sister. Have you met other people? ... That was a joke, you know.
Zoe (to Victor): I know... Thank you... Victor? Have you ever liked someone that likes you but not in the same way that you like them? I mean, I know logically that he's never going to like me the same way, but when he talks to me slightly suggestively it makes some part of me thinks there's a slim chance... It's very confusing.
Victor (to Zoe): Oh. Heh. I can understand completely. Do you want to sit down? You can have my cuppa. I haven't had any of it yet.
Zoe (to Victor): Oh, no thank you.
Victor (to Zoe): And yes, I've longed for someone who didn't want me. Her name was Colleen, and I was convinced, UTTERLY convinced, I was in love with her, and would never, ever, ever love anyone else as long as my lungs could draw breath. I pined, I wailed and lamented, and I wondered why she would never love me the way I "loved" her. I sent poems, flowers, and god knows whatever other sappy tributes of my affection. I think she liked the attention, and the fact that her parents didn't approve, but eventually, it all wore thin, and she asked me to stop contacting her.
Zoe (to Victor): What happened? What did you do to get over her?
Victor (to Zoe): It took me a while, but I eventually realized I was more enamored with the idea of Colleen, and of having someone like me, than I was with the actual girl, and that in an honest relationship, she would be as interested in me as I was her.
Zoe (to Victor): Oh... That must have been difficult for you.
Victor (to Zoe): It was awful! Keep in mind, despite all this "insight," it took an intense amount of time for me to realize this. :-P
Zoe (to Victor): I bet... And, I know that I'll get over him eventually. It's just so frustrating, sometimes. I would like to be done with it now, but it just keeps lingering & then he says or does something & I'm back where I started.
Victor (to Zoe): I'll bet. I wish I had a suggestion about how you could make that happen sooner. What if you punched him every time he said something suggestive that made you uncomfortable?
Zoe (to Victor): Heh... I may have to try that.
Victor (to Zoe): Heh. Even if it doesn't work, it might make you feel less frustrated. You're welcome. It's what I'm here for.
Zoe (to Victor): Thank you, big brother. I should really head off to bed, mo-- Poppy wants to teach me some things in the morning.
Victor (to Zoe): Heh. You're going to need all the sleep you can get. And, you know you can call them "Mom" & "Dad" if you want? It's, honestly, quite alright. It doesn't bother me, and I don't think Mom and Dad would mind.
Zoe (to Victor): I can? I was worried that would be weird... Mom & Dad. Heehee, I never had those before.
Victor (to Zoe): In case you haven't noticed, we've all become quite fond of you, including Yoyo and Mars. I'm afraid you're family now. ;-)
Zoe (to Victor): Heehee, I think I can live with that. 'night.
Zoe (to Victor): Oh, you say that as if you had a choice. Hee hee. Good night; pleasant dreams!
