Marlena: God, if I get anymore merry on me, I'm gonna be sick. I need a cigarette.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Hey Stretch, wanna cigarette?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Fuck yeah, I do. Do you think it's safe to take off this damn hat? It's itchy and hot.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): It's something. I say we "accidentally" set it on fire. What is it with this family and stupid ass hats?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Because, there's a saying in this family... 'There's always a hat.' It has something to do with a job my Dad had when my parents were first dating. It's fucking annoying.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Heh. Yeah more than a little bit. You're not a huge fan of the holidays are you?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): The holidays are okay. It's just the family gets so gung-ho about it & like to pretend we're normal. It's weird. Why are you hiding out here?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): I'm smoking, and hiding from hats. That sounds believable, right?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Not even in the slightest... Here, I got this for you. I didn't want to give it to you in front of the parents.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Oh. Uh, thanks. You didn't have to get me anything.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): I know... Don't get all emotional. I've had enough tears for one holiday. It's no big deal, I saw it & thought you'd like it.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Wow. I, uh, I do. Don't worry. I'm not gonna start bawling all over you. Who was crying?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Yoyo. She was feeling homesick about the holidays.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Oh. Yeah. Makes sense. Even when they're fuckers, your family is still your family.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Yep. So, how you holding up?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Honestly? Shitty, but better than I would have been at home.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Is it the holiday getting to you or something else?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Getting to me? Come on. I've been behaving.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Yeah, you've been downright docile, it was my first clue. Don't worry, I'm not going to bug you about it. I was just asking.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): I had a bad night the other day.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Oh... That sucks.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Yeah. Kinda. Lucky everyone else. I'm surprised Yoyo didn't tell you about it. Or did she?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Nope. Your freak out is a complete mystery to me.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Heh. Yeah. I'll bet. How'd you know I had a freak out then?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Because, you said you had a bad night & I'm not an idiot. Sheesh. Suspicious, much?
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Alright, alright. Sorry. Yes, I had a meltdown and freaked the fuck out of Victor, Yoyo and Zoe.
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Look, you don't have to explain to me, Nate. I'm sure you're tired of talking about that kinda shit.
Nathaniel (to Marlena): Yeah... kinda. Should we head back inside and do the family shit?
Marlena (to Nathaniel): Probably.
Victor (to Marlena & Nathaniel): Here you are. Phew! You reek! Dinner is ready.
Marlena (to Victor): Stow it, pipsqueak.
Victor (to Marlena): Heh. Pipsqueak? Get your arse in here, smokestack.
Marlena (to Victor): Heh. I missed you. We're coming.
Victor (to Marlena): Heh heh! I missed you too. (to Nathaniel) How are you doing?
Nathaniel (to Victor): Fine, Dad. I'm just finishing up a cigarette, not slitting my wrists.
Victor (to Nathaniel): Ah. It's a slow suicide then.
Marlena (to Nathaniel & Victor): Heh. You two are fucking hilarious.
Victor (to Marlena): Yes, we're thinking of taking the show on the road. I'll see you two in a minute.
An hour or so later:
Zoe: Ow... ow... what on earth is that?
Victor (to Zoe): Are you alright? You didn't eat one of those cookies Gabe made, did you?
Zoe (to Victor): Oh, was that what I just tried to eat? It was not edible at all...
Victor (to Zoe): Heh. That's what he claimed they were.
Zoe (to Victor): They should be declared a weapon of mass destruction. I almost broke a tooth.
Eep (to Zoe & Victor): Oh, god. Don't eat those. I think there are orange seeds in there.
Zoe (to Eep): Why!?! That just seems like a terrible idea.
Victor (to Eep): Why would he put orange seeds in there?
Eep (to Zoe & Victor): I don't know. I think he's trying to get out of cookie making duty forever.
Zoe (to Victor & Eep): Well, I hope it works for all of our sakes.
Eep (to Zoe): Heh. Seriously. Sorry to change the topic, but Poppy and Vincent said you've been having some bad dreams.
Zoe (to Eep): Oh... Yes, I have. It's okay. I've been having them for awhile now. Sometimes, they're worse than others. I'm dealing with it.
Eep (to Zoe): Yeah. I'd imagine. It's OK, if you're not doing super alright, you know. Hang in there. It'll pass, eventually. You'll be OK.
Zoe (to Eep): I know, Fel-- Eep. I'm sorry. It's weird to have these memories & dreams that aren't really mine.
Eep (to Zoe): I'll bet. I can't even imagine how fucked up that must be. Don't worry. It'll work out.
Zoe (to Eep): Heh. I make you uncomfortable, don't I? It's okay, I understand. I wish I could say something that would make you believe me, but I know SHE did a lot of terrible things to you & Emma. I don't want to be that person.
Eep (to Zoe): Heh. Yeah. You make me a little uncomfortable. I'm not gonna lie, but I know you're not Hiiri. Just relax and enjoy Christmas.
Zoe (to Eep): I will. Can I ask you something?
Eep (to Zoe): Sure. What's up?
Zoe (to Eep): How did you & Emma deal with the bad dreams?
Eep (to Zoe): Patience and time. Mostly time. I wish I could give you a better answer than that. And it helps to have someone around to help remind you you're OK and you're not the monster. It looks like you've got that.
Zoe (to Eep): ... Thank you, I guess. I'll let you get back to the festivities. I'm going to go grab a smoke. I've got some thinking to do.
A few minutes later:
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Hey. Want one?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Yes, please.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Here you go. How has your first Christmas gone, you think?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Thanks... It's been a mixture of good & weird. I still feel a bit like an outsider, though. How are you doing?
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. Feeling kind of out of place myself.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Yeah... Hey, cool cigarette holder.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Oh. Thanks. Mars gave it to me.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Oh... That was nice of her.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Yeah. I wasn't really expecting anything from anyone. Um, this is for you. It's not much, but I thought you might... If you don't like it or it's too weird, cause of our whole thing... you don't have to keep it.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Oh, thank you... I made you this. I hope you like it. I needed something to do when I couldn't sleep, so Vincent showed me how to knit. I won't be offended if you hate it.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Yes you would. I don't hate it. Calm the fuck down. You don't have to wear the hat. I know it's fucking ridiculous.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Heehee, you got me a hat with ears... It IS fucking ridiculous. I love it. Thank you.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. Yeah. For some reason it made me think of you. I guess we didn't do so bad, did we?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Heh. I suppose we didn't... I'd give you a hug, but I don't want to make it weird.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): I don't want your cooties on me anyway.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Oh, You should know better than to say that. Now, I'm totally going to give you a hug... Just so you get ALL the cooties.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Oh god... Get off me you, freak. You're gonna get your uterus on me.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Nope, I'm totally going to keep hugging you until you turn into a girl from cross contamination... And, you totally need a human biology lesson. The uterus is on the inside, weirdo.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Christ. You're going to break my fucking ribs! And human anatomy lesson, I can't turn into a girl via osmosis.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Heehee, I know. Just go with it. Don't make it weird... er.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Alright. Alright. That's enough.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Okay. I'm done.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Thank god. Ouch! I was just kidding.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): So, I need to tell you something & I don't know how to do it. So, I'm just going to come out with it... Um, Oliver is robot.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): What? He's a what? A robot? Gimme a fucking break.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): No, he is... He's like Percy. You don't have to believe me, but it's true. If you ever kiss him, you'll know.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): Heh. Why are you trying to... You're not fucking with me are you? Jesus! It would fucking figure... No wonder he doesn't make me nervous. Percy is one too? Christ.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Go out with Oliver, if you like him. Hell, it would probably be good for you. But, I just thought you should know.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): I can't date a fucking robot! Why would a robot even want to go on a date?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): Why not? You're uncomfortable around men, but that's who you're attracted to & just because you go on a date doesn't mean you have to have sex with them.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): I know that! But if he's a fucking robot, why would he want to go out with me? What would we talk about? The price of oil?
Zoe (to Nathaniel): He's programmed to act like a normal guy... God, I'm sorry that I told you. I should have kept my mouth shut. I just knew you liked him & it would have been awkward if you figured it out later.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): No. It's alright. I'd rather find out this way then make a pass at him and make an ass out of myself. I probably shouldn't be dating anyone right now anyway.
Zoe (to Nathaniel): I'm sorry, Nate. I should have told you sooner. I just didn't know how to bring it up.
Nathaniel (to Zoe): It's alright. Thanks for looking out for me.
