Poppy (to Yukiko & Victor): Wake up, sweeties! I am not letting you waste away in bed for another day. Breakfast will be ready soon... And, I want you both ready for lessons as soon as we're done eating. No dilly dallying!
Victor (to Poppy): Yes, ma'am. (to Yukiko) Guess we don't get to hide out today. Oh good heavens... She's going to kick my arse today.
Yukiko (to Victor): I don't have much faith that my ass will be free from a kicking, either... Do you think she's mad at us?
Victor (to Yukiko): She's not mad. She's not happy, but she's not quite mad. My parents are a bit overprotective of me, and I think the whole getting older, getting a girlfriend routine is tough for them to manage right now. Dad deals with it by being inappropriate, REALLY inappropriate, and Mom gets annoyed. Don't worry. They'll get over it.
Yukiko (to Victor): Alright then... I just wanted to know the reason for the ass kicking to come. This is one of those moments when I wish I had the samurai armor that sits in my parent's teahouse. I feel like I'm going to need it.
Victor (to Yukiko): Well, she won't hurt us too badly, at least. I hope.
Yukiko (to Victor): Well, let's go face the firing squad, then... Just know that I always loved you. :-P
Victor (to Yukiko): Heh. I, um, I love you too.
Nathaniel (to Victor & Yukiko): God. Turn it down about 800 watts, Romeo and Juliet. It's too early for shit-eating grins that wide.
Yukiko (to Nathaniel): Oh, I think that make you Tybalt, then... Snarky, jealous, & secretly wants to hump Romeo. Yep, you're totally Tybalt.
Nathaniel (to Yukiko): One: not an insult. Tybalt was far more interesting than the main characters, and, I will remind you that he didn't off himself in a fit of teenage hormones. Two: I don't know how they do it in your part of the world, but here, fucking your family is frowned upon. Besides, Frouffy McGee here is SO not my type. Have at him. Make yourselves raw.
Victor (to Nathaniel): Heh. Then here. Coffee, black one sugar. (to Yukiko) Do you want some tea, Yoyo?
Yukiko (to Nathaniel): I'm sorry, that was rude of me. You just fluster me a bit, I'm not used to someone hating me for no apparent reason. (to Victor) Coffee is fine, thank you.
Nathaniel (to Yukiko): Jesus. I don't hate you. I don't even know you. I'm just... Jesus. It is too early for this. (to Victor) Oh. Uh, thanks. How the fuck did you know...
Victor (to Nathaniel): I pay attention. You take yours black, Hiiri is light cream, light sugar, Yoyo likes honey and just a splash of milk, my mom likes cream light sugar, and my Dad likes a ton of both. You also start rubbing your neck when you're nervous. Which might be a family trait. Dad does the same thing.
Yukiko (to Nathaniel): So, what do you want to know, Nate? I mean, if you're going to actively dislike me. You might as well get to know me, first. I've got nothing to hide. Come on, judge me.
Nathaniel (to Yukiko): Christ! Back off. I'm not trying to judge you, alright? Don't be so damn touchy. I don't like anyone.
Yukiko (to Nathaniel): Fine. But, just so you know, you're not the only one with a messed up childhood & issues. I just cover mine up a bit better.
Victor (to Nathaniel & Yukiko): She's right, you know. Her family tried to sell her off to some random pirate as a bride, & her brother was the one who sold out to CLANNG, the group that wants very much to kill us in horrible ways.
Nathaniel (to Yukiko & Victor): Fine. I'm sorry, alright? So, this means Sherlock over there is the only one with a stable upbringing? Christ.
Victor (to Nathaniel & Yukiko): Unfortunately, it would seem so. I know you're used to being the biggest "freak" in the room, but you're going to have to get used to the fact that you kind of blend around here.
Yukiko (to Victor & Nathaniel): Well, Mars & her brother had a pretty normal childhood, actually. But, everyone currently in this house, yeah not so much. (to Victor) Unless, you know something about their childhood, that I don't... Eep is secretly a clown or something.
Victor (to Yukiko): Oh my god. That would be terrifying! Mars had a pretty rocky start, but then things stabilized.
Yukiko (to Victor): Heehee, sorry. I was just trying to think of the most ridiculous thing he could be... He'd be such a scowly, smoky clown.
Victor (to Yukiko): I still can't get over the idea of Uncle Eddie as a clown. Yikes! A whole new generation would grow up fearing clowns like never before.
Poppy (to Victor & Yukiko): Alright, sweeties, tim-- (to Nathaniel) Oh, good morning, Nate, you're looking your usual chipper self… Oops, sorry about that, I forgot I was wearing lipstick. (to Yukiko & Victor) Are you two ready for lessons?
Victor (to Poppy): Yes, ma'am.
Yukiko (to Poppy): I'm ready.
Poppy (to Yukiko & Victor): Good. (to Nathaniel) Honey, would you like to join us or do you have other plans?
Hiiri: Aaaah! No... I won't do it! Stop it! You're hurting me!
Nathaniel (to Poppy): Um. Yeah. Maybe in a minute. I'm just gonna go check on Hiiri. (to Hiiri) Hey. You alright? JESUS!
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Huh? What? Where the fuck am I? ... Oh, Nate... I'm sorry. I was having a bad dream.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): I'll say. You took a fucking swing at me!
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Oh god, I thought-- It doesn't matter what I thought. I'm sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Of course not. You didn't even connect. You just shocked the shit out of me. Come on. Let's get you some coffee. What the fuck were you dreaming about?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Smythe... The fucked up thing is, it isn't even my nightmare, it's Mouse's. But, I have not only the other Hiiri's memories, but hers, too... God, this coffee is just what I needed.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Who the hell is Smythe?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Oh, he's the one who made Hiiri in the first place... He was a psychotic nut-job who kidnapped Mouse & tortured her because Vincent had something he wanted. When she finally escaped, it intrigued him so much that he made Hiiri, as a companion... Like I said, pyschotic nut-job... I'm really a clone of Mouse with Hiiri's brain patterns meshed with hers.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): He--he what? That is... That is fucked up. Sorry. Jesus. Is everyone in this family just a magnet for weird, fucked up shit?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Yes... No... Maybe... It's just a bad dream, don't go psycho-analyzing everything. I don't have them very often. Wait... You're not just talking about this, are you? What happened?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): No. Yoyo read me the riot act first thing this morning for not handling my shit better. Her family tried to sell her off, I guess. She and Victor told me I'd have to get used to blending in around here.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Heh... I guess, they're counting on you staying.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. Either that, or they were telling me to quit my bitching. ... How the fuck do y'all do it? How do you just keep going?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): For all of the terrible shit that happens, there's some really amazing stuff, too... I couldn't imagine not being around to see any of that. Have you ever gone to the top of a mountain and seen the sunrise? I have and it was wonderful. I once went to Paris and stood on the Eiffel Tower and watched the lights come on from all over the city. And, on the other side of the portal, there are parts of North America still left virtually untouched. I know that's not your sort of thing, but it's really breath-taking... You're making a face... Am I being too girly for you?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Sorry. No. Sounds kind of amazing, actually. You've seen all that, and you want to stay here?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Well, I didn't have anyone to share it with and no place to call home. Traveling and seeing all those things is only really fun when there's someplace to go back to... Besides, we could go do any of those things right this second & be back before anyone would notice... Actually, what do you say to skipping to the pyramids or having coffee in Paris, right now? It should be safe. CLANNG went back through the portal & they don't know about you & I.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): What? How would we... I mean, fuck... Yeah. Let's fucking do it! That sounds kinda fucking amazing.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Okay, let me throw on some clothes... Where do you want to go first?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): I don't know. Let's try Paris.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Paris, it is, then...
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): I don't suppose you speak French do you?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Oui, un petit peu.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. I'm gonna assume that means yes. OK. Ready when you are.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Okay, grab my hand... I'm going to open a portal & then we just walk through. I know a safe place we can walk through. There's a café right around the corner from the Eiffel tower that I love. And, we can check out a museum or two, ride a tour bus, play find the Irish pub game, which is easy because I know where there is one.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Oh. Jesus! You aren't shitting around. Ha ha! Alright. Let's go.
An hour or so later:
Victor: Ouch. My mom LOVES to remind me I'm not quite an adult yet. Physically.
Yukiko: Dear god, I think I have bruises on top of bruises.
Percy (to Yukiko & Victor): Well, you two look like you been having all sorts of fun. Don't mind me, I knocked and let myself in when no one answered.
Victor (to Percy): What? Oh. Hello, Percy. Mom is in the practice room, no doubt wiping my blood off her rapier. Dad is off running an errand, and I'm not sure where Nate and Hiiri are. Probably smoking on the balcony. Can I help you?
Percy (to Victor): I just came over to let everyone know that it looks like it's safe for Miss Yoyo & Hiiri to head back over to Mouse's. There hasn't been any CLANNG activity at all & the portal has been pretty quiet. Your parents suggested I stick around there for a few more days to be on the safe side, but I see no reason for them to be huddled up here unless you'd like me to lie. ;-) And, it's a bit of a shame that the one called Nate isn't here... He's a little slice of alright.
Victor (to Percy): Yes, I'm sure he'll be disappointed he missed you. I'll pass along your regards. I can let Mom know you're here. I'm sure she's calmed down by now. Probably.
Percy (to Victor): Heehee. No worries, I'll just run back to the house, then. I've got a few extra alarms to finish setting up, just give your mother the message. I don't think I want to be near her when she's got a weapon in her hand if I can help it. Toodles!
Yukiko (to Victor): He is very odd.
Victor (to Yukiko): He is WAY odd. I figured mentioning Mom had her sword and was annoyed would be enough to get rid of him. Nate may be a dick, but not even he deserves to have Percy sniffing after him.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Oof... Are you okay? That wasn't too much for you, was it? (to Victor & Yukiko) Oh… Hi there. This is totally not what it looks like... (to Nathaniel) Stop grinning! It's hard to lie, when you're grinning like that.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. Sorry. Sorry. This is me. Being serious. Heh...
Victor (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): Heh. It's totes what it looks like. I thought you guys went wandering. Don't worry. Mom's in the other room.
Nathaniel (to Victor): You're not going to tattle on us, are you?
Victor (to Nathaniel): No, of course not. It's not like I haven't done it before.
Hiiri (to Victor): Thank god. (to Nathaniel) I am never going to take you anywhere again. :-P
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): That's not what you were saying earlier. That was... Holy shit! It was just... just... I don't know. Fucking amazing!
Yukiko (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): Where did you guys go?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Heehee, I was just joking. (to Yukiko) We went to Paris. We mostly stayed on the Champs-Elysées, but we found a tour bus that took us past all the big tourist attractions and then we hung out at a corner café for awhile. There was a French boy that thought Nate was the cat's pajamas. I kept having to translate.
Yukiko (to Hiiri): Wow... I've only ever been to Paris on the other side. Sounds like you guys had a good time.
Nathaniel (to Victor, Yukiko & Hiiri): Heh. heh. Apparently, the French LOVE a southern accent. (to Hiiri) You didn't make out so bad either.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Yeah, being compared to the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is SO incredibly hot the 1st thousand times you hear it... in French.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): I don't know. It sounded alright to me. :-P
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): They could have been reading the Paris phonebook out loud and you would have thought it was fine.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Damn straight. Heh heh. (to Yukiko & Victor) Holy shit. What the fuck happened to you two? I just realized.
Victor (to Nathaniel & Hiiri): Heh. Training with my mom. We're alright.
Hiiri (to Victor & Yukiko): Damn. She got you both pretty good. What did you do to upset-- Oh, um, nevermind. I don't want to know.
Yukiko (to Hiiri): Very funny. (to Hiiri, Victor & Nathaniel) I'm going to go get cleaned up.
Victor (to Yukiko): Alright. I'll see you in a bit.
Nathaniel (to Victor): You got it bad for her, don't you?
Victor (to Nathaniel): Yeah. Heh. (to Hiiri) Oh. Percy stopped by & thinks it's probably safe for you and Yoyo to go back to my aunt & uncle's.
Hiiri (to Victor): Oh... that's good, I guess.
Victor (to Hiiri): If you want, I can forget to give my mom the message for a couple of days. I know I certainly wouldn't mind.
Hiiri (to Victor): Heh. It's a deal... I don't want you to get in trouble, though.
Victor (to Hiiri): In trouble for what? The problem with getting hit in the head a couple of times is that it can lead to short term memory loss. I may even have a concussion. Who knows? ;-)
Hiiri (to Victor): I'm totes going to give you a hug, you sneaky little man.
Victor (to Hiiri): Heh heh. Ooch! Easy. I am a bit on the battered side. I'm going to grab something to eat. I'll see you guys later.
Several hours later:
Victor (to Vincent): Are you ready, Dad?
Vincent (to Victor): As ready as I'm ever going to be, I think.
Victor (to Vincent): Alright. On three. One... Two...
Vincent (to Victor): Jesus CHRIST! Oh. fuck me running. ... You didn't wait until three.
Poppy (to Vincent & Victor): What on earth is going on in here?
Victor (to Poppy): Oh, hey, Mom.
Vincent (to Poppy): Nothing much, sweetie. Victor was relocating my shoulder for me. I'm afraid it's wandered out of place again.
Poppy (to Vincent): Oh well, okay then, lover. I was worried it was something more serious.
Nathaniel (to Vincent, Victor & Poppy): What the fuck are you doing in here?
Poppy (to Nathaniel): It's just a normal Tuesday, honey. Nothing to get in a tizzy about.
Victor (to Vincent): THIS is why you don't scream like that. (to Nathaniel) Nothing. I'm just popping my dad's shoulder back in the socket.
Nathaniel (to Victor & Poppy): That really doesn't make it sound any better you know.
Poppy (to Nathaniel & Victor): We'll have to work on that... (to Vincent) Lover, would you like a drink and a nice backrub?
Vincent (to Poppy): Good heavens, yes! I would love you forever, hun. (to Nathaniel) Don't worry, kiddo. I'm fine. I just lifted some cargo that was too heavy to be lifting with a bum shoulder.
Poppy (to Vincent): Oh, and here I thought you already did.
Vincent (to Poppy): Mmm. True. However will I say thank you, properly in that case?
Poppy (to Vincent): I'm sure I can think of something, lover.
Nathaniel (to Victor): Jesus... Does this kind of thing happen a lot?
Vincent (to Poppy): Hee hee hee. I like the sound of that, lover.
Victor (to Nathaniel): We should leave. Trust me. They're about to get WAY inappropriate.
Poppy (to Victor): Honey, let me remind you, that if we weren't inappropriate, you wouldn't be here.
Victor (to Poppy): I know. Are you honestly complaining I'm trying to get you a little privacy, Mom?
Poppy (to Victor): Not at all, honey... Shoo, then.
Victor (to Poppy): Heh. That's what I thought. (to Nathaniel) For our sanity's sake, we should go now.
Nathaniel (to Victor): How the fuck can you be so goddamn calm when this kind of shit happens?
Victor (to Nathaniel): What? The injury or my parents being gross? One happens more frequently than the other. My parents are always like that. It would be rather sweet if it weren't so gross.
Nathaniel (to Victor): That's not what I meant! The whole... whole... RELOCATION thing. Your dad was screaming!
Victor (to Nathaniel): I'm not surprised. That kind of thing hurts quite a bit. Calm down, Nate. He's alright. It's just a dislocated shoulder. He'll probably go to a proper doctor tomorrow, get put in a sling again, & get a prescription for painkillers he'll ignore.
Nathaniel (to Victor): I just don't get how you can be so calm when this kind of shit happens.
Victor (to Nathaniel): It's obvious, isn't it? Being hysterical isn't going to help anyone, so you stay calm as long as you need to. Besides if either my mom or dad were seriously injured, I would have been WAY more anxious. Believe me.
Nathaniel (to Victor): Oh.
A moment later:
Yukiko (to Hiiri): If you want me to finish putting curlers in your hair, you have to sit still. I only have a few more to do.
Hiiri (to Yukiko): Fine... I just don't like sitting in one place for too long. Just forget the whole thing. It's probably going to look dumb.
Victor (to Yukiko & Hiiri): Heh heh. What are you two up to?
Nathaniel (to Victor, Yukiko & Hiiri): I have no idea what I'm witnessing here.
Yukiko (to Victor & Nathaniel): I am attempting to curl Hiiri's hair... Like she asked me to, but she is fidgeting too much. (to Hiiri) And, I am not stopping now. I only have like, four more to put in.
Victor (to Yukiko): Oh! That would probably be cute. Do you need me to sit on her?
Hiiri (to Victor): No, don't sit on me. I'll cooperate. I promise.
Yukiko (to Victor): Yes. Would you? (to Hiiri) Just stay still for 2 minutes. Geez.
Victor (to Yukiko): Aye aye! (to Hiiri) Sorry, Hiiri. It has been decided that you can't be trusted not to fidget.
Hiiri (to Victor): Nooooooooooo, you're going to squash me. I just know it. (to Nathaniel) Help me, Nate! They're trying to smush me.
Victor (to Hiiri): Yeah, I am. I think I probably outweigh you by like 7 stone. You'll survive for two minutes, I think. (to Nathaniel) Be good, or we'll curl your hair next!
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Sorry, shortie, but the threat of perm is keeping me firmly on this side of the room.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): I see who's side you're on... Benedict Arnold.
Yukiko (to Hiiri): There I am done... Now, just leave them alone & we can take them out in the morning, okay?
Hiiri (to Yukiko): Okay... Thank you, Yoyo. (to Victor) Will you get off of me, now?
Victor (to Hiiri): With pleasure. You are a boney little thing, do you know that? Are you made entirely of right angles?
Hiiri (to Victor): Yes... and spikes.
Victor (to Hiiri): Heh. No wonder you like Nate so much. :-P
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): So what's with the sudden desire for curly hair?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): I just wanted to try something different... It's going to look stupid, isn't it?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): No, it's not! You'll look fine with curly hair. (to Victor) Hetero Boy! Help me out here. Cute? Yay or nay?
Victor (to Nathaniel): What? Am I your token straight guy, now?
Nathaniel (to Victor): Yes. What's the verdict?
Victor (to Nathaniel & Hiiri): Nate is right, Hiiri, as much as that sentence may pain me. I'll bet you'll look adorable.
Yukiko (to Hiiri): You'll look fine. Trust me. I'll even do your makeup for you tomorrow, if you'd like. Don't pay any attention to the boys.
Victor (to Yukiko & Hiiri): Hey! Nate may not have any fashion sense, but I like to think I'm pretty well put together.
Nathaniel (to Victor): Fuck you, fancy pants!
Yukiko (to Victor): Oh, you are... But, she should learn not to put all her faith in what boys say. You don't want her being one of those girls.
Victor (to Yukiko): What? Nate's opinion doesn't count. He likes boys! And my opinion isn't much better.
Hiiri (to Yukiko, Nathaniel & Victor): Am I supposed to be learning something? Geez. I just wanted curly hair.
Yukiko (to Hiiri): I'm sorry, Hiiri... You just seemed a lot younger when you were sitting there.
Victor (to Hiiri): No offense, Hiiri, but you look WAY too much like my aunt.
Hiiri (to Victor): It's okay, Victor, I'm not offended.
Victor (to Hiiri): Heh. At least you know that you'll look pretty damn good as you age.
Hiiri (to Victor): Yes... I think I need a cigarette.
Victor (to Hiiri): Oh. I, uh, I didn't insult you, did I?
Hiiri (to Victor): No, it's just kinda like being told you look like your mom.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. I'm guessing Victor is used to that. Wait up, short stuff. I'm gonna join you.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Oh sure.
Yukiko (to Victor): And, off they go... They seem to be getting along, pretty well. Do you find that weird or is it just me?
Victor (to Yukiko): Not really. I don't think she realized she did it, but Hiiri remarked to me that Nate reminded her of my dad. She's kinda like my aunt, and he's kinda like my dad. It makes sense in some weird way. So, now that we've lost the Cigarette Twins, do you want to head to bed?
Yukiko (to Victor): Sure... You know, I'm going to really miss all of this when I finally have to leave.
Victor (to Yukiko): I am too. I'm going to miss it a lot. We may as well enjoy it while we can.
Yukiko (to Victor): Heh. You're right, we probably should... Lead the way.
Victor (to Yukiko): Aye, aye. Up we go... Heh! Ouch! Watch the eye. My face is already battered enough. :-P
Yukiko (to Victor): Sorry, you grabbed me in a ticklish spot & I reacted.
Victor (to Yukiko): I wasn't complaining. You're more than worth a couple of bruises.
Nathaniel (to Yukiko & Victor): Get a room, perverts!
Victor (to Nathaniel): We're trying! Go back to sucking your white dick of death!
Nathaniel: Shit. Just when I think I've got everything worked out... (to Yukiko & Victor) Yeah, yeah. Good night. Just keep it down!
Yukiko (to Victor): Come on, Victor... (to Nathaniel & Hiiri) Good night, Nate, Hiiri.
Hiiri (to Yukiko & Victor): Good night. (to Nathaniel) What's got your knickers in a knot, now?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): My knickers aren't in a knot. I'm just giving them a hard time. You'll notice I was very nearly almost polite.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Oh, is that what that was? I had no idea. Thank you for clarifying.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Gimme a break, alright? I'm still trying to figure out how to act around those two, OK?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Fine... Why do they get under your skin so much? I mean, I kinda understand the Victor thing, but Yoyo? She's nice. Or is it the two of them together thing?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Did I really seem like I was being a huge dick. Christ. I can't even tell anymore.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): No, not a huge one. But, you did manage to rile up Victor, which takes some doing.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): One, to be fair, it doesn't seem like it takes much for *me* to rile up Mr. Fancy Pants.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Probably, because he expects you to be awful to him.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Yeah. No doubt. I'll try harder, OK?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): I know you're trying, Nate, it's okay... I'm going to watch a movie & crash on the couch. You're more than welcome to join me.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Yeah. That sounds good.
