Mouse (to Vincent): Yeah... Mars wants me to ask Hiiri to stay with Yoyo while we're gone, so she's not on her own. How do you feel about that?
Vincent (to Mouse): Oh. I... Good heavens. I have no idea. I'm not sure how I feel about it. How would you feel about having her in your home?
Mouse (to Vincent): A bit weird, but Mars & Yoyo swear that she's different and that they'll behave. And, it'll get her out of your very crowded place. And, Eep seems to be okay with it.
Vincent (to Mouse): Well, if it's alright with you guys, it wouldn't bother me. We are a bit stuffed to the gills. Hee hee. I think Nate will start pouting when she leaves. Those two have been thicker than thieves lately.
Mouse (to Vincent): Well, she'll be just across town & it's only for a couple weeks... What are we going to do with her? I mean, are we going let her stay here with us & if so how is that going to work? And, if not where is she going to go? She's still just a kid. Do we even know how old she is? ... This is so strange.
Vincent (to Mouse): Honestly, hun, I'm fucked if I know. Poppy and I were discussing the same thing last night. I don't know. I certainly don't feel right pushing her out the door. I keep finding myself treating her like Victor and Nate. I asked her when she had last eaten tonight, and she called me dad!
Mouse (to Vincent): HAHAHA! Sorry, I shouldn't laugh... Heehee.
Vincent (to Mouse): Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, fuzzball. Whatever happens, I'm sure we'll figure it out. We always do. The strangest part is *how much* she reminds me of you. Good heavens. She and Nate are like this generation's version of you and me. The snarky, snarky versions of you and me.
Mouse (to Vincent): Heh... Does that make Mars the Eep? She'd love that.
Vincent (to Mouse): Hee hee hee. Yes, because all kids loves hearing how much they resemble their parents.
Mouse (to Vincent): God, don't remind me... We're going to have to figure out what to do with Hiiri, aren't we? The longer she stays the more the kids are going to get attached and treat her like a member of the family. When we get back from our vacation, we should sit down with her and figure it out, I suppose.
Vincent (to Mouse): Don't worry, hun. We'll work it out. Honestly, is THIS the weirdest, most difficult thing we've ever dealt with?
Mouse (to Vincent): Probably not, but honestly I can't think of anything else.
Vincent (to Mouse): I mean, don't get me wrong. It's definitively in the top 10, but number 1? We are SO much weirder than teenaged clones.
Mouse (to Vincent): Yeah, yeah... I need to finish getting ready for our trip tomorrow. I'll see you in a couple weeks. If you need us for some inexplicable reason, you know how to get in touch with us. I love you, little brother. Give my love to the family.
Vincent (to Mouse): I will. I love you too. Have a good time, and give Eep and Mars extra hugs from me.
Mouse (to Vincent): I will. Be safe!
A short time later, at Poppy & Vincent's apartment, West Piedmont:
Hiiri (to Victor & Nathaniel): This movie makes no sense. Why on earth do people like this? We're really supposed to believe that a duo flying a stolen spaceship is going to destroy an alien armada?
Victor (to Hiiri): Apparently so. How the hell would they even know how to fly that thing?
Hiiri (to Victor): Thank you, my point exactly.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri & Victor): It's called the suspension of disbelief. You know like Victor thinking he presents as straight. And you thinking you've got a shot with me, short stuff.
Victor (to Nathaniel): You do realize that saying something over and over again doesn't make it true, right?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): You know, if you keep making jokes about that, I'm going to think you're totally faking this whole gay thing just to get into girl's pants, which judging by the teenage girls I've seen wouldn't be all that hard. Maybe that's why Victor does it. (to Victor) It's alright, Nate's just in denial because he LOVES me. He LOVES me so much.
Victor (to Hiiri): Oh, he's totes gay. Did you see the way he was drooling all over Oliver? I thought he might start humping his leg.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): You caught me. I'm actually straight. I just pretended to be gay to be interesting. Run away to Vegas with me!
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Heh... I should totally call your bluff, but I have a feeling that no one wins gay chicken. And, you'd probably go through with it just to fuck with me.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Oh my GOD. We SHOULD enter into a marriage of convenience! My parents would love me again, you'd get a green card or whatever it is you need to stay over here, and we could both have our men on the side. Perfect! (to Victor) Hey, what happens if you hook up with Yoyo? I mean, who's marrying who for the green card? Aren't you both illegals?
Victor (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Which is bloody impressive. (to Nathaniel) You say that like I don't have a forged birth certificate. Have you MET my parents?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Oh, we would have the best house with your gay style & my... um, absolutely nothing.
Victor (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): You think HE has style? Really? Huh.
Hiiri (to Victor): Hush you... finish painting that foot. I'm trying to be a pretty princess & I can't do it with only one.
Nathaniel (to Victor): Which is point number two, what kind of straight boy knows how to paint nails?
Victor (to Nathaniel): Again, have you MET my parents?
Nathaniel (to Victor): Fair enough.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel & Victor): Look, will you just kiss already and get it over with... the sexual tension is killing me.
Nathaniel & Victor (to Hiiri): That is disgusting.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel & Victor): Chicken.
Victor (to Hiiri): Really. If you really want to see two attractive guys making out, I believe there are websites full of that kind of thing.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri & Victor): By jove! You mean there are sites full of pornography? ON THE INTERNET? The scandal, sir! THE SCANDAL!
Hiiri (to Victor): Did I say guys I find attractive? No... I said you two. (to Nathaniel) You would know.
Victor (to Hiiri): Please. We could charge for that show.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Yes, I would.
Hiiri (to Victor): Well then, whatcha waiting for, Mister Dandy?
Victor (to Hiiri): Mr. Dandy is my father. Which parts of "Ewww, we are related" and "I am straight" are the parts you don't you understand? I can write it down for you if you think it will help.
Hiiri (to Victor): But I-- I never learned to read!
Nathaniel (to Hiiri & Victor): You guys are more entertaining than the movie at this point. Are you gonna start fucking right here and now? Or are you hoping for a little more romancing first?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel & Victor): I don't think I could compete with the girl he's already been getting naked with... She's pretty cute.
Victor (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): Yeah. She is. As far as I can tell, I'm the only one in the room who's not hard up.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel & Victor): Okay, okay... I give up.
Poppy (to Hiiri, Victor & Nathaniel): Dear god, children! You are absolutely terrible at perv chicken... Vincent & I have been trying for the past twenty minutes to play a rousing game of 'Escape From Jabba's Palace'. And, you're totally ruining it. So, please hush or I'll shoot all of you.
Victor (to Poppy): Sorry, Mom. (to Hiiri & Nathaniel) What? It's the second Saturday of the month.
Nathaniel (to Victor & Hiiri): Jesus Christ! I think my ears are bleeding.
Hiiri (to Victor): Ummm... your parents schedule that sort of thing? That's a little disturbing.
Victor (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): And yet again, I ask, for the third time, have you met my parents?
Poppy (to Hiiri): Oh honey, could you please come in here for a minute? Vincent & I wanted to talk to you about something.
Hiiri (to Poppy): Oh, of course... (to Victor & Nathaniel) Help! I don't want to be Salacious Crumb in their weird sex thing.
Victor (to Hiiri): Calm down. There's no weird sex thing. Mom was just trying to freak us out.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri & Victor): Dear fucking god...
Hiiri (to Victor): Okay, but if I go in there & they're wearing Star Wars outfits, I will totally go all Sith Lord on you. (to Poppy & Vincent) Um, hi? You wanted to talk to me.
Poppy (to Hiiri): Yes, honey. We wanted to talk to you about staying with Yoyo while everyone is gone on vacation... Are you interested & willing?
Vincent (to Hiiri): Ooo. Cute toenails!
Hiiri (to Vincent): Thanks! Victor helped me with them. (to Poppy & Vincent) Oh, I wouldn't mind staying over there with Yoyo. They both mentioned it to me, last night. I didn't think you would go for it. That's why I hadn't mentioned it.
Vincent (to Hiiri): My sister is a little concerned about her staying all alone a couple of weeks, and Mars wondered if you would do it. Actually, we'd appreciate it. I know that you're all probably old enough to look after yourselves, but... Hee hee. Well, we're parents.
Hiiri (to Vincent): I understand... I don't mind keeping her company.
Vincent (to Hiiri): Thank you, hun.
Hiiri (to Vincent): No problem, Dad... I'll go let the boys know I'm packing up. :-P
Vincent (to Hiiri): Hardy har. You're a laugh riot.
Poppy (to Hiiri & Vincent): Heehee. (to Vincent) She totally has your number, lover.
Vincent (to Poppy): Yes. I'm a terrible bore these days. However will I keep your attention now?
Poppy (to Vincent): Hmmmm... What was that, honey? I was thinking about that cute boy at the bakery. ;-P
Vincent (to Poppy): Good heavens, who ISN'T?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel & Victor): It looks like I'll be staying with Yoyo for the next couple weeks... Will you miss me?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): What? You're going to leave me here alone with HIM?
Victor (to Hiiri): Yeah. Take him with you, please.
Hiiri (to Victor): Do you really want him staying in the same house with your girlfriend? (to Nathaniel) I'm just going to be a few blocks away. I'm sure you can come visit me as much as you want.
Victor (to Hiiri): Oh. God. Probably not.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri & Victor): What? Afraid I might teach her a few things?
Victor (to Nathaniel & Hiiri): AND on that note, I'm going to bed. If I'm forced to hear any more, I may be sick. No. I WILL be sick.
Hiiri (to Victor): Good night, Victor. Thank you for helping me with my nails.
Victor (to Hiiri): You're welcome. Good night.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): I thought you were going to stop giving him such a hard time? What is it with Victor that gets under your skin so much?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): I'm trying. Don't make that face. I am trying. I don't know. He's just so... He's just SO...
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Nice? Weird? Metrosexual?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Metrosexual? Really? I suppose he is it at that. And he is definitely weird. I don't know. He's just irritating.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): If you say so.
