Poppy (to Hiiri): Good morning, honey. Thank you again for agreeing to stay over with Yoyo, I know we all appreciate it.
Hiiri (to Poppy): It's really no trouble. I mean, where else am I going to go? I can't go back through the portal. On this side, I'm not old enough to do pretty much anything without drawing attention. Being roomies with Yoyo, even if it's temporary seems my best option, at the moment.
Poppy (to Hiiri): That is very true, honey. But you still could have said no.
Hiiri (to Poppy): I suppose. I just didn't think that would be very nice.
Poppy (to Hiiri): Oh honey...
Hiiri (to Poppy): Ummm, why are you giving me a hug?
Poppy (to Hiiri): Because, I'm a mom & you looked like you needed one. Don't make it weird.
Hiiri (to Poppy): Oh.
Percy (to Poppy & Hiiri): I beg your pardon, sweeties. I hope I'm not interrupting.
Poppy (to Percy): You aren't, honey. What are you even doing here? I thought you had gone back to New London.
Percy (to Poppy): Funny story... So, I was on my way back through the portal when it suddenly closed & I got shot from behind with a Teslaracht. I only just came back online an hour or so ago. And, I thought to myself, where would there be people that would like to shoot me? So, voilá, here I am. Plus, I heard a rumor that the littlest Hiiri was here & wanted to see her for myself.
Poppy (to Percy): Well, honey, I'm sorry to say that no one here shot you. I could if you like, but where would the fun in that be? (to Hiiri) Hiiri, this is Percy. Feel free to ignore him. He is nothing but trouble.
Hiiri (to Poppy): Oh... Wow. (to Percy) You're an automaton, aren't you? You could pass for human. That's amazing. I've never seen one like you before. I mean, Oliver is pretty close but if you know what to look for, it's obvious.
Percy (to Hiiri): Yes, yes. I'm a marvel to behold. Please, don't muss the suit, I just had it dry cleaned.
Hiiri (to Percy): Sorry... Did someone really shoot you outside of the portal?
Percy (to Hiiri): Yes, but they were gone when I came to. So, either someone has an odd way of saying hello or there's a CLANNG agent here.
Poppy (to Percy): Well, that's not good. (to Hiiri) Honey, go get ready to head over to the house with Yoyo. I need to talk to Percy alone.
Hiiri (to Poppy): Oh right, of course.
A short time later:
Victor (to Hiiri): Good morning. You're always up so bloody early. You're not one of those early risers, are you? That's… Are you feeling alright? You look a bit pale.
Hiiri (to Victor): Oh, do I? Not surprising really. Um, Percy is in the kitchen with your mom... He thinks there's a CLANNG agent over here.
Victor (to Hiiri): Oh. Oh shit.
Hiiri (to Victor): Yeah, my thoughts exactly... She wants me to head over to the house to stay with Yoyo, but if that's the case, wouldn't my being there put her in danger? Maybe, I should just run away.
Victor (to Hiiri): No, no. Don't do that. After exhausting yourself, you should be fairly neutral on the energy scale right now, right? Honestly, you're safer with Yoyo than you are around here. Just lay low for a little bit. If my mom thought we were in really big trouble, we'd ALL be pulling up roots. It wouldn't be the first time we've done it.
Hiiri (to Victor): Okay, since you seem to think it's safe. I'll stick around.
Victor (to Hiiri): It's my girlfriend. If I didn't, I wouldn't send you there. And, truthfully, I'll feel better if I know someone is with Yoyo.
Hiiri (to Victor): Um, can I ask you a question?
Victor (to Hiiri): Of course. What is it?
Hiiri (to Victor): Do you think if everything turns out okay & we get CLANNG off our backs, that your parents would let me stay? I know it's a big 'If' & it's probably asking a lot, but I just want somewhere to belong... your mom gave me a hug this morning. And, for a brief second, I thought she was going to suggest it, but she didn't & then Percy barged in.
Victor (to Hiiri): I honestly don't know. I think right now, everything is too strange, and too chaotic. I wish I could say. I don't want to disappoint you, nor do I want to give you false hope. I'm sorry. I wish I had a better answer for you. Just stay for now, please? We'll work it out. I can say this much; no one will be shoving you out the door.
Hiiri (to Victor): Thanks, Victor... I should go see Nate before I head out. He'd kill me if I left without saying goodbye. (to Nathaniel) Nate? Wake up, sleepyhead! ... Oh my! Looks like someone's dreaming a nice dream. :-P
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Jesus Assfucking Christ, Hiiri! Get the fuck off me! What is wrong with you?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Do you want the long or short list? ... I just came to say goodbye. I'm heading out to stay with Yoyo.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Thus begins my quality alone time with Victor, huh? Great.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): You know, he's not really that bad... He could be a lot worse. Besides, I thought I irritated you & you were going to be happy to see me leave. I mean, eventually I won't be able to control myself & I will throw myself at your feet and the rejection will be unbearable.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): It's alright. I've always known of your love for me. Gimme a hug, you pain in the ass. You already know I'm going to be over there all the fucking time. Warn YumYum to unknot her panties preemptively.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Heehee, I will... And, Nate, um, thanks.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): For what? You're not getting all maudlin on me, are you?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): No... Just thank you for being my friend, I guess. I've never had one before.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Jesus. Why don't you suck my dick while you're down there kissing my ass? It's not that big a deal. I like you.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): I wasn't trying to kiss your ass, you dick... God, you can be so infuriating sometimes! How dare someone actually try to be nice to you and actually tell you that they care about you!
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): And that's what turns you on about me. Go. Get lost before you start crying like some huge girl. I'll see you after work. You shouldn't be nice to me. It only encourages my antisocial behavior.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Fine… ass.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Oh fine. Don't be all huffy. I'm just fucking with you. I don't know how to handle compliments like a normal human, alright? I'm glad you came here, and I'm even gladder you have either the thickest skin I've ever seen, or some kind of masochism, which kept you hanging around me. I'm sorry I'm a dick.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): No you're not, but I appreciate the sentiment. And, I'm glad you came here, too. Now, I'm going to go before I get girl all over you. I know how much you hate that.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. You're right. If I were all that sorry I'm a dick, I'd stop. And yes, please stop getting girlishness all in my bed. I might have to burn the sheets, and I don't think Aunt Vincent and Uncle Poppy will like that.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Heh. It really is a shame you don't like girls at all, because I'm fairly certain I would rock your world... Bye, Nate. :-P
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): I'll just have to mourn the love that can never be. I think we'll both survive. :-P I'll see you later.
An hour or so later, at Eep & Mouse's house, West Piedmont:
Hiiri: Damn! (to Victor) Victor, we have a problem.
Victor (to Hiiri): Hello, Hiiri. What's the matter?
Hiiri (to Victor): Miss Starling's got Yoyo... She says she'll let her go, if you turn yourself over to her... and oh shit... your cousin sends her regards... They're at the gateway at the Old Piedmont Inn. This is so not good.
Victor (to Hiiri): WHAT? Oh... Oh God. This is so, so, SO not good. Shit! Shit. This is my fault... Alright. You shouldn't stay there.
Hiiri (to Victor): Calm down, Victor... Call Seph & Yoyo first... This might be a trick.
Victor (to Hiiri): I tried to call Yoyo earlier. I didn't get through. I thought she was just asleep, and with the portals all fucked up... I haven't been able to reach Seph for days. Can you tell my parents what's going on? I'll head to the Old Piedmont. If they try to lock me up, they'll probably use an inhibitor field, right? I can get through one of those. I think.
Hiiri (to Victor): No! You stay put. I'll go to the inn. Starling & Carver have been chomping on the bit to get their hands on me again... I'll make sure she lets Yoyo go, I promise.
Victor (to Hiiri): Don't be stupid! They'll just gut you! They want me alive. This makes more sense.
Hiiri (to Victor): You going on your own does not make more sense. Tell your father what's going on before you run off half-cocked.
Victor (to Hiiri): It doesn't make sense if you do it either! They will kill you, Hiiri! Alright. Alright. Let's just... Can you get back to the apartment? The short way? Please? We need to figure this out to keep Yoyo and Seph from getting hurt.
Hiiri (to Victor): Yes, I'm on my way right now...
A moment later, at Poppy & Vincent's apartment, West Piedmont:
Hiiri (to Victor): Oof… That was unpleasant.
Victor (to Hiiri): Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you. (to Vincent & Poppy) MOM! DAD!
Vincent (to Victor): Good god, Victor. Why are you bellowing?
Poppy (to Victor): What is it, honey?
Victor (to Poppy & Vincent): It's CLANNG! They took Yoyo & Seph and want me to turn myself in at the Inn and I haven't been able to reach either of them! Hiiri was going to try to go and get them back, but she CAN'T! They'll just gut her!
Poppy (to Victor): Breathe, honey.
Vincent (to Victor): OK. It's OK. Calm down. We'll get them back. How do you know CLANNG has your cousin and girlfriend?
Victor (to Poppy & Vincent): Hiiri! She found a note!
Vincent (to Victor): Victor, I need you to calm down. You know we will not let anything, ANYTHING happen to Yoyo, Persephone or Hiiri. OK? Thank you for telling us this, and not running off to the inn.
Victor (to Vincent): I was going to. Hiiri convinced me not to.
Poppy (to Hiiri): Hiiri dear, can you please show us the note? I want to see exactly what it says.
Hiiri (to Poppy): Yes, of course... I brought it back with me. It was sitting on the hall table.
Poppy (to Victor, Vincent & Hiiri): I think it's a partial bluff & they don't have Persephone. She just wants you riled up. Bernard & Molly took the kids to visit her family in Northern Britannia, I'm sure she's ok. They haven't been in New London for the last week, so Starling couldn't have grabbed her.
Vincent (to Poppy): Well, that makes things a little easier. We know they're not holding her hostage on the other side.
Poppy (to Vincent): Yes, but it doesn't answer the question of how they knew about Yoyo or where to find her.
Vincent (to Poppy): I have a guess, lover. Who do we know who not only knows where to find Yoyo, but also her connection to us? Someone who doesn't care all that much for us, I might add. (to Hiiri) Come here. Thank you for keeping Victor from doing anything foolish, hun. Please don't do anything idiotic yourself?
Poppy (to Vincent): Would they really sell out their daughter to CLANNG? Wait... Why am I even asking. Of course, they would.
Hiiri (to Vincent): I-- I won't. I just thought he'd be missed more than I would, so if anyone should go, it might as well be me.
Vincent (to Poppy): There are some honor issues, so I wouldn't be surprised. (to Hiiri) Do NOT say that, young lady.
Poppy (to Vincent): Some people really shouldn't be allowed to breed, lover. (to Vincent, Victor & Hiiri) If anyone is going, sweeties, it's going to be Vincent or I. Preferably both of us.
Vincent (to Poppy): For this run, I think it should be both of us, lover. We need to remind CLANNG why they do NOT come after our family. Is Percy still here? He might as well make himself useful.
Poppy (to Vincent): I agree, honey... Percy is in the pantry. I had to shut him down, he was irritating me. I'll go get him.
Vincent (to Poppy): Ooo. He's going to be a bucket of sunshine, isn't he? (to Hiiri & Victor) I am going to ask something very, VERY difficult of you two. We need you to stay here.
Hiiri (to Vincent): But, we can help.
Vincent (to Hiiri): I know you can. But, we need to know you're safe. The apartment is shielded, and has alarms in place. This is the safest place you can be right now. Besides, you may need to rescue us. ;-)
Hiiri (to Vincent): I hope that's supposed to be a joke.
Vincent (to Hiiri): It is. We'll be fine. Don't worry. Can you keep an eye on Victor for me, hun? CLANNG wants you both, he's not thinking clearly, and more likely to do something stupid. And we don't want them getting what they want, do we?
Hiiri (to Vincent): Yes sir. I'll try my best.
Vincent (to Hiiri): Thank you, Hiiri. Keep the boys safe. I'm afraid it may be a trial. Feel free to order some pizza if you want.
Hiiri (to Vincent): It'll be fine. Please, be careful.
Vincent (to Hiiri): Oh! Don't worry, hun. We'll be back before you can miss us. We'll be careful.
Poppy (to Vincent): Are we ready to go, lover? Percy is happy to help… Well, not so much as happy, as programmed to listen to me.
Vincent (to Poppy): I will as soon as young Miss Hiiri stops hugging me.
Hiiri (to Vincent & Poppy): Sorry, sorry. Just please don't die.
Poppy (to Hiiri): Honey, we're not going to die. We're what happens to other people. (to Victor) Victor honey, I promise we'll bring Yoyo back in one piece. Okay?
Victor (to Poppy): I know you will, Mom. Thank you.
Poppy (to Victor): Just please stay put. The last thing we need is to be worrying about you two getting yourself hurt or worse. Give us four hours and if we haven't returned or contacted you... then, you can be the cavalry.
Victor (to Poppy): Yes, ma'am.
Poppy (to Percy & Vincent): Alright, let's go make CLANNG have a very bad day.
Vincent (to Poppy): With pleasure.
Hiiri (to Victor): So, what should we do while we wait? Wanna raid the liquor cabinet?
Victor (to Hiiri): No. My parents keep an eye on the liquor cabinet. I've got a jar of my uncle's rotgut in my room. It's not good, but it'll do the trick.
Hiiri (to Victor): Sounds good to me... How are you holding up?
Victor (to Hiiri): I'm alright now. Ask me in four hours if we haven't heard from my mom and dad. I mean, I'm not entirely alright. I'm just trying not to freak out yet. How are you?
Hiiri (to Victor): Concerned about Yoyo, but kinda glad that no one else was home or it could have been a lot worse. I hope she's okay. Where the hell is Nate? I was told to keep an eye on him, too.
Victor (to Hiiri): He's at work. He's alright. His energy signature is almost impossible to detect, and no one knows he's related to me. Jesus.
Hiiri (to Victor): Oh right. I need to call him, he was going to meet me after work at the house. It's probably best if he comes back here.
Victor (to Hiiri): Yeah. That's not a bad idea, just in case someone is watching my aunt and uncle's house.
Victor (to Hiiri): We should shut the portals. I can't... I don't want the people I love to always be in danger because they know me.
Hiiri (to Victor): But, what side would we stay on? I mean, you & your family. This side or that one?
Victor (to Hiiri): I don't know.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Hey Nate, Something came up and I'm back over at Vincent & Poppy's house. So, head that way when you're done with work...
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. Couldn't stand to be away from me for long, could you?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): You got it in one... I'm currently laying in your bed smelling your pillow. :-P
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Gross. Don't get any of your lady fluids on my bedding! I'll see you soon.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Awww, you ruin all of my fun... See you soon.
Victor (to Hiiri): We should shut the portals. I can't... I don't want the people I love to always be in danger because they know me.
Hiiri (to Victor): But, what side would we stay on? I mean, you & your family. This side or that one?
Victor (to Hiiri): I don't know.
Hiiri (to Victor): Well, Nate's taken care of, so we don't have to worry about him stumbling into something weird over there... You seriously, are willing to close the portals? I mean, it may be only a few months or years or quite possibly permanent. That's a pretty hefty sacrifice to make... and one that you should think about long & hard before you decide to do it.
Victor (to Hiiri): I know. If everything turns out OK, ask me again tomorrow. But, if something happens to Yoyo, or my mom, or dad, just because of some STUPID thing I can do... I don't want anyone getting hurt because of me. Not if I can do something about it. It's going to suck. Shit. It's going to MORE than suck, but still...
Hiiri (to Victor): Wait... Um, what if I knew why Carver is after skippers? Would that possibly help?
Victor (to Hiiri): It might. What the fuck does he want with us? He's been getting along perfectly well without us for years.
Hiiri (to Victor): I think he got a hold of something that the other Hiiri had been trying to get her hands on for quite some time… She'd been looking for pieces to a map to a place called the 'Isle of Doors'. Supposedly, it's an island full of portals. The legend is they are the master portals. And, if he had skippers, he could control them all without a device.
Victor (to Hiiri): Christ... Yeah. I guess that would make us pretty fucking appealing suddenly. Maybe we could find the island ourselves and blow it right the fuck up. Shit... I think I had more of this than I should have.
Hiiri (to Victor): Heh. That's assuming the island even exists... But, what if we did find it first? I mean, CLANNG wouldn't care about us, anymore & we wouldn't have to close the gateway here... God, what is this stuff made of? Should I be this drunk after one sip?
Victor (to Hiiri): I have no idea what it is. Seph's dad is the size of a small bear, so yes. Probably. Shit. I hope nothing goes wrong. We will have to go rescue my parents drunk. That seems like a TERRIBLE idea. Or maybe a good one. No. Terrible.
Hiiri (to Victor): God... That would be terrible. Is it hot in here? I'm roasting...
Victor (to Hiiri): Um, not really. Is this the first time you've been drunk?
Hiiri (to Victor): Oh... um, yes, I think so. Does that matter?
Victor: Jesus. Well done, Victor. Really, well done. (to Hiiri) Oh, oh shit. Yes. I'm sorry! I would have never given you anything as strong as this shit then.
Hiiri (to Victor): Is something going to happen to me? Am I dying? I think I'm going to lay down on the floor... right here.
Victor (to Hiiri): Calm down. You're not dying. You're just drunk. Come on. Get up. We'll get some water in you.
Hiiri (to Victor): You're really quite handsome, you know? I mean, a little too frou-frou for my taste... But, I can see why girls fawn all over you and why Nate is a little bit jealous of you. I mean, he's supposed to be the gay one and yet, you fit the stereotype way more than he does. Why am I babbling so much? I'm sorry... This isn't like me at all.
Victor (to Hiiri): Well, my parents are good-looking aren't they? I mean, don't get me wrong, I have no problem hearing it but I have about as much control over it as the fucking portal skipping. Am I frou-frou? I don't think I have a very good basis for comparison. You're babbling because you're drunk.
Hiiri (to Victor): How come I'm a babbling drunk & you seem fine? So, not fair.
Victor (to Hiiri): Seph said I just get relaxed when I'm drunk, not talkative. I think it's because I'm pretty straightforward most of the time.
Hiiri (to Victor): I-- I think I have a little crush on Nate, which is completely asinine on my part... Why did I say that out loud? Oh god, that guy was right. I AM his fag hag... I want to die. That is so embarrassing. I am so embarrassed. Just shoot me.
Victor (to Hiiri): Ha ha ha! You're not his fag hag. ... Well, maybe just a bit, but it's not like it's not all that embarrassing. Really. You're not really sure of yourself right now, and he's easy for you to have a crush on, because he's safe. You can crush on him all you want, and you know he won't do anything about it. You'll get over it once you're ready.
Hiiri (to Victor): I will? That's good to know... Please, don't tell him I said all that, he would never let me live it down.
Victor (to Hiiri): I wouldn't tell him that! He'd be an utter ass about it. Don't worry. Mum's the word. Do you really think he's jealous of me?
Hiiri (to Victor): I'm fairly certain. He didn't say it in so many words, but I think he's upset that your parents love you unconditionally & accept you for who you are. He didn't get any of that at home... Plus, his parents are tools, while yours are the coolest.
Some time later:
Poppy (to Vincent, Percy, Yukiko): Well, that was certainly a thing, wasn't it? Percy, set Yoyo on the couch... gently.
Percy (to Poppy): Yes, ma'am... I'm still impressed by the way you didn't shoot Yoyo's brother.
Poppy (to Percy): Hush you... Thank you for your help, honey & please, don't take this the wrong way, but get out of here, right now.
Percy (to Poppy): Fine.
Poppy (to Hiiri & Victor): Hey kids! We're back & we have company.
Victor (to Poppy): MOM! Are you alright? Is Dad alright? Where's Yoyo?
Poppy (to Victor): We're all fine, honey. Yoyo's on the couch. She's a bit freaked out. Are you two ok? Why does it smell like Bernard's shed in here?
Victor (to Poppy): What happened?! Um, I'm sorry. Seph gave me some of Uncle Bernard's, um, nerve tonic since I was having so many headaches. And we had a nip to take the edge off. I didn't realize Hiiri hadn't ever really had anything to drink before.
Poppy (to Victor): Is that what he's calling it these days? That is moonshine... Pass me the jar, honey, I could use some nerve tonic.
Victor (to Poppy): It's what Seph is calling it. Here you are.
Poppy (to Victor): Thank you, honey... Gah! That is just how I remembered it. From now on, please just take booze from the liquor cabinet. This stuff will make you go blind or at least, wish you were. It's almost as bad as Capt. Birdie's. Go see to your girlfriend & we'll talk about what happened later. (to Hiiri) Hiiri sweetie? Would you like a hand up or are you planning on doing an impression of a rug from now on?
Victor (to Poppy): Yes, ma'am.
Meanwhile, in the living room:
Victor (to Yukiko): Oh god! Yoyo! Are you alright? I'm so sorry!
Yukiko (to Victor): Yeah, I'm fine... I totally did what your mom told me to do in that situation. I just hadn't expected it to be one of my brothers helping... I mean, I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I still was.
Victor (to Yukiko): One of your brothers.... Jesus.
Yukiko (to Victor): Yeah... Apparently, my family cut a deal with CLANNG to get my parents out of prison.
Victor (to Yukiko): What? Oh. Oh! In return for me, I guess. Shit... Fuck! I'm sorry, Yoyo. I'm so, so sorry.
Yukiko (to Victor): It's okay, Victor, really. Why do you think I've been taking lessons with your mom? I knew it was going to come to this one day. And, I don't think my former family will be bothering me, anymore.
Victor (to Yukiko): Are you OK? What happened?
Yukiko (to Victor): I--I fought my brother and well, I don't think I killed him. But, he'll think twice about messing with his "helpless" sister. It was a bit of a blur, everything happened so fast. Your parents & Percy came out of nowhere. Percy shot Starling with something that deactivated her. The other guards went towards your parents. Daisuke was about to shoot your father & I stopped him. Then, they all ran through the portal & we got the heck out of there. I'm sure your parents can tell it better.
Victor (to Yukiko): It's fine. Thank you. For stopping your brother from shooting my dad, I mean. I'm so sorry that this happened. I'm so, so sorry..
Yukiko (to Victor): This wasn't your fault, Victor. I certainly don't blame you. Please, don't beat yourself up over it.
Victor (to Yukiko): I suppose not. I'm just glad you're OK. I was more than a little terrified. I was ready to agree to whatever Starling said.
Yukiko (to Victor): Well, I'm glad you didn't... I'd miss you.
Victor (to Yukiko): I'm so glad you're alright...
Meanwhile, back in Victor's room:
Hiiri (to Poppy): I think I'll be a rug for a little longer... Is everyone okay?
Poppy (to Hiiri): Yes, all back in one piece.
Vincent (to Poppy): Everything is back in the socket where it belongs, lover. Phew! What on earth are you drinking? We have REAL alcohol. (to Hiiri) Hun? Are you alright?
Poppy (to Vincent): I know, honey, I was feeling nostalgic & then, I realized that I liked my ability to taste things.
Hiiri (to Vincent): Shhhhh, I'm being a rug.
Vincent (to Poppy): Good God, I should hope so. Let me make you something more palpable. (to Hiiri) Hee hee hee. well we DO need a new kitchen rug. Come on, sweetie. Up and at 'em. Let's get some water and aspirin in you.
Poppy (to Vincent): You are a wonderful husband, honey... And, we seem to have acquired more children today. How are we going to handle this?
Vincent (to Hiiri): Come on, hun. Into the chair. Drink this. TRUST ME. You'll want to. (to Poppy) You did say you wanted another baby, hun. Hee hee! Don't! Don't shoot me, woman! You'll be a widow and a single mother!
Hiiri (to Vincent): Oh right... Thank you. Are you okay? You didn't get stabbed or shot again, did you?
Poppy (to Vincent): You are very lucky that I love you, honey.
Vincent (to Poppy): I'm infinitely lucky you love me. (to Hiiri) I don't get shot or stabbed EVERY time, you know. Sometimes I get dislocated shoulders. :-P Awww, don't worry, hun, it's my bad one. It's a bit more delicate than it probably should be. It's back where it should be.
Hiiri (to Vincent): That's good, I guess... I don't think I like being drunk.
Vincent (to Hiiri): It can be fun, but, uh, not until you're 21, AND only under very specific circumstances. Heh. That don't involve moonshine.
Poppy (to Vincent): I'm going to fix dinner, I'm sure everyone could use some. Why don't you sort out the sleeping arrangements for the night? I've got Percy over at Mouse & Eep's making sure it's safe.
Hiiri (to Vincent): I will never drink that stuff again... It was terrible. And, I think my tongue is numb.
Vincent (to Poppy): Will do, lover. You realize we're going to have to let Yoyo sleep in Victor's room tonight, don't you? (to Hiiri) Hee hee. I will remind you that you said that next time you get drunk. Come on. I'm afraid you're crashing on the couch.
Poppy (to Vincent): Yes, honey... I'm not happy about it, but it'll make things a thousand times easier.
Vincent (to Poppy): I know. But it will make the space work, and honestly, she can probably use someone to keep her company tonight. (to Hiiri) Let's go, sweetie. Do you need a bucket?
Poppy (to Vincent): Not to mention, our son will be hovering and worrying, otherwise... God, I just they realize that we are too young to be grandparents.
Hiiri (to Vincent): Okay. Like there's going to be a next time. I'm a teetotaler from now on... I don't think I need a bucket.
A moment later, in the living room:
Vincent (to Hiiri): Hee hee hee. I think I said that every time I drank too much at your age too. Somehow it never stopped me. Lay down, sweetie. (to Yukiko & Victor) Sorry to interrupt you two, but Hiiri is doing a little poorly, and needs to lay down. Is your cousin home?
Hiiri (to Vincent): Thank you...
Victor (to Vincent): Not yet. He should be home in about 30 minutes or so. Hiiri told him to make sure to come here. (to Hiiri) Sorry, Hiiri. I didn't mean to get you sick.
Hiiri (to Victor): It's okay, I didn't realize I hadn't drank before now... Stupid brain.
Vincent (to Yukiko): Hun, do you mind staying with Victor tonight? Space is a bit at a premium. I mean, not that I think you mind all THAT much...
Yukiko (to Vincent): Oh... It's fine with me.
Hiiri (to Victor): Heehee, if your eyes get any wider, they're going to fall out of your head.
Victor (to Hiiri): Hush. No one asked you to chime in, Drunky McGee.
Vincent (to Yukiko, Hiiri & Victor): Mmmm. I'll leave you lot to get settled in for the night, then. I don't know about you, kids, but I'm beat. (to Victor) I will remind you that your mother & me, your cousin, and Hiiri are all sharing a very small space with you.
Victor (to Vincent): DAD!
Yukiko (to Vincent): We'll behave.
Vincent (to Yukiko & Victor): I didn't mean that you should do something as dreadful as behave, just that you should be quiet. :-P
Victor (to Yukiko & Vincent): Oh my God...
Yukiko (to Vincent): I really have no response to that… Thank you again for the rescue.
Vincent (to Yukiko): Of course! We'll always have your back, hun. We may not always be the most sane of families, but we have our strong suits.
Poppy (to Vincent, Victor, Hiiri & Yukiko): If you're hungry, there's shepherd's pie cooling on the stove... I am going to take a bath.
Vincent (to Poppy): You are a saint, hun. I think I'm going to lay down. (to Victor, Hiiri & Yukiko) Good night, kids.
Hiiri (to Vincent): Good night.
Yukiko (to Victor): I'm not really hungry, do you mind if I go curl up in your bed?
Victor (to Yukiko): No, of course not. I'm going to grab something to eat, and I'll be right in. (to Hiiri) Are you up to eating?
Yukiko (to Victor): Okay... (to Hiiri) Good night, Hiiri. I hope you feel better.
Hiiri (to Victor): I'll have a little... I don't think I can get up, though. (to Yukiko) I do, too.
Victor (to Hiiri): I've got it.
Hiiri (to Victor): Thank you. (to Nathaniel) NATE! You're home... I missed you.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Uh huh... Why the hell do you smell like a brewery?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): I'm drunk... I've never been drunk before... I don't think I like it very much.
Victor (to Nathaniel): Glad to see you made it home, Nate. She's too drunk. If she looks like she might be sick, she will be. Get her to the bathroom. (to Nathaniel & Hiiri) If you guys don't mind, I'm going to head to my room. I'll see you later.
Hiiri (to Victor): Have fun! :-P
Victor (to Hiiri): Hush!
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): So why were you and Victor getting Not Fun Drunk?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Oh... someone grabbed Yoyo, the parentals went to handle it & made us stay here, so we drank. But, it's all better, now... I'm not but the situation is, I mean. Nothing to worry about... God… Why do people like this? Oh, there's food, if you're hungry... It's pretty good.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. Don't ask me. I was generally trying to kill myself slowly when I drank. I'm gonna grab something to eat. Do you want some ginger ale or something?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Oh, um, sure. Ginger ale would be good.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Here you go. So someone grabbed Yoyo? Jesus... That explains why Victor looks like he swallowed a snake. So what's up with you? You're acting almost demure. Someone might mistake you for an actual lady-type.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): It's nothing. You don't want to hear about it. Trust me. It's stupid & you're just going to call me an idiot. And, I know I'm being an idiot. I'll get over it. Thanks for the ginger ale.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Sure. Hey, I wouldn't call you an idiot unless you were being an idiot. ... You know I'm only fucking with you, right? Did somebody say something to you or something? Did Victor open his stupid, limey mouth?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): No, it's nothing like that... It's just I-- I realized that I have a crush on someone that I shouldn't... Or maybe it's just cuz I'm drunk and it's been a weird day... That's probably what it is. Don't worry about it.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Ah. Heh heh. I gotcha. Don't worry; I understand. He won't seem as intriguing tomorrow when you sober up.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): He won't? Who do you think I'm talking about?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Victor. Don't worry, I won't tell him. The last thing that boy needs is more stroking of his ego.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Oh... It wasn't Victor, but don't worry about it. Like I said, I'll get over it.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Oh, come off it. Who else? I said I wouldn't tell him, didn't I? Calm down. I'm not going to give you a hard time. Honestly, and if you tell anyone I said this, I will smother you with a pillow in your sleep, he's not too hard on the eyes. Watching him and his dad practice fencing yesterday was... awkward. Tragedy about his personality. ;-)
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): God no, he's way too frou-frou for my taste... I clearly have a type, it's probably in my genes & he is most definitely not it. Look, it doesn't matter who it is. It's pretty much pointless, I am very much not his type & it's probably just because he's nice to me. I'll get over it.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Of course it is. Who else... It doesn't matter. Whoever he is, I'm sure he's a moron. Why don't we watch a movie until you sober up and we can be bitchy about how stupid the main characters are?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Okay… Thanks, Nate, for not making fun of me.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): I might be a dick, but I'm not THAT big a dick. Everyone crushes on someone they shouldn't. God fucking knows I did it. Take a wild guess who I had the biggest hard-on for last year in school.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Um, a teacher or the captain of the football team?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Close, but worse: the star of the wrestling team. He and his friends beat the SHIT out of me after I made a pass at him. In my defense, those uniforms? Pretty fucking gay looking. And I'm saying that as a man who's had a cock in his mouth.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Heh... yeah, it's not surprising you would think that about him. What with all the grabbing & wrestling going on.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): THANK YOU. That's what I thought. Apparently, no one else seemed to follow this train of thinking. Heh. Of course, I was just the tiniest bit wasted when I did it. Might have been a mitigating factor. :-P
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): I think most sports look a bit gay... Polo, Tennis, Football. Clearly, it's all an elaborate ruse.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Ha ha ha! Don't I wish? Also, polo is the gayest shit ever.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Quite possibly... I'm glad I have a bit more self-control than that, right now, being drunk and all.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Yeah, well, you're smarter than I am. What can I say? Here's a tip: don't mix drugs, alcohol and anti-psychotics.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Good advice... Can I ask you a question?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Yeah, sure. If you absolutely must. I'm just kidding. You are not a fun drunk. What do you wanna know?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): I'm a fun drunk, I think... I just don't want to do anything stupid and have some stuff on my mind. Um, when did you know you liked boys? Did you always know? Or was it a sudden revelation?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Well, one day, I was swinging on the swings, and I thought to myself, "Wow. Being a white, hetero male sure is boring. I should try hopping on a cock." Shit. I'm sorry. This is... I've answered this question a lot in my life. Usually the people asking had clipboards and concerned looks. Yeah. I pretty much always knew. I mean, when I was little, it wasn't like I was humping other little kids or anything. But, I always had crushes on other boys, and when I got older... That's when my parents became "concerned."
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Yeah, I figured as much... I'm such an idiot. Actually, I'm a huge fucking idiot... I need a cigarette. I'll be back.
Nathaniel: Shit...
Hiiri: Damn it... I don't have any cigarettes. I wonder, how long I can stand out here before he notices I'm not smoking?
A few minutes later:
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Hey. You kinda need a cigarette to smoke, you know. Here. Look. I know I'm the last person you wanna talk to right now.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Thanks... Look, I know what you're going to say. "You like cock, I don't have one, blah, blah, blah." I know it's dumb & completely ridiculous on my part. I also, know that it's just because you've been nice to me & I'm very lost... So, just save your breath. I'll work through it soon enough... It's my first crush. I'm sure, I'll have plenty more.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. You will. I wasn't gonna say any of that shit, you know. Just cause you know something logically doesn't mean you can help how you feel. Fuck. I lived in a small town in Mississippi. Shockingly, not many of my crushes returned my affection. It feels like shit to like someone who doesn't like you back.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Yeah well, thank you, but it doesn't really help when the person you're crushing on, is the one telling you all that... Just so you know for future reference.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Yeah well... Fuck off. I can't know everything, alright? You're the first girl I've done this with. :-P
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Really? I find that hard to believe... None of your female friends ever told you they had crushes on you. Heh. I bet every single one of them did & were all hoping they'd be the one to bring you back from the lure of the cock.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): If they did, they were smart enough to keep their mouth shut. They also failed miserably to break me of my dick habit.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Well, I said I was an huge fucking idiot. Thank you for proving my point.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): That's not what I meant and you fucking know it. I was trying to be fucking flippant because I don't know what else to say.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Why do you feel the need to say anything to me? All it does is make me feel pitiful. It's my problem, I'll deal with it. I don't know why it was you in the first place. I mean, you're a mean-spirited, snarky, gay boy... It would have been much easier if it had been Victor or hell, Oliver. He's not straight, but he's not completely bent, either.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Fine. I just... I just didn't want your version of dealing with it to stop talking to me, but what the fuck ever.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Wait... Nate, I'm sorry. That was uncalled for on my part. I don't want to stop talking to you. This is just all new to me. I never had anyone that I cared about that was all mine, not someone else's memories. I'm sorry. As much as this is weird for me. I wasn't thinking about how you felt. I just assumed you wouldn't care & make fun of me with a smartass remark.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Of course I fucking care... I told you I liked hanging out with you, didn't I? I just... Christ. This is fucking awkward, isn't it?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Yeppers, pretty damn awkward.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): So now what the fuck do we do? I mean, I don't give a shit if you lust after me for a little bit. You can hardly be blamed. And I'm sure the more you get to know me, the less interesting I'm gonna be.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Ok. I've got a crazy idea. It should help to speed up getting over my crush on you. I'll need your help, If you're willing. I mean, it's kinda cheesy stupid but, I think it'll work. And, then we can go back to being just snarky friends.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Yeah. What is it?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Ummm, we kiss... From what I can remember that is the quickest way to get over someone, at least it was for Mouse and I made from her. I have a very vivid memory of Mouse kissing a boy she liked for two years & after the kiss, was completely over him... No chemistry + no spark = no crush. It's up to you, though. If you're not willing, we won't do it.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Oh. Uh... Jesus. Sure. What the fuck? There's a first time for everything, right?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Wow... You're just full of surprises, today. I thought for sure you were going to tell me to fuck off.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): I might still... Look, a kiss is nothing, right? And, if you think this will help...
A moment later:
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): ... So, um, okay... Still gay?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Yeah. Sorry. Still interested? Or did that awkward, horrible kiss just fuel your desire for me even more?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Nope, I think I'm good... I seriously hope you don't kiss guys you like, like that.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. You're the first one to complain. Of course, you're also the first girl. So, um, are we alright?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Yeah, we're good. Thanks for humoring me... Oh my god, that was my first kiss. I so need to find a boy who wants to kiss me. Otherwise, I'm going to be a crazy cat lady that goes around kissing gay men... That's a terrible thought.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Seriously. Go find someone who wants to make out on you, already! Stop trying to kiss awkward queers.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Well, how can I? When none of them can compare to you... God, I'm exhausted. I think this was enough drama for one day. I am going to sleep like the dead.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Yeah. I can imagine. Just think, for the rest of your life, you'll be comparing every kiss to your first. And they will all be better. I'm, uh, gonna smoke another cigarette, I think. Night.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Heh... Good night, Nate.
