Mouse (to Eep): It's just breakfast... I made you some strong ass coffee just the way you like it.
Eep (to Mouse): Well, "just breakfast" smells pretty damn amazing. How'd you sleep?
Mouse (to Eep): Actually pretty darn good. How about you?
Eep (to Mouse): I slept alright. Looks like it's gonna be another shitty day today. I'm glad I don't have to walk to work in that shit. Hey, um, I was thinking... You know how Poppy, uh, RoboPoppy I mean, gave us her car when we got married in Bizarro Land? What would you think if we gave it back to regular Poppy? I mean, her & Vincent just had the kid, so they could probably use it. I mean, that car Vincent drives doesn't have any airbags or antilock breaks or anything, so it's probably safer for the kid.
Mouse (to Eep): I think that would be very sweet of you. I'm absolutely fine with giving it back to her. We don't really need two cars. You do realize that I'm going to make you tell them? :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. I figured I don't drive most days, and I got along fine without one for most of the years I lived here. Wait. What? Why? Wouldn't it be easier if you did it?
Mouse (to Eep): Heh... Easier for you, maybe. You know, it's okay for you to show them that you care about them. They care about you, grumpy man.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. Yeah. I know.
Mouse (to Eep): C'mere... If you won't do it, I will. I'd hate for you to ruin your reputation as a misanthrope. :-P
Eep (to Mouse): ... Fine. I'll do it. I kinda think that was your plan from the beginning though.
Mouse (to Eep): What do you mean? I didn't have a plan.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh yeah? You weren't trying to get me to agree to tell Vincent and Poppy about the car this whole time?
Mouse (to Eep): Heehee, well yes. But it wasn't really a plan, per se, more like a suggestion.
Eep (to Mouse): No. It's just that, they'll... I mean, I... No. I guess not.
Mouse (to Eep): Honestly, Is it really so terrible to go tell them that you wanted to do something nice for them? Wow... I don't think I've ever seen anyone pout about being nice. You are a strange man. I love you. :-)
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Yeah, well... If I wasn't a strange guy, you wouldn't like me.
Mouse (to Eep): That is very true... How's your pancakes?
Eep (to Mouse): Really, really good. Seriously. I'm going to get fat.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, enjoy them because we have to do dinner with Wanda tonight... so this maybe the last decent meal we ever have. :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Oh God... You're right. We're in trouble, aren't we?
Mouse (to Eep): More than likely... Though, she said she wasn't going to cook. But, what does that mean? Can Robert cook?
Eep (to Mouse): Kinda. I mean, he can cook some stuff as far as I know, but he doesn't do it a lot.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh... Well, it was nice knowing you... We're going to die.
Eep (to Mouse): All the shit we've gone through, and it's dinner with Wanda that kills us.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh, the irony!
Eep (to Mouse): Oh the indigestion. Wanna watch a movie and enjoy our last day together?
Mouse (to Eep): Sounds good... Oh, I forgot to tell you. There was a message for you, yesterday. Some guy named Zack Taylor called said he was from some gallery. I think he said Tenebroso. He said he went to Piedmont with you & was returning your call. I told him I'd give you the message & you'd call him back.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh. Uh. Right.
Mouse (to Eep): That's all you're going to say? Some guy I've never heard you mention before, who just happens to work at a gallery calls & all you say is 'Oh. right.'? Wow... So, there's nothing you want to tell me?
Eep (to Mouse): Um, I may have contacted him about... I mean, I've got all these damn paintings cluttering up your studio and... I don't know that he's gonna want any of them, or anything, you know. I... I didn't want to tell you in case he said no, and... Um, I'm kinda embarrassed.
Mouse (to Eep): Why are you embarrassed? ... I'm actually impressed and a little bit proud. Even if he says no. I'm impressed that you actually contacted a gallery about your work. And, he'd be an idiot to say no. I think those paintings are fantastic. I mean, I don't know much about art, but if I saw them somewhere I'd stop & admire them.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Thanks. We'll see.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, I'm still impressed, either way... Come on, the couch is calling our name.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. Sounds good to me.
A couple hours later:
Poppy (to Vincent): Shopping for a wedding dress is quite exhausting, honey. But, I'm so happy that we found the perfect one. Thank you for helping me with it!
Vincent (to Poppy): It was my pleasure, lover. The Little Man & I had fun. You know how much I enjoy shopping. Heh. You're going to look gorgeous.
Poppy (to Vincent): Speaking of the little man... Someone needs to get fed & put down for a nap. (to Victor) And I think it's you, my little one.
Vincent (to Poppy): I dunno, hun. Food and a nap sounds pretty good to me too. Hee hee. Though, I should probably get us some supplies for dinner and talk to the Professor.
Poppy (to Vincent): Well, how about you do that, I'll take care of the little mister & we meet on the couch in an hour or so, lover?
Vincent (to Poppy): That sounds divine, lover. Any requests for dinner?
Poppy (to Vincent): Something simple & light. It's too hot to do any serious cooking, honey.
Vincent (to Poppy): Sounds good. I'll think of something. Miss me while I'm gone?
Poppy (to Vincent): Of course, honey... Hold on. Aren't you forgetting something, lover?
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh? What's that, lover?
Poppy (to Vincent): A kiss goodbye? ... Not even married a year & you already forget. :-P
Vincent (to Poppy): As if I would leave without kissing you.
Poppy (to Vincent): ... Now, hurry back, lover.
Vincent (to Poppy): Heh. Aye, aye, ma'am!
Fifteen minutes later:
Vincent (to Ripper): Professor! I was just about to try to track you down. You've saved me a trip.
Ripper (to Vincent): Oh? Hey Captain! I was out for a jog... What's going on?
Vincent (to Ripper): I wanted to ask you a favor actually. If now is a bad time, I can catch up with you later.
Ripper (to Vincent): Oh no, it's fine with me. I just hope you don't mind me being sweaty & gross. I like to jog down to the river & back. You just caught me about to head home. So, what's this favor? Is this something to do with my big fuck up from the other day?
Vincent (to Ripper): Oh. No, not at all. You've seen me in worse states. And it has nothing to do with the debacle in Britannia the other day. Of course, if I were a crueler man, I could totes use your sense of guilt against you and make you say yes...
Ripper (to Vincent): Well, I'm thankful you're not a cruel man.
Vincent (to Ripper): Hee hee hee. No, I'm not. Well, the short version is that Poppy and I are planning on getting married. On this side, I mean. Professor, I mean, Jacob, um, would you mind being a groomsman in my wedding?
Ripper (to Vincent): Oh... Wow... I'm speechless... Oh sorry... I'd be honored. I have to say I was not expecting that to be the favor. I'm glad that was it, don't get me wrong.
Vincent (to Ripper): Oh! Thank you! Besides Eep and my sister, I didn't know who else I could ask. This means a lot to us, thank you... Wait. What favor were you expecting that I would ask for? Or don't I want to know?
Ripper (to Vincent): I had no real idea, I was just braced for it being something terrible. I'm really touched that you asked me. Just let me know if there's anything you need help with.
Vincent (to Ripper): Hee hee. Well, I'm glad you didn't find it a terrible request, then. Thanks again, Professor. I'll let you get back to jogging. I've got to go fetch dinner for the already-slash-soon-to-be-missus. See you later, tater!
Ripper (to Vincent): See you later, Captain!
A few hours later:
Mouse (to Wanda & Robert): Knock, knock... We're here for dinner. We brought a bottle of wine & some beer for Robert. Hello?
Robert (to Mouse): Hey! Come on in. Wanda's off prepping the apartment and being "hostess." What that entails exactly, I have no idea. It's better not to ask I've found. You two have impeccable timing. Dinner is almost served.
Mouse (to Robert): Oh good... Eep was just finishing up his cigarette.
Eep (to Robert): So who the hell made dinner? How scared do we have to be?
Mouse (to Eep): Heh.
Robert (to Mouse & Eep): Heh heh. Calm down. We ordered food from the local Cuban place. We're just reheating it.
Mouse (to Eep & Robert): Heehee. Sorry. Eep has told me horror stories about Wanda trying to cook & we were concerned.
Wanda (to Eep, Mouse & Robert): Hey! My cooking isn't that bad!
Mouse (to Wanda): I'm just going on what I've been told.
Eep (to Wanda): Yes it is.
Robert (to Wanda): Wanda, your cooking is utterly inedible.
Wanda (to Mouse, Eep & Robert): Oh fine! You're right. I can't cook! That's why the gods invented takeout anyhoo. So Mister and Missus, are you ready to eat?
Eep (to Mouse): So far, so good.
Mouse (to Wanda): Oh yes... I heard the words Cuban food & I suddenly became starving.(to Eep) Heehee. As long as she doesn't ask us embarrassing questions, it should be a pleasant evening.
Wanda (to Mouse, Robert & Eep): Well, get the lead outa your pants, then. Ooo! Is that wine? Awesome! I'll get us some glasses... OK. Wine & food for everyone. There's rice and beans, Cuban bread with garlic and butter & plantains.
Mouse (to Wanda): It smells delicious...
Wanda (to Mouse, Eep & Robert): Shall we toast? Let's toast! To the new couple! I'm super happy for you both, and wish you all the happiness you deserve! Also, thank the gods Eep is FINALLY getting laid! Mazel tov!
Mouse (to Wanda): WHAT!?! Oh god, I can't believe you just said that, Wanda.
Wanda (to Mouse): What? You didn't know him when he was in his "celibate jackass" stage.
Robert (to Eep & Mouse): I hate to agree with Wanda, but she has a point.
Eep (to Robert & Wanda): Gee, thanks.
Mouse (to Robert & Wanda): Heh... Well, that certainly explains a lot... Oh, I really shouldn't drink before I eat. So, I'm curious, what exactly constitutes a "celibate jackass"?
Wanda (to Mouse): He was hiding in his room, having zero sex, zero dates, and generally being SUPER surly.
Mouse (to Wanda): That sounds terrible... And, hard to believe, but I know that Vincent used to say the same thing about him. I just thought it was because he wouldn't give Vincent the time of day... Oh... We should probably change the subject before he kills us.
Robert (to Eep): Don't make that face. You're a married man. You have lost the option of asking us not to reveal embarrassing stories.
Mouse (to Robert): Are there more? I can't imagine there's too many if all he did was hide out in his room. (to Eep) What? I can't help but be a little curious. They've known you a lot longer than I have.
Robert (to Mouse): Heh heh. For someone who tried to avoid human contact as much as possible, there are plenty of stories.
Eep (to Mouse): Whatever. If you really wanna know, go ahead and ask.
Mouse (to Eep): Really? Well, honestly, I hadn't really thought about specifics... but it's funny to think that you were even more anti-social. And then the whole celibate thing... I mean, I can't imagine you not wanting to do that... Um, I'm going to shut up now.
Eep (to Mouse): It wasn't that I didn't want to... I mean, it's just that there weren't like a million opportunities, you know.
Wanda (to Mouse): Oh my GODS, he was TOTES pent up! I mean, he was so up tight that he couldn't even hug me without popping the hugest of boners.
Eep (to Wanda): WANDA!
Mouse (to Wanda, Robert & Eep): HAHAHA... Thank you! You just totally cleared up something that has been bugging me for awhile.
Eep (to Mouse): Um... Cleared up what?
Mouse (to Eep): Oh... I don't think you want me talking about it in front of everyone.
Robert (to Mouse): That's hardly fair, Mrs. Estevez. You've gone and and peaked our curiosity.
Mouse (to Robert): It just had to do with the first night we hung out alone... He ended up stomping off & now I understand why.
Robert (to Eep): The situation got a little too intense for you, did it, lover boy? Ha ha ha!
Mouse (to Robert, Eep & Wanda): Shit... I'm really going to stop talking now. I'm just going to sit here & drink my wine.
Wanda (to Eep): Don't feel bad, Eep. Sure, it made you a little bit nuts, but you had SO much more control than I would have had. I can't even say no to Allan, and that is SO much more embarrassing than popping super sexually frustrated wood. (to Robert) What? What are you laughing about over there, red?
Robert (to Wanda): Nothing. Nothing at all. Call me a bipartisan observer.
Mouse (to Wanda, Robert & Eep): Who's Allan? I thought you were seeing Percy? ... I'm confused.
Robert (to Mouse): Allan is Wanda's bad habit in human form. Whenever he wanders into town, they end up re-involved.
Wanda (to Mouse): He means we end up fucking. And he's going by "Rainbow Star" now.
Mouse (to Wanda): Wow... Rainbow Star... Really? But, you hate hippies. I mean, I've actually seen you cross the street to get away from them.Oh, and when that guy tried to get you to sign some petition, I thought you were going to punch him. I don't think you can pick on Eep about his celibate jerk phase unless he gets to pick on you about Rainbow Ham... I mean, Star.
Wanda (to Mouse): Heh. No, he's exactly as horrible as you think he is. I don't know what it is about him...
Robert (to Wanda): I know what it is about him. Unfortunately, you've informed me at length. Of course, it's not really conversation appropriate for company, is it?
Wanda (to Robert): Hush! (to Mouse) Don't worry. Eep's teased me plenty about it. Though, not about the sex part, because that makes him blush.
Mouse (to Wanda): Heehee... I'm sure it does.
Eep (to Mouse, Wanda & Eep): Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Wanda (to Eep & Mouse): Hee hee hee! Look at him! He's blushing now. He looks adorbz!
Robert (to Wanda): Wanda. I think you've embarrassed Eep & Mouse enough for one evening, don't you?
Mouse (to Wanda): Do you feel better about missing the wedding, now that you've made fun of both of us? :-P
Wanda (to Mouse): Hee hee hee. Maybe a little bit.
Mouse (to Wanda): Glad we could help... Would you like to pick on me before we go? I want to make sure you've got it out of your system.
Wanda (to Mouse & Eep): For reals though, guys. I didn't invite you over here to make fun of you. I'm happy for you. I've never seen my former roomie this happy.
Mouse (to Wanda): Well, he makes me very happy, so I'm glad.
Eep (to Mouse, Wanda & Robert): Um... Yeah. Ditto.
Robert (to Wanda, Eep & Mouse): And on that note, I think it's time we called it a night, don't you, Wanda?
Mouse (to Robert & Wanda): Thank you both for dinner. It was very good. You can keep the beer & the other bottle of wine.
Robert (to Mouse): I'm afraid you're going to have to take the second bottle home with you, madam. Wanda shouldn't be trusted with a full one. Take it home and drink it with your gentleman. He'll probably need some loosening up after this.
Wanda (to Mouse & Eep): Later, taters! Thanks for coming! Don't be strangers!
Mouse (to Robert & Wanda): Heehee, if you insist. See you both later! (to Eep) Come on, husband, let's go home.
A few minutes later:
Eep (to Mouse): So. That was... Yeah.
Mouse (to Eep): Yeah... Do you want to crack open that wine?
Eep (to Mouse): Yes. Yes, I think so. Um, how you doing? Sorry for all of... that.
Mouse (to Eep): Heh... I'm okay. They seemed more fixated on picking on you. I'm sorry if I stepped over the line. I was trying not to get upset about them embarrassing you & punch them. But, I shouldn't have joined in.
Eep (to Mouse): It's alright. They've been doing that for years. I'm not upset.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, that's good... I guess I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that they like to do that to you. I mean, you couldn't have been that terrible or why would Robert live with you for as long as he did? I just don't get it.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Yeah. Robert calls it.. what the fuck does he call it? Oh! "Taking the piss." Apparently, his family mocks each other instead of showing affection like normal people.
Mouse (to Eep): Hmmm... Well, I'd have no problem with it if he was doing it to someone else... And god, Wanda... She really hooks up with a dirty hippie?
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. He does. Trust me. Once he knows you a little better, I'm sure he'll end up going the same to you. I can't even imagine what Ripper puts up with. And yeah, Wanda and Allan... That's a clusterfuck. He's the only one I know of.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, so you wanna curl up in bed & watch a movie?
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. I do. Heh. You're cute when you get all indignant on my behalf, you know.
Mouse (to Eep): Heh. Well, I'm glad you appreciate it.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. I mean, you're crap at defending me apparently, but you're cute when you try.
Mouse (to Eep): Gee, thanks...
Eep (to Mouse): I was just kidding, you know.
Mouse (to Eep): I know. I was just giving you a hard time.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh! Right. Heh. I guess I'm not very good at the whole "taking the piss" thing. I guess I'll have to stick to not expressing myself like a normal person.
Mouse (to Eep): I like it when you express yourself.
Eep (to Mouse): You... You do? Oh. Heh. I guess I have been doing that a lot more more lately.
Mouse (to Eep): Yeah. You do seem a lot more relaxed.
Eep (to Mouse): Guess it must be the company.
Mouse (to Eep): C'mere you.
