Ripper (to Mouse): Oh yeah... Do you think I'm over here too much? I mean, I always call first & see if Robert wants to see me.
Mouse (to Ripper): Calm down, if Robert didn't want you around, he would tell you. He's good like that... Sit, I'll grab you a cup of coffee.
Ripper (to Mouse): Yeah, he is... Thanks.
Mouse (to Ripper): Here... Now, just sit here quietly & enjoy the coffee. I am not quite awake yet.
Ripper (to Mouse): Thanks. God, Lulu was in rar---
Mouse (to Ripper): Shhh. Zip it. I said quietly sit here. No talking.
Ripper (to Mouse): Sorry… How long are we going to sit like this?
Mouse (to Ripper): Until I'm awake & not feeling grumpy... which at this rate is practically never.
Ripper (to Mouse): Alright, alright. Point taken. Thank you for the coffee. I'm just going to go back inside where people like me. :-P
Mouse (to Ripper): :-P
An hour or so later:
Eep (to Mouse): Hey.
Mouse (to Eep): Hey yourself. Coffee's made... I think there's some left.
Eep (to Mouse): Mmm. Coffee?
Mouse (to Eep): Heh... You're not awake, yet. Here, sit down, smoke a cigarette. I'll get you a cup.
Eep (to Mouse): Right. Coffee. Coffee's good.
Vincent (to Eep): Hee hee. Aren't you a ray of glorious morning sunshine?
Eep (to Vincent): What? What the fuck are you talking about? Why are you here?
Vincent (to Eep): Woah. Down boy. Little Man and I are here to baby Wanda. I was told last night I will make with the baby, and I will do it today. I believe the phrases "red hot poker" and "nether regions" were used if I failed to produce.
Eep (to Vincent): Mmmm.
Mouse (to Eep): Here you go... I started another pot. I know I could use some more. (to Vincent) Oh hey, little brother… and how's the little man doing today?
Vincent (to Mouse): He's pooping like a champ. It's terrifying. I'm here to assault your neighbors with the cuteness of my offspring.
Mouse (to Vincent): Where's your lovely wife or is this part of your punishment? :-P
Vincent (to Mouse): Hee hee. No, I volunteered for the first wave. She's got something she's putting together for the Empress, so I'm on baby duty.
Mouse (to Vincent): Well, be warned, there's a full house over there. Ripper already came over to torment me with his early morning chatter & I'm fairly certain Wanda has been holding Percy hostage for the last few days, but I'm not positive.
Vincent (to Mouse): Oh dear. Wish me luck. If I don't return, tell my wife I loved her, and that it was a good life. Farewell!
Mouse (to Vincent): Heehee, Have fun! (to Eep) Now, that he's gone... Can I cuddle up on you in the swing or are you still in the "don't touch me" phase of waking up?
Eep (to Mouse): Huh? Oh. Yeah. That'd be good.
Mouse (to Eep): Are you okay?
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Why? Cause I'm letting you cuddle with me before I'm awake? Yeah. I'm fine. Just thinking. For one, I never thought I'd see all that happen with Vincent. The whole, wife, child, happiness thing.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, some might say the same about us... But, it really seems to suit Vincent. I mean, he's grown up a lot in such a short time. Did you know he never succumbed to being pervy last night, at all? And, Lulu kept baiting him.
Eep (to Mouse): Really? Uh... We're sure that's really Vincent, right?
Mouse (to Eep): Oh... Um, I'm fairly certain.
Eep (to Mouse): Hey. I was just kidding. What's with the face?
Mouse (to Eep): Huh? Oh, sorry... Just remembering the bad dream I had last night.
Eep (to Mouse): Anything you wanna talk about?
Mouse (to Eep): Oh, um, sure... It was just that in all this good stuff was a trick & that I was still being held prisoner by Smythe. I guess my brain is kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop, since things are going so well... I'm not used to that. It was just a bad dream, I'll get over it.
Eep (to Mouse): Christ. I'll say it was a bad dream. C'mere. You can be still be a bit freaked, you know? No one's expecting you to be 100% ASAP. Jesus! Sometimes I feel like Shaggy in a Scooby Doo cartoon, just... loosing my shit over everything all the time. Oh Christ... I even live with a talking pet...
Mouse (to Eep): You stayed up all night and watched Scooby Doo cartoons again, didn't you? :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Uh... Not ALL night. No.
Mouse (to Eep): Heh... You are not Shaggy... because that would make me... I have no idea who that would make me. But, you're nothing like Shaggy. And, I think you're quite capable when dealing with normal crap. Who cares if you don't know how to deal with bizarro world? I bet you if you dropped anyone else in the situations you've been in they'd have done the exact same thing.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah, not anyone. You, your brother, and Ripper all do alright. And Poppy does fine here. It's alright. I came to terms with being useless a while ago. Oh... Shit! That makes me the DAPHNE! Fat Christ!
Mouse (to Eep): Shall I get you a purple sweater & a green scarf? :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah, yeah. Yuck it up. That makes you Fred, you know.
Mouse (to Eep): Eewww... I'd almost rather be Scrappy... almost.
Eep (to Mouse): That is one of the most fucked up things anyone has ever said to me.
Mouse (to Eep): Heehee, at least, I didn't say that I wanted to be Fluttershy. :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah, well... You married me, so there.
Mouse (to Eep): I love you, too.
Percy (to Eep & Mouse): Dear god, sweeties! I don't know how you humans do it... Babies are disgusting!
Eep (to Percy): Percy... Jesus Christ! Your timing sucks.
Percy (to Eep): Oh? I always thought my timing was impeccable... (to Mouse & Eep) OH…I'm sorry. I just had to get away from the little poop machine & the cooing. What is it with women & baby things that make them turn into weirdos? They just lay around being helpless. It's poor planning, if you ask me.
Eep (to Percy): Heh. Uh... I don't think I have an answer for that. Humans tend to like baby things. You know, biology and stuff.
Percy (to Eep): Oh well, I AM so glad that I don't have that to deal with... on so many levels.
Mouse (to Percy): Heh... Are you jealous of the baby, Percy?
Eep (to Mouse): I think he might be.
Percy (to Eep & Mouse): I am not jealous... I just don't understand what's so impressive about him or babies in general.
Eep (to Percy): So you are jealous. Of a baby. Heh.
Mouse (to Percy): Awww, you are jealous... It's okay, that's normal.
Percy (to Eep & Mouse): ... Humph. I am so out of here.
Eep (to Percy): Ha ha ha! Oh... Shit! No. Wait. Wanda'll... ha ha. Oh... Oh shit.
Mouse (to Percy): HAHAHA. Percy, don't be like that. We're just teasing... (to Eep) Oh… He totally left. Oops.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. I feel like I should feel bad about that, but... Yeah. I don't. He'll get over it. I doubt Wanda'll let him pout for long.
Mouse (to Eep): Heehee, I shouldn't be as amused by that as I was, but that was funny. Big robot boy being jealous of a baby.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Yeah, I don't even know what the fuck was up with that.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh... Um, Percy's partially made from Poppy, right? Well, what if deep down she always wanted to have a family & a husband? Maybe, that part of Poppy is making Percy jealous, because he'll never get to have that... or it's just he doesn't like to share the attention.
Eep (to Mouse): Huh... Could be. Probably a little bit of both. I kinda feel a bit bad for him, now.
Mouse (to Eep): I don't... He acts horrid to us all of the time. I refuse to feel bad for him, just because he's not getting attention.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Well, there is that.
Mouse (to Eep): You're such a big softie. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
Eep (to Mouse): I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
Meanwhile:
Ripper (to Wanda): What is going on out here? Robert & I are trying to drink & watch a game in bed in peace... (to Vincent) Hey, Captain! Is that the baby? He's so tiny.
Wanda (to Ripper): Short Stack here FINALLY brought the baby by for me to see. Took him long enough.
Vincent (to Ripper): Hee hee. Sorry, Professor. When faced with babies, Wanda makes some extraordinarily high pitched noises.
Ripper (to Vincent): So, I noticed... I was sent out to get snacks, so I'll just leave you to it. Nice seeing you all!
Vincent (to Ripper): Wait. Hold up a second, Professor. (to Wanda) Hang on to the Little Man for a second, will you?
Ripper (to Vincent): Oh, sure. What's up, Vincent?
Vincent (to Ripper): Oh, nothing dire. I just wanted to let you know that Poppy's ready to head over whenever you are. You know, I think that's the first time you've called me by name in a long time. It almost sounds alien. Is everything alright?
Ripper (to Vincent): Oh yeah, everything's fine. I was just worried you were going to ask me about... you know what, nevermind. Thanks for letting me know about Poppy. I think tomorrow will work for me, have her give me a call & we'll make arrangements.
Vincent (to Ripper): Hee hee. Worried I was going to ask you about Lulu? :-P I'll have the missus give you a call.
Ripper (to Vincent): You win the kewpie doll, Captain. Go ahead, you can ask. I know you're probably dying to.
Vincent (to Ripper): Hee hee. What's to know? You're cute, she's cute, and you, Professor, are a bit of a rogue. Oops. Unless there's more to it than that. You're making quite the face.
Ripper (to Vincent): No, it's just that I don't think anyone has ever referred to me as a rogue before. I was trying to figure out how I felt about that description... Anyway, it was right after the break up with Marco & I had started working at Satanica's club. I did a lot of stupid stuff trying to get over all of that. I know you're well aware of some of it.
Vincent (to Ripper): Yikes. I'm sorry, Professor. I didn't mean anything by it. Everyone does stupid things when they're hurting.
Ripper (to Vincent): It's okay, I probably deserved it, I acted like an ass. I have to admit, that's one of the reasons I really like dating Robert. He's good at calling me out when I'm acting like a pompous ass.
Vincent (to Ripper): Hee hee. Yes, he is quite good at that. Sometimes, uncomfortably so. Besides, there are far worse things to be than a rogue. For what it's worth, I meant it as a compliment.
Ripper (to Vincent): Oh well, in that case, I will wear the badge of rogue with honor... So, how are you doing now that you're home? Really. I mean, you spent practically a year on the other side... Don't you miss it?
Vincent (to Ripper): Honestly? I'm glad to be home. I missed you guys. I have a few acquaintances in Britannia, oh, and in-laws now as well... But, my people are here. Plus, there's something weird brewing on the other side I don't like. Besides, no one here is trying to shoot me. Hee hee.
Ripper (to Vincent): Well, yes, I guess if I lived the life that you do on that side, I'd probably want to take a break from it now & again. But, that's probably why I like writing about adventure, rather than actually having them. Not that I haven't tried... but there always ends up being someone who talks me out of it. :-P
Vincent (to Ripper): Ha ha! Well, next time there's a murderous automaton after me, or group of pirates trying to kill me, I'll give you a call.
Ripper (to Vincent): Heh... I really should get these snacks back to Robert. We have a bet going about the game & I've been having a lucky streak. If I win this one, he has to dress up & come out to the club on Friday.
Vincent (to Ripper): Oh good heavens! Hee hee. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, then. Oop. Speaking of your boyfriend...
Robert (to Vincent & Ripper): It figures you two would wander back in after the baby's been changed.
Ripper (to Robert): I wouldn't have been much help. I'm the youngest in my family... That probably explains a lot.
Wanda (to Vincent): Oh. Em. Gee. Dude, babies are DISGUSTING.
Vincent (to Wanda): Without a doubt. You haven't even seen half of the horror Little Man can produce.
Robert (to Vincent): Heh. Victor needed changing, and Wanda panicked a bit. (to Ripper) Heh. You say that as though I didn't already know that.
Ripper (to Robert): Oh right... I have a smorgasbord of snack foods prepared for our feast. Does that make up for whatever I did? :-P
Robert (to Ripper): My team is up by one, so I'm feeling quite magnanimous.
Ripper (to Robert): So, I see... You still haven't told me what happens if you win.
Robert (to Ripper): Why ruin the surprise?
Ripper (to Robert): Oh, you're just saying that because you're unsure of your victory. I have managed to win 4 bets in a row.
Robert (to Ripper): All streaks must end, my friend. The odds are increased when the streak-winner acts like a pompous twat.
Vincent (to Ripper, Robert & Wanda): Oops. The boys are speaking Greek again. Time for us to take out leave. Besides, it's nap time. For me. Victor might want to lie down as well. See you lot later.
Ripper (to Vincent): Bye, Captain. It was nice seeing you & Victor. (to Wanda) Why are you staring at us like that?
Wanda (to Ripper): For all the time I've known him, I've never seen Robert act all couple-ish with a dude. It's adorbz!
Robert (to Wanda): And now you're thinking about us making out.
Wanda (to Robert): Well, DUH! I'm always thinking about that! (to Ripper) Oh, don't get weirded out, Jacob! I think that about everyone. (to Robert & Ripper) Oh! Especially Vincent and Poppy when they started dating. How teeny and adorable are they? It was kinda weird at first, because I've known Vincent since he was a kid but then I thought HEY he's legal...
Ripper (to Wanda): HAHA... Which version? Oh... I mean, which time?
Wanda (to Ripper): Oh, you mean Poppy's evil twin sister? That was kinda fucked up, I'll admit, but dude, life is weird sometimes.
Ripper (to Wanda &Robert): Evil twin sister?
Robert (to Ripper): Don't look at me. I tuned out when about 5 minutes ago.
Wanda (to Ripper): Oh. Shit! I wasn't supposed to say anything! Um, the Poppy said that that Vincent first started dating was her sister. That's the Poppy he dumped. And this Poppy, the one he's with now, wanted to date him, but couldn't cause it was so weird. I wasn't supposed to mention her. Don't tell Poppy I told!
Ripper (to Wanda): Oh... Wow... Okay. Yeah, we'll go with that... It's not really my place to get involved, so I'm going to be quiet. (to Robert) Shall we get back to the game?
Robert (to Ripper): Let's... How many times do I have to recommend none engagement? Bemused detachment is the way to go.
Ripper (to Robert): I know, I know. I'm sure Poppy told her that so that she wouldn't have to explain other things. But evil twin, really?
Robert (to Ripper): Ha ha ha! Like the truth is more believable?
Ripper (to Robert): Well no, but... I got nothin'. Nevermind.
Robert (to Ripper): No, no. What part of "Robot Copy from an Alternate Dimension" is more credible than "Evil Twin"? I'm genuinely curious. :-P
Ripper (to Robert): I was just thinking about the fact that Percy is that first Poppy... I mean, she seemed fine with him being a robot. I did tell you that, right?
Robert (to Ripper): .. No. I'm afraid I didn't quite follow that. Who's fine with Percy being a robot?
Ripper (to Robert): Wanda. She knows he's an automaton & she seems to be okay with that or am I missing something?
Robert (to Ripper): Oh no. She's mentioned it in the past. Well, more accurately, she raved about it in the past. There are distinct advantages to being mechanical in nature, apparently. That woman is utter crap at keeping secrets.
Ripper (to Robert): I am not sure I want to know about these supposed mechanical advantages... But, what you're saying is that we should continue to let her think that Poppy has an evil twin that dated Vincent?
Robert (to Ripper): Considering the alternative is to tell her that she's dating Vincent's ex, yes, I'm perfectly content to let her believe that.
Ripper (to Robert): Alright, then... You know her best. I won't say anything... And, damn it, I'm down by 6 points. This does not bode well. I probably shouldn't have gloated so much, that'll teach me. :-P
Robert (to Ripper): As I said, every streak must end. And yours is ending spectacularly! Ooo! That looks like it hurt. From your tone, I'm guessing you think we should tell Wanda the truth.
Ripper (to Robert): I think Percy should tell her, at some point. It's not fair to her. But I agree it's not our place to do it.
Robert (to Ripper): No, it's probably not, but that's really up to him. And Poppy, I suppose.
Ripper (to Robert): Well, I may mention it to her tomorrow when I see her... So, it looks like you won.
Robert (to Ripper): Well, look at that. So I did. Whatever shall I do with you?
Ripper (to Robert): I have a sneaking suspicion that you have something already in mind.
Robert (to Ripper): I may have a few ideas.
A few hours later:
Poppy (to Lulu): Hello there... What can I do for you?
Lulu (to Poppy): Hi there! You must be Poppy. Vincent wasn't kidding when he said you were beautiful... Vincent left his wallet at work last night. I was helping Delia do inventory today so I thought I'd drop it off on my way home. I figured he might need it.
Poppy (to Lulu): Well, that's awfully sweet of you, honey. I'll let him know you brought it by. Thank you.
Lulu (to Poppy): Oh, okay.
Poppy (to Vincent): Honey, some trampy aqua-haired girl just dropped off your wallet. You apparently left it at work.
Vincent (to Poppy): Hmmm? What? I left my wallet at work? That's what I get for wearing pants to tight to fit anything in the pockets. That must have been Lulu. She's the new bartender at work.
Poppy (to Vincent): Hmmm, she's the new something alright.
Vincent (to Poppy): Hee. Not shockingly, she's quite popular, even if she is worse at making drinks than I am. Which I wasn't sure was possible. With me gone, I suppose Sasha felt like he needed someone there to perv up the place. Who else was there to fill those shoes? Eep? ... Oh. Good heavens... Thinking about Eep trying to flirt behind the bar is more than slightly hilarious.
Poppy (to Vincent): Heehee, does Eep even know how to flirt?
Vincent (to Poppy): I'm going to go with no. It's a good thing my sister thinks brooding and being non-verbal are adorable traits.
Poppy (to Vincent): Heehee.
Vincent (to Poppy): You know, I don't think he's ever asked a girl out... If I'm not mistaken, Maddie was the one who asked him out.
Poppy (to Vincent): Hmmm, that's not surprising...
Vincent (to Poppy): I know. It's more than slightly adorable.
Poppy (to Vincent): You know who I think is slightly adorable?
Vincent (to Poppy): Me? Victor? Me AND Victor?
Poppy (to Vincent): Heh... I think I may let you keep guessing, honey.
Vincent (to Poppy): Mmm. Well, let's see... Who else do you think might be adorable? Eep? Mouse? Certainly not Lulu by your reaction to her... Wanda? Robert? The Professor? It isn't Percy, is it? What about Persephone?
Poppy (to Vincent): Alright, alright... It's you & Victor, honey.
Vincent (to Poppy): Hee hee. I was hoping that was going to be your answer.
Poppy (to Vincent): It's a very good thing that I love you so much, honey...
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh? Why is that? Am I incorrigible? I fear I might be incorrigible.
Poppy (to Vincent): Oh, honey, I think you're a bit overly giddy... I'll give you a break from late night baby duty. You should probably get some sleep.
Vincent (to Poppy): I'm sure I'll be alright, hun. I haven't got the day job for a couple of... you know, whosawhatsits...days.
Poppy (to Vincent): Honey, curl up on the couch, I'll fix dinner.
Vincent (to Poppy): Mmmm. Have I mentioned recently that I'm a lucky lad to have you, lover?
Poppy (to Vincent): No, but feel free to tell me whenever you get the urge, honey.
Vincent (to Poppy): Hee hee. I'm lucky to have you, lover...
Poppy (to Vincent): And, I'm lucky to have you, honey. Dinner's simmering, it should be ready in ten minutes. I had a question for you... You mentioned wanting to have a real ceremony, any thoughts as to when you'd like to do it?
Vincent (to Poppy): Hmmm... No. I don't have a specific date in mind. Do you?
Poppy (to Vincent): Well, I was thinking sometime in the fall or winter would be nice, honey. But I don't have a date in mind, yet.
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh, the fall or winter sounds nice, hun. Will that be enough time to plan? Oh, who am I kidding? OF COURSE that will be enough time to plan.
Poppy (to Vincent): Honey, I know for a fact that you have a scrapbook & a small box of wedding ideas hiding in the back of the closet...
Vincent (to Poppy): What? Why would I...? I mean, um, I... Oh good God. How did you know about that?
Poppy (to Vincent): Honey, are you really surprised that I know what's in my house?
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh. No... I suppose not. It's just been a while since I've shared living space with anyone, and had them go through my stuff. And, if the truth is to be told, I'm a bit embarrassed.
Poppy (to Vincent): Honey, I didn't go through it on purpose. I was cleaning the closet & it got knocked over, so I got curious and, it was only yesterday that I discovered it... I didn't realize we were back to keeping secrets from each other.
Vincent (to Poppy): I wasn't trying to keep secrets from from you, hun. I'm sure I would have broken out the box eventually. I'm just...
Poppy (to Vincent): Here's your dinner... I'm going to go check on our son. He probably needs to be fed & changed.
Vincent (to Poppy): I'm embarrassed. I told you, I had issues with the idea of marriage for a long time. I didn't mean to upset you.
Poppy (to Vincent): Hmmm, I had just assumed it was for helping your sister plan her wedding when I found it, honey... but, after your response, I don't know what to think.
Vincent (to Poppy): Well, that's how it started, hun, but you know Mouse and Eep. I suspected very early into the process that they wouldn't want a big To Do. Then I was left wondering whose wedding I was really planning for, and at the time, I wasn't sure you'd want to...
Poppy (to Vincent): I actually thought it was sweet, honey.
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh! Sweet? Really?
Poppy (to Vincent): Honey, after everything we've been through, how could you doubt that I think you're sweet & want to be with you forever?
Vincent (to Poppy): I didn't doubt it, hun. Well... OK. Maybe a little. Just around the edges. I know. I'm being ridiculous.
Poppy (to Vincent): Heehee, now I see why Mouse thinks you & Eep have so much in common...
Vincent (to Poppy): Me? And EEP? Oh come on now. There's no need to get insulting. :-P So now that you found my little scrapbook, what did you think?
Poppy (to Vincent): I liked a couple of your ideas... I especially found the whole airship pirate themed wedding, hysterical.
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh. Hee hee. I thought that might be a nice little in-joke, but we can go a more traditional route if you want, hun.
Poppy (to Vincent): Do you think we're the traditional wedding type, honey? Because, I certainly don't think so. :-p
Vincent (to Poppy): Hee hee. Not even slightly but I didn't want to assume. You haven't said anything about what kind of wedding YOU want, lover.
Poppy (to Vincent): Oh, I have a few ideas... Remember that box from my family's house, honey? Go grab it from my dresser.
Vincent (to Poppy): Here you go, hun. What's in here? You were very secretive about it?
Poppy (to Vincent): Here... Open it. There should be a collage I made of my dream wedding and a bunch of other silly treasures from when I was little.
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh. So I see. We've got some pretty stones, ribbon, a seashell and an eggshell it looks like. Here. Put these off to the side, hun. I wouldn't want them to get lost. Hee hee. Here's a picture of you... Is this your collage?
Poppy (to Vincent): Yes, that would be it, honey. Pretty silly, huh?
Vincent (to Poppy): It's not silly at all. Is this the kind of dress you want, hun?
Poppy (to Vincent): Yes, though I'm not sure we could find one like that over here.
Vincent (to Poppy): Don't be too sure. I DO deal in antiques on this side. I might be able to rustle something up. Let me make some calls.
Poppy (to Vincent): You don't think it's a bit ridiculous, do you? I mean, it was the daydream of a ten year old girl.
Vincent (to Poppy): I don't think it's ridiculous at all, lover. I think you'd look gorgeous in something like this. If it's what you want now, I mean.
Poppy (to Vincent): I honestly don't know, now that I look at it for my actual wedding, it seems a little silly to me... I never really thought it would ever happen. I'll have to do a little thinking.
Vincent (to Poppy): Alright, hun. For what it's worth, I think you'd look beautiful in this dress. Of course, I ALWAYS think you look gorgeous.
Poppy (to Vincent): C'mere you little sweet, sexy thing.
Vincent (to Poppy): Hee hee. With pleasure, missus.
