Onboard the Maltese Falcon; New London, Britannia:
Victor: Hullo? Is anyone on this bloody ship? I got the supplies... (to Una & Eva) Oh... Excuse me. I didn't realize we had guests.
Eva (to Victor): Hullo, yourself. Where on earth did you come from?
Una (to Eva & Victor): Ooooo... Do you think he's a spy too, Eva? Oh, don't make that face at me. (to Victor) You must be Victor. Your father said you might be along in a bit.
Eva (to Una): He's certainly sneaky enough to be a spy, Una. There seems to be no end to them in this family, does there?
Victor (to Una & Eva): Yes. I am. Very nice to have made your acquaintance, miss ...?
Una (to Eva): They do seem to be an interesting lot, don't they? (to Victor) I'm Una, she's Eva.
Victor (to Una & Eva): Heh. I'm sorry to disappoint you then, but I'm not a spy. I'm a student at University.
Una (to Victor): Really? Aren't you a little young for university? I mean, what are you seventeen or thereabouts?
Victor (to Una & Eva): Very nearly. I passed my entrance exams, and, as I'm sure you've noticed, my father is very persuasive.
Una (to Victor): Yes, we did notice that. (to Eva) Didn't we, Eva?
Eva (to Una): We did indeed, Una. (to Victor) Aren't you going to ask why we look exactly like your younger sister?
Victor (to Una & Eva): I wasn't planning on it. I thought it might be rude.
Una (to Victor): Heehee. You are quite a gentleman, Victor. You can also take your hand off the pistol in your vest. We're harmless... For the most part. We just came seeking answers not to start a family feud, of sorts.
Victor (to Una & Eva): Heh. My apologies. Would you like a cup of tea or something to eat? I'm famished.
Una (to Victor): I'm sure my sister and I can agree that tea & breakfast would be lovely. (to Eva) Isn't that right, Eva?
Eva (to Una & Victor): Yes, of course. It would be rude of us to decline, wouldn't it?
Victor (to Una & Eva): Don't feel obligated to adhere to the rules of propriety on my behalf. I believe you've met my father? :-P
Una (to Victor): Well, considering we're guests under slight duress. We were half-expecting to only be fed bread & water.
Eva (to Una & Victor): I'd say under more than slight duress.
Victor (to Una & Eva): ... Ah. I assume my mother had something to do with that. She'd never forgive me if I fed you bread & water.
Una (to Victor): ... Your sister's sudden appearance last night seemed to agitate her.
Victor (to Una & Eva): I can certainly see why that might have made things a bit awkward.
Eva (to Victor & Eva): Everyone in your family seems to be a master of the understatement.
Victor (to Una & Eva): Yes, we are. Here you are. There's jam for the toast... Hmmm. Somewhere.
Una (to Victor): So, why is it that you seem completely non-plussed by our appearance, Victor? Does this sort of thing happen a lot?
Victor (to Una & Eva): What? Two women who were clearly based on the same genetic material as my little sister and aunt suddenly appearing out of the blue? I wouldn't say often. It's only happened three or four times before.
Una (to Victor): Three or four times, really? So, are we going to run into these other versions?
Eva (to Victor): ... You're kidding!
Victor (to Una & Eva): Ha ha ha! I am. Don't worry. I was only kidding. Heh. I'm sorry. That was hardly appropriate.
Una (to Victor & Eva): ... That was not funny.
Eva (to Una & Victor): Not funny in the slightest.
Una (to Victor): Look, Victor, I think we've been handling your family's theatrics & suspicions quite well, but we just want some answers. I think we deserve that. If you can help us, we'll answer your questions.
Victor (to Una & Eva): There's nothing to be done about the theatrics, I'm afraid. That is how the family operates. I'm very sorry that my parents are acting so suspicious, but it's not themselves they're worried about.
Eva (to Victor): Yes, yes. So they keep reminding us. I still don't see how that's our fault.
Una (to Victor): Yes, we've done nothing wrong besides showing up when uninvited but that's hardly a crime. Rude, perhaps but not a crime.
Victor (to Una & Eva): It isn't. ...I doubt my parents have mentioned it, but part of the reason my aunt was cloned was as a backup or escape plan for Hiiri. And she has a history of doing awful things to my family.
Una (to Victor & Eva): Well, we were not created by Hiiri or Maladori, for that matter. We were based on their research but the name of the scientist that created us was-- Damn. The name escapes me. What was it, Eva? Mother told us when we confronted her about it, the other day.
Eva (to Una & Victor): Whitmore, I believe.
Una (to Victor): What can we say to express our goodwill & lack of ill intentions?
Victor (to Una & Eva): I know it isn't fair for my parents to hold the bad behavior of other people or your family connections against you. They're suspicious; they'll relax sooner or later. I wish I could be more comforting. Just give them time. I'm sure they'll come around sooner rather than later.
Eva (to Victor & Una): Yes. I suppose spies would be suspicious as a general rule, wouldn't they?
Una (to Victor): That's not very encouraging.
Eva (to Victor & Una): Not in the slightest.
Victor (to Una & Eva): Heh. No, I suppose not. Is there something I can do to put you more at ease?
Una (to Victor): Any thoughts as to whether we're going to sprout extra heads or have a thirst for blood?
Victor (to Una & Eva): Heh. No, I don't think so. No extra heads that I've experienced, and you shouldn't be any more bloodthirsty than you were before... That was a joke. Sorry.
Eva (to Victor & Una): You have a VERY strange sense of humor, Victor.
Una (to Eva): I was just thinking that, Eva.
Victor (to Una & Eva): I apologize. I suppose it's my defense mechanism. Would you rather I be hysterical, instead?
Eva (to Victor & Una): Please don't. I'm not very good with hysterics.
Una (to Victor & Eva): It's true. She hates it when I get hysterical.
Eva (to Una): Thank you, Una.
Victor (to Una & Eva): I'm afraid you're stuck with the bad jokes, then.
Una (to Victor & Eva): ... Joy of joys.
A few hours later:
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Oh, hi there... I was looking for my book. I think I left it in here somewhere. Maybe, under the cushion?
Una (to Zoe): Is this it?
Zoe (to Eva & Una): It is! Thank you! ... I should go.
Eva (to Zoe): Were you really looking for you book, or were you looking for an excuse to snoop?
Una (to Zoe): Were you told to avoid us, Zoe?
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Um, yeah. I was curious but Mom's being paranoid.
Eva (to Zoe): Yes, your brother mentioned that your parents were being a bit--overprotective at the moment.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): It's just because one of us killed-- uh, nevermind. You don't want to hear about that. So, you grew up around here, huh? That must have been cool. What do you guys do for a living? Boyfriends? Do you like cheese? I like cheese. You can tell a lot about a culture by their relationship to dairy.
Eva (to Zoe): Hold up a minute! You can't start a sentence with "one of us killed," and then ask us about bloody cheese.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Oh... You noticed that, huh?
Una (to Zoe): Yes. We're funny like that. So, what did you mean, Zoe?
Eva (to Zoe): Did you... Did you KILL someone?
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Who me!?! No... I may have maimed a couple folks when I first woke up but I didn't kill anyone.
Eva (to Zoe): Oh well who hasn't done that?
Zoe (to Eva & Una): ... Oh, really?
Eva (to Zoe): Well... We never maimed anyone *seriously*.
Una (to Zoe): Yes, I believe Mother would have frowned on us doing any serious harm to anyone. :-)
Zoe (to Eva & Una): .. Are you teasing me?
Eva (to Zoe): Uh, if it would make you feel better to believe so, then yes.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): ... So, what do you guys do, exactly?
Eva (to Zoe): Oh, no. We're not answering any questions about ourselves until you explain what you meant earlier. (to Una) Are we, Una?
Una (to Eva & Zoe): That's right, Eva.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Fine... One of Hiiri's clones killed another one not realizing that I existed or maybe she didn't care... I was considered defective by Hiiri & Maladori.
Eva (to Zoe): Really? I suppose that explains some of the sideways glances we've received...
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Yeah… They're all worried you're going to try to kill me or them… You're not, are you? You don't seem bad. I mean, the others gave me the heebie jeebies. You just seem like you're trying to be mysterious… So what are you? Librarians or Accountants? Or are you just debutantes & spoiled rich kids?
Una (to Zoe): Why would you say Librarian?
Eva (to Una & Zoe): Yes, I thought that seemed an odd choice in job choice to pull out of thin air as well, Una.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Heehee, because you're like me & I'm like Emma, which means you like to read and she used to want to be one. So, which one of you is the Librarian?
Eva (to Zoe): ... We both are.
Una (to Zoe): … I prefer Archivist.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Heehee. I knew it!
Una (to Zoe & Eva): It was a lucky guess.
Eva (to Zoe): ...FINE. You've figured us out. We've spent more time reading about other people's lives than living our own.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Oh, please don't pout! I'm sorry I ruined your air of mystery.
Eva (to Zoe & Una): We are certainly NOT pouting. Are we, Una?
Una (to Eva & Zoe): Of course not, Eva. We don't pout.
Eva (to Una & Zoe): It might look like pouting, but rest assured, it is not.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Heehee. If you say so… I just hope I don't get those same wrinkles in my forehead when I POUT.
Una (to Zoe & Eva): You are an infuriating child, you know that?
Eva (to Una & Zoe): Yes, she is, Una. And we certainly do NOT get wrinkles.
Una (to Eva & Zoe): No, we do not, Eva.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): So, I've been told… numerous times. Heehee. Don't worry. I'll tell Mom you guys are harmless & then you can go home if you want to, that is. Or maybe you'd like to stay onboard & go on an adventure?
Eva (to Zoe): Oh. Well... Can we be frank with you, Miss Zoe?
Zoe (to Eva & Una): I certainly would like that. I mean if you can't be frank with me, than who can you be frank with, so to speak. What is it?
Eva (to Zoe & Una): I know this must sound odd to you, with your family being, um, well, your family. But we would LOVE to have an adventure. Honestly, we're sick to death of reading, analyzing and cataloging other people's lives. We would like to have one of our own. Am I right, Una?
Una (to Eva & Zoe): Dear god yes, Eva.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Heehee. Alrighty, then. I'll talk to the folks & see what they say.
Una (to Zoe & Eva): Thank you, Zoe. We would appreciate that.
Eva (to Zoe & Eva): We would appreciate that very much.
A few minutes later:
Zoe (to Vincent & Poppy): Mom! Dad! Where are you hiding? I need to talk to you!
Poppy (to Zoe): What is it, my little elephant?
Vincent (to Zoe & Poppy): Hee hee. Don't let your mother tease you. You're my FAVORITE land mammal.
Zoe (to Vincent & Poppy): Oh good… I talked to Eva & Una. Before you yell at me. They're librarians… or according to Una, archivists. They're just regular people… I mean, despite the whole being clones of Aunt Emma thing. They're looking for an adventure. I thought maybe we could take them on a delivery or something.
Poppy (to Zoe): We know, honey. I did a little digging on the Greymalkin sisters.
Zoe (to Vincent & Poppy): Oh.
Poppy (to Zoe): Honey, what did you think I was doing all day? Baking cookies?
Zoe (to Vincent & Poppy): No, of course not… Does that mean there aren't any cookies?
Poppy (to Zoe): Heehee. While I'm making you some cookies. How about you talk with your father about all of this, ok?
Zoe (to Vincent & Poppy): Alright…
Vincent (to Zoe): So? Hit me with your best sales pitch, Monster.
Zoe (to Vincent): Sales pitch? Why would I bother, Dad? You & Mom have probably already made your decision.
Vincent (to Zoe): Oh? So you don't have an interest in whether or not they come?
Zoe (to Vincent): Well, sure I do. But, does it really matter what I want?
Vincent (to Zoe): Of course it matters, sweetie. You know part of the reason this had your mother and I so twitchy was because we weren't sure how it would make you feel. You are very much our daughter, Zoe, and very much a gorgeous young woman, and your own person. We don't want you feeling like some so-called "defective" clone of Emma or of Hiiri or of anyone else.
Zoe (to Vincent): I know I'm not any of those things, Dad. Honestly, looking at Una & Eva gives me hope. They've grown up to be normal... Well, relatively normal women. And, I'm not exactly like them. I'm unique. I have had you, Mom & Victor to help me through everything. They haven't. I'd like to get to know them but if you guys don't think it's a good idea, I'll deal with it.
Vincent (to Zoe): If you think it's a good idea, we'll do it. We trust you and your judgement, hun.
Zoe (to Vincent): I do, Dad. I think they just found out that their whole life was a lie & they want to see what's out there in the world. Besides, it couldn't hurt to have 2 young women who bare a striking resemblance to Hiiri… I mean, they survived a run-in with Carver & Starling. Not many can say that.
Vincent (to Zoe): That is very true... Hee hee. You're a sharp little cookie, did you know that?
Zoe (to Vincent): … Heehee. I'm trying to look humble. Is it working? :-P
Vincent (to Zoe): Not in the slightest.
Zoe (to Vincent): Heh. Well, I tried.
Vincent (to Zoe): Duly noted. Go. Get your butt back to the librarians and let them know they can go cause a ruckus with us if they want.
Zoe (to Vincent): Thank you, Dad.
A moment later:
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Well, it looks like you are welcome to join the ruckus.
Una (to Zoe & Eva): Really? That's wonderful. Thank you. Honestly, we thought you were just humoring us.
Eva (to Zoe & Una): Yes. We didn't expect you would be serious. We would love to. ...Thank you.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Well, I hope you don't mind manual labor. Mom & Dad are going to put you to work. Be warned.
Eva (to Zoe & Una): Ah. Yes. Manual labor is to be expected, I suppose. Um, I'm sure we can handle it. Can't we, Una?
Una (to Eva & Zoe): … Oh, yes of course, Eva. We're both in peak physical shape. We have nothing to worry about.
Eva (to Una & Zoe): No, of course not.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Heehee. You two are scared shitless… It'll be okay. I promise.
Eva (to Zoe & Una): You'll forgive me if I find that less than comforting.
Zoe (to Eva & Una): Ye of little faith.
Vincent (to Zoe, Eva & Una): Hee hee hee. From the petrified looks, I'm guessing that my daughter asked you to come with us.
Una (to Vincent): We're not petrified, Captain… Just wondering what the angle is.
Vincent (to Zoe, Eva & Una): Hee hee. Sorry to disappoint you, but there's no angle, hun. Zoe is VERY persuasive when she wants to be. Is there anyplace you'd like me to drop you off before we go? Anyone you need to call?
Una (to Zoe & Eva): Oh… I'm fairly certain Eva & I were looking forward to going with you. Isn't that right, sister dear?
Eva (to Una & Zoe): Yes. Quite right, Una. ...And--there is no one we need to contact, Captain Potter. We're at your disposal.
Zoe (to Vincent, Eva & Una): I'll go help Mom. I'm sure she needs help eating them.
Una (to Zoe): Heehee. (to Vincent & Eva) Is she always like that, Captain?
Vincent (to Zoe, Eva & Una): Hee hee. That she is. We're all very fortunate to have her.
