Vincent: O.M.G. How cute were the Gloomies last night? You know what this means, don't you? We're totes going to have a Drac's Daughter wedding! Hee hee!
Eep (to Mouse): Um, just as a word of warning, I told Wanda & Robert this morning that we're sort-of engaged. Be prepped for squealing from Wanda.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh, thanks for the warning... I'll try to prepare myself for the Wanda onslaught. :-)
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. Sorry about that. Wanda got all kinds of excited. She actually jumped up and down & got teary eyed. God... I'm already sorry for whatever fool ass thing she says.
Mouse (to Eep): Heehee, I'm sure it'll be fine. Did she ask you a bunch of questions? If so, what did you say? I want to make sure I say the same thing.
Eep (to Mouse): Jesus. Of course. I just said there are no wedding plans being made. It's kinda an engagement to be engaged. Robert said you gave me a promise ring, and then laughed his ass off.
An hour or so later:
Wanda (to Mouse): Oh my gawd! Mouse! Eep told me about last night! Yay! Can I hug you? Say yes!
Mouse (to Wanda): Aaaaah! … Fuck, you scared the hell outta me! … Oh god, Wanda! I am so sorry! Why would you sneak up on someone vacuuming?
Wanda (to Mouse): Ouch. That... Oh. Ouch. Wow. Shit. You got me GOOD. I think I should go put some ice on this.
Mouse (to Wanda): No, no... I'll get you some ice, just sit down. I'm so so sorry. You totally scared the shit out of me.
Wanda (to Mouse): Please. And a towel too. I'm bleeding a bit.
Mouse (to Wanda): Yes, of course... (to Eep) Ummm, I just punched Wanda... Again.
Eep (to Mouse): WHAT?! What happened? (to Wanda) What the fuck just happened?
Mouse (to Eep): I was vacuuming in the living room, had my back to the door. She walked in, tapped me on the shoulder & when I spun around I saw Smythe looking at me, I panicked and swung.
Wanda (to Eep): I don't know. I walked in and scared Mouse while she was vacuuming, and she knocked me on my ass. Oh god... and now I'm crying on top of bleeding. Oh... ouch. She hits really hard for a little person.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh Jesus... Are you OK? (to Wanda) Holy shit. Are you alright?
Mouse (to Eep): I think so... I'm just trying to fix this stupid thing I just did. (to Wanda) I am so sorry. Can I get you anything else? A beer? Cookies? My first born child?
Wanda (to Eep): Yeah. It looks like the worst I'll have is a black eye and an ugly cut where her ring caught my cheek. I had worse once when I flipped over the handle bars on my bike, but OMG! I've never been hit like that in my life! (to Mouse) You can keep your 1st born; it might be half Eep, after all. That would be a surly, surly baby. A beer would be faboo though. I'm not mad at you, you know. Eep told me about how you were like mugged a little while ago, so you're kinda on edge. And I really, really shouldn't have just walked in when you didn't answer. Or snuck up on you like that. I get excited and I don't think.
Mouse (to Wanda): heh, I'll bring you a beer & a cookie... you know, just in case. Thank you for understanding, but it still doesn't excuse my behavior... I just totally reacted without thinking. I am sorry.
Eep (to Wanda): Holy fucking Jesus! Wanda, I am SO sorry.
Wanda (to Eep): It's not your fault, roomie o' mine. Don't worry. Your fiance is beering me. I'm easy to bribe for forgiveness. ;-) (to Mouse) I ALWAYS react without thinking, so I can't really get too mad. Ouch. Dude! You hit HARD.
Eep (to Wanda): God... Then I owe you a case of the beer of your choice.
Mouse: Wow, I feel like such an asshole. (to Wanda) So, I've been told... Are you sure there's nothing else I can do?
Wanda (to Mouse): Well, I'd like another beer if that's OK. And I wanna ask kinda an awkward question, I'd really like to to know the answer to.
Mouse (to Wanda): Sure, I think I owe you that much... what is it?
Wanda (to Mouse): You don't like me very much, do you? It's OK if the answer is no. I think you're awesome with a side of awesome sauce, And I LOVE you and Eep together, but I want, actually, I NEED to know if I should back the hell off. I'm kinda oblivious. Hee hee. Which you kinda know from the FIRST time you punched me in the face.
Eep (to Mouse): How are you doing, pretty lady? Hanging in there?
Mouse (to Wanda): Oh, uh... I actually like you, just fine. We don't really know each other very well & you're just a little intense sometimes, it can be a little overwhelming. And, this may sound a little weird, but for a second you looked like the guy who mugged me. (to Eep) I suppose I'm fine, I just feel like an ass... Apparently, you & I are made for each other. :-P
Wanda (to Mouse): Hee hee. Yeah. Believe it or not, I've heard that before. I've lost count of the number of boyfriends who would complain how... Oh. Hee. Sorry. You probably don't want to know about my sex life, huh? Oh. Wait. I LOOK like the guy who mugged you?
Mouse (to Wanda): Yeah, I thought I owed you more of an explanation as to why I punched you so hard.
Wanda (to Mouse): Oh my gods! That makes SO much sense! I'm so sorry! I didn't know! I don't blame you for hitting me and but good. Once, my parents took me to one of their STUPID rallies, and this dickhead in the commune tried to rape me. To this day, every time I smell one of those hippie kids who stinks of BO and patchouli, I want to kick his teeth in.
Mouse (to Wanda): Oh my god, Wanda, that is terrible!
Wanda (to Mouse): Nah. It's OK. I mean, it was terrible when it happened, but it was a long time ago. I got over it with time.
Mouse (to Wanda): Can I ask, how you got over it?
Wanda (to Mouse): I took self-defense classes, got into therapy, and dated a lot, actually. It helped prove to me that not every guy was a dick.
Mouse (to Wanda): Oh, that's good to know... Thank you... and, thank you again for being cool about the punching.
Wanda (to Mouse): No worries. And I know it seems impossible now, but you'll get back to being yourself. It just takes time.
Mouse (to Wanda): I certainly hope so, though, I'm actually more concerned about Eep getting through it. He's been wonderfully supportive, but I'm worried that he's been so absorbed with my well-being that he hasn't been thinking about his own.
Wanda (to Mouse): Oh good gods, that totally sounds like him. Eep is very good at worrying about other people and TERRIBLE at thinking about himself. I wish I knew some secret way to get him to talk to you, but I've been trying for YEARS to get him to open up without any luck. You've had more luck with that in a few months than I've had the whole time I've known him.
Mouse (to Wanda): Yeah, he talks to me, eventually. I'm just worried that he's going to wear himself out mentally if he's not careful. He feels guilty about what happened to me & wants to protect me, but feels helpless. And, I have no idea what to tell him.
Wanda (to Mouse): Wow. Dude. I really wish I knew what to say to you BOTH. I mean, he has to know somewhere that it's not his fault... But trying to talk sense to that roomie of mine... Just keep trying to talk to him, I guess. And don't let him sidetrack you. Sooner or later, he'll actually learn to open up. And then look out! He'll probably never shut back up!
Mouse (to Wanda): Heehee, that's a scary thought. :-) Thank you for talking to me about this stuff. And, I'm going to now give you a hug... Don't make it weird. :-)
Wanda (to Mouse): Hee hee. No promises. :-P (to Eep) OMG. Your fiance is SO ADORABLE. You are a lucky, lucky man.
Eep (to Wanda): Yeah. I know it. (to Mouse) So, it, uh, sounds like you and Wanda patched things up. I hope she didn't drink too many of your beers.
Mouse (to Eep): Yeah, we talked for awhile... and, she can drink as many beers as she wants, if it helps. She is a giant weirdo, but she's a nice giant weirdo. :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Ha! That she is. Feeling better?
Mouse (to Eep): Yeah, she's good people... I may be a little day drunk... Oops.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Well, it's very nearly evening, so I think you're alright...
Mouse (to Eep): Hurrah, I might keep drinking then... You should join me.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. I have to work tonight. With as patient as Sasha has been, I don't think I should push my luck by showing up drunk. :p
Mouse (to Eep): Oh yeah, stupid work impeding on my getting my hubby drunk. :-p
Eep (to Mouse): Uhhhh... Heh. Yeah. Wow. You ARE drunk, aren't you?
Mouse (to Eep): Heehee, I like absinthe & lemonade. I've been very productive.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Very productive, or very drunk?
Mouse (to Eep): Heehee, a little bit of both.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. OK. A little bit of both is good then. What else have you been up to today besides bonding with Wanda?
Mouse (to Eep): Cleaning, baking & a bit of rearranging, mostly.
A few hours later:
Eep (to Mouse): Oh God... Everyone keeps coming over to me and congratulating me. I'd really like to crawl into a hole.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh god, I'm so sorry... I really didn't take that into consideration when I made my proposal plan.
Eep (to Mouse): It's alright. I think I'll manage to survive.
Ripper (to Eep): Hey, how are you tonight?
Eep (to Ripper): God... Ready to die from humiliation. I'm not generally thrilled to have this much attention focused on me.
Ripper (to Eep): Well, at least, they're paying attention to you because of something good... I think Vincent has been sending people over to you.
Eep (to Ripper): Oh! That little... Jesus. I guess he's still pissed at me
Ripper(to Eep): I don't think so... He's been pretty giddy about the whole thing. I think he wants to help plan the wedding.
Poppy (to Eep): Congratulations, honey... Oh dear, what happened to your lip?
Eep (to Ripper): Oh. My. Fucking. God. We haven't even set a date yet or anything. God... I'd ask why he's so obsessed with this, but I don't think I wanna know. (to Poppy) Oh. Um, Vincent and I kinda got into a scuffle.
Ripper (to Eep): He's probably just excited about the outfits.
Poppy (to Vincent): Honey, why on earth did you give Mister Sunshine a busted lip? And, why didn't you call me to watch?
Vincent (to Poppy): Hee hee. Sorry, hun. It wasn't planned. Gloomy Gus is just a wee bit high strung right now. He got upset with me and ended up grabbing me by the front of my shirt. I'm a wellspring of patience for a lot of things, but people grabbing me is not one of them.
Poppy (to Vincent): Well, honey, next time bring a camera because the idea of that is kinda hot.
Vincent (to Poppy): Hun, trust me, it was NOT hot. Had it been wrestling on the other hand...
Poppy (to Vincent): Oh, that's a shame, I was hoping you might let me grab you, honey. ;-)
Vincent (to Poppy): Well I may be willing to make exceptions to my "No Grabbing Me & Slamming Me Into The Wall" rule under certain circumstances.
Poppy (to Vincent): Oh my, honey, I am now incredibly intrigued...
Vincent (to Poppy): You know I like to be intriguing.
Poppy (to Vincent): Oh honey, don't be so dramatic, that's my thing & if you take that away from me, I will kill you & then myself... Actually, I'm too lazy for all of that & by lazy, I mean drunk, honey.
Vincent (to Poppy): In that case, allow me to pour you another drink.
Poppy (to Vincent): Are you trying to seduce me, Mister Potter?
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh. Uh... Hee hee. Not at all, hun. Besides, how could I break the hearts of all your admirers like that?
Poppy (to Vincent): I'm sorry, honey, I couldn't hear you over the throng of my admirers... & by admirers, I mean, no one... Oh, now I'm sad.
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh, stop. You know you're adorable.
Poppy (to Vincent): Aww honey, everyone I've ever dated ends up to be either gay or a girl dressed as guy for their newspaper article.
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh dear... I wish I knew what to tell you, hun. But, I may be the worst person in the room to ask about relationships. (to Mouse) Sweet heavens! Poppy is drunk and hitting on me. What the hell?
Mouse (to Vincent): Oh uh, just do her & get it outta the way... You know you wanna...
Poppy (to Vincent): You know, honey, a compliment would be "you're sexy, you turn me on", not "one look at you & I know I'm queer"...
Vincent (to Poppy): Sweetie, I refuse to believe that you don't know you're a sexy thing, regardless of whether or not you have a throng of fans. (to Mouse) Wait. WHAT? Have you been drinking?
Mouse (to Vincent): Just Absinthe & lemonade... Why?
Poppy (to Vincent): Honey, I know I'm fabulous, I just seem to have terrible luck with relationships... They're like sharks, if you don't walk away with a few bite marks, than you're doing something wrong.
Vincent (to Mouse): Because you, sweet sister, are drunk off your ass.
Mouse (to Vincent): That doesn't change the fact that you two will end up doing the horizontal hustle again & again...
Vincent (to Mouse): I'm TRYING to be a gentleman about this whole thing. So thank you for putting that mental image in my head.
Mouse (to Vincent): Heehee, I am the Queen of Perv Chicken! You're totally going to try & deny all of this, aren't you?
Eep (to Vincent): Where the fuck are you going?
Vincent (to Eep): To run my head under the cold tap in the bathroom. Don't ask! Watch the bar for me. (to Mouse) YES. Yes. I am. Jesus! I'm trying to figure out what my weird trust issues are and NOT date the automaton. Weren't you the one telling me I was using Poppy to hide from relationships with real people.
Mouse (to Vincent): Umm, I actually think that was Poppy who said that...
Vincent (to Mouse): Oh good. That certainly makes it less awkward.
Mouse (to Vincent): Sweetie, just stop thinking about it, so much... You like her, she's obviously interested & you fucking need to relax... and wow, I am really drunk.
Vincent: Good God... My sister is no longer allowed to drink while home alone. (to Mouse) You're telling me to relax and fuck Poppy. Yes. I would say you're drunk.
Mouse (to Vincent): No, no, reverse that, have sex with Poppy & then relax... Oh geez, when did you become such a prude? I thought you were the king of the pervs.
Eep (to Vincent): Uh... Vincent. Why the fuck are you climbing on the bar?
Vincent: Attention Dracula's Daughter patrons! Apparently I am no longer the King of the Pervs. I thereby officially abdicate my throne. Thank you.
Eep (to Vincent): What the fuck are you talking about? Where are you going?
Ripper (to Vincent): Uh, what the hell are you talking about?
Vincent (to Ripper): Nothing. My sister has been giving me a hard time about Poppy. Because she's drunk.
Ripper (to Vincent): Oh well, that's nothing new when it comes to Poppy.
Vincent (to Ripper): Mmm. But generally she's not telling me to fuck her.
Ripper (to Vincent): Oh, I have no clue what to say to that.
Vincent (to Ripper): That makes two of us.
Poppy (to Vincent): Well, I'm heading back to my room, honey. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. You usually like our verbal sparring, I certainly didn't mean to overstep my bounds.
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh, hun. It's not you. Don't worry your lovely head. I'm clearly still a bit more high strung than I'd care to admit.
Poppy (to Vincent): Well then, you should simply come back with me & I'll help you relax.
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh hun... As tempting, MASSIVELY tempting, as that offer is, I'm afraid I have to turn you down. Good night, Poppy.
Poppy (to Vincent): Oh well, honey, I was just going to suggest the in-house masseuse. No matter. Good night, Vincent.
Vincent: For someone with the reputation I seem to have garnered, why I am utterly clueless when it comes to dealing with people? If putting me in a full-body robe wouldn't be such a waste, I'd consider becoming a monk.
