Poppy (to Robert): Honey, I just wanted to tell you that I had a wonderful time hanging out with you & Wanda the other night.
Robert (to Poppy): It was my pleasure, and quite an interesting night, to be sure.
Poppy (to Robert): Honey, if you ever want to have drinks sometime, there's a wonderful martini bar in my building. Plus, there's a bevvy of sharp-dressed men that hang out there, very good eye candy.
Robert (to Poppy): I'm more a sports bar/pub kind of gentleman, myself, but generally I can make myself at home anywhere. Provided there's a decent beer on tap, of course.
Poppy (to Robert): Of course, honey... I don't mean to sound ignorant, but what's a sports bar?
Robert (to Poppy): It's a bar people go to watch sports, scream at the TV and drink beer. It's favored by men, generally speaking. You're a bit too up town to frequent such a working class environment, I think.
Poppy (to Robert): I'll have to take your word for it, honey. Well, we can always go back to the club, honey. Plus, I love to see the look of panic on Eep's face whenever I walk in.
Robert (to Poppy): Ha ha! As tempting as tormenting my taciturn roomie makes it, I don't really think the club is my scene. Of course, if I sell a local interest piece on it, you might see quite a lot of me at Dracula's Daughter.
Poppy (to Robert): Oooh, honey, have you spoken to the folks at 'A Modest Spectacle'?
Robert (to Poppy): I have not. I contacted a few editors I've worked with in the past first. So far, no nibbles. I'll hit them next. Do you know anyone on staff? Vincent was bragging about how well connected you are.
Poppy (to Robert): Oh yes, honey, I know the editor, Lindsay Herndon. He shares my love of avant garde cinema & the 1920's-30's. The magazine did a wonderful writeup about the NYE event that Mouse spun for me. If you mention my name, I wouldn't be at all surprised if they said yes to your story.
Robert (to Poppy): Thank you very much! I'll contact her this afternoon, and drop your name without hesitation or shame. Now, I believe I owe you several strong drinks at the establishment of your choice.
Poppy (to Robert): Honey, I can do one better... there's a cocktail party on Thursday with a bunch of editors & publicity folks. Wanna be my date? I could get you actual face time with Lindsay, not to mention several other editors.
Robert (to Poppy): That would be outstanding. I promise I won't embarrass you too terribly.
Poppy (to Robert): Wonderful, honey, I'll email you the details.
Robert (to Poppy): Wonderful!
An hour or so later:
Poppy: I wish I had a handsome man visit me at work... instead I have a pair of the world's oldest girls!
Leon (to Poppy): I could swing by your office and take you out to lunch. Just to get you away for a little while. Also makes for good gossip.
Poppy (to Leon): Oh honey, I wish I could say yes, really I do! But, sadly, I have a lunch meeting. But, I'm free for dinner... ;-)
Leon (to Poppy): While I think having a sharp dressed black man show up for lunch might have been funnier, dinner does sound nice. Seven?
Poppy (to Leon): So, is your lovely lady joining us? That does sound lovely, honey. See you then! (to Vincent) Hey honey, you interested in joining me & Leon for dinner tonight?
Vincent (to Poppy): Ooo! I'd love 2! What time?
Poppy (to Vincent): 7pm, honey...
Vincent (to Poppy): Sounds faboo! Txt me the details.
Poppy (to Vincent): Will do, honey...
Robert (to Mouse): So, my roommate gave me a bit of a hard time for my early morning interrogation of you yesterday. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I promise I'm not doing a tabloid-style investigation of local goth DJs.
Mouse (to Robert): Oh no, that wasn't it, at all. He had just mentioned to me that you're often gathering research and I was curious. I hope he wasn't too snappy at you, he's a little overprotective sometimes. Well, I'm sure you know.
Robert (to Mouse): If Eep wasn't snippy when discussing his feelings, I'd be worried he'd been taken over by an alien being. He's a tall, scowling, chain-smoking mother hen. It's hilarious, and one of his better qualities.
Mouse (to Robert): It makes me giggle how one minute he's scowling & complaining and then the next he's asking if you're warm enough? It's cute.
Robert (to Mouse): He has a hard time expressing himself verbally, so that's how he compensates. I'm glad he's with someone who recognizes and appreciates that. I'll admit, I was worried when our roomie started dating. I'm glad "Ma" and I didn't send you screaming for the hills with our behavior.
Mouse (to Robert): Well, at first, I was thinking about it... especially after my punching Wanda, which I still feel a little bad about but, once I realized that you both are the closest thing he has to a caring family, it all made sense. I understand why Eep has trouble, I just tend to express myself for good or bad, not hold it in when I get uncomfortable. I think both ways aren't really all that great, but I'm hoping to find a good balance.
Robert (to Mouse): Don't feel too badly about hitting Wanda. I love her, but she's even more clueless than Eep in a lot of ways. Sometimes, she deserves a good smacking.
Mouse (to Robert): Well, that's good to know. :-) So, I have to ask... How & why did you end up spending the evening with Poppy? The curiosity has been killing me. I didn't realize you even knew her... though, I probably shouldn't be surprised.
Robert (to Mouse): Actually, we had never met before that night. We introduced ourselves to one another via Twitter. I'd heard about her from Vincent and vice versa. She invited me out for drinks at your club. Clubs aren't really my thing, but I was curious.
Mouse (to Robert): She's definitely something, isn't she? What did you think of her? You should try it on a weekday, it's more like a bar on those nights - no DJ, more casual dress, generally kind of chill. The weekends we usually go all out, so it can be a little overwhelming to a newcomer.
Robert (to Mouse): I think she talks a bigger game than she plays, and she has an ego to match your brother's.
Mouse (to Robert): You are clearly a wise man for spotting all that after only one meeting.
Robert (to Mouse): Or, I'm an observant one, but if you'd prefer to believe I'm clever, I won't argue with you.
Mouse (to Robert): I thought calling you clever was nicer. :-)
Robert (to Mouse): Again, I won't argue. with anyone paying me a compliment. ;-)
Several hours later:
Mouse (to Eep): Hey handsome, what are your plans for the evening?
Eep (to Mouse): None at the moment. Just making dinner. Have you eaten yet?
Mouse (to Eep): Not yet. I was making some garbage bread... what are you making? Want to eat together?
Eep (to Mouse): Garbage bread? I'm guessing it tastes better than it sounds. I'm not making anything fancy. Beans, sausage & rice.
Mouse (to Eep): It's kind of like a calzone only you use bread dough. My Nan used to make it & I was feeling a bit nostalgic. It's only got a couple more minutes left in the oven. Interested in a trade?
Eep (to Mouse): Wow. That sounds REALLY good. Hell yeah, I'd be interested in a trade.
Mouse (to Eep): I'll bring a loaf over when it's done... So, how was the yog, today? Was it so busy that you ran out?
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Work was not even remotely busy. *I* was busy. My boss had me mucking out the fridge where we defrost the yog all day. That was... yeah. That's why I'm making beans & rice. It's easy and quick enough that I don't have to think about it.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh, I'm sorry. That does not sound pleasant at all… So, after dinner, you wanna go for a walk & get coffee with me? My treat.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. That sounds great. Heh. What did I do to warrant a coffee?
Mouse (to Eep): Nothing. I just missed you. I guess I'm just in a sappy mood.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh. Uh... Heh. Well, I'm not gonna give you too hard a time for liking and missing me.
Mouse (to Eep): Really? But, you usually do... who are you & what have you done with the real Eep?
Eep (to Mouse): You caught me. I'm actually a yog zombie. And I didn't say anything about your taste. I just said that I wouldn't give you a hard time for them. :p
Mouse (to Eep): You are, indeed, a wily one with your crafty word play. :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. I'm known for my crafty word play.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh man, I have no snappy retort to that... I'll just have to make do with telling you the bread's out of the oven. :-) When would you like me to bring it over?
Eep (to Mouse): Whenever. Beans & sausage are done. I've got them simmering while I wait on the rice. I wouldn't mind you keeping me company in the kitchen. See ya in a few.
An hour or two later:
Vincent (to Mouse): Srry sweetie! I missed ur call. I was taking a shower & getting ready 4 dinner.
Mouse (to Vincent): No worries, it wasn't important.
Vincent (to Mouse): What r u up 2 this evening?
Mouse (to Vincent): Presently, Eep & I are getting coffee. What are you up to?
Vincent (to Mouse): Going out 2 dinner w/ Poppy, Delia & Leon. U 2 want 2 join us 4 dessert, or will u b "busy"? ;-}
Mouse (to Vincent): Thanks for the invite, but I think we're going to have a quiet evening.
Vincent (to Mouse): Rlly? R u now?
Mouse (to Vincent): Are you trying to imply something, little brother?
Vincent (to Mouse): Well, I cld come rite out & say that I don't want 2 disturb ur evening of passionate love making... But I don't want 2 insult ur delicate sensibilities. :-P
Mouse (to Vincent): We were actually just going to watch a movie... But, if you wanna imagine our passionate lovemaking, go for it. Weirdo.
Vincent (to Mouse): Now who's trying 2 distract who? Rlly, I was just trying 2 b a brotherly pain in ur butt.
Mouse (to Vincent): Oh, I know.
Vincent (to Mouse): U OK, sweetie?
Mouse (to Vincent): Yeah, I'm just being a little wiggy after you mentioned that you thought Eep was being overly attentive... I wonder if he's still feeling guilty.
Vincent (to Mouse): Oh sweetie! I didn't meant 2 make u feel anxious. Knowing ur beau, he prolly does still feel guilty. If the drama he carries w/ him is any indication, he will 4 a while, I think. OR, he cld finally feel comfortable & relaxed arnd u & he's let his guard down more.
Mouse (to Vincent): Well, I'll just hope that it's the second choice.
Vincent (to Mouse): I hope so 2, sweetie. Have u tried talking 2 him abt it, or is saying "hey, how come ur being so nice?" 2 weird?
Mouse (to Vincent): I've tried to ask him a couple of times, but I'm worried that it might make it stop & I like him being happy.
Vincent (to Mouse): So then don't wrry abt it so much. Just enjoy it.
Mouse (to Vincent): I'm trying to, but I just keep wondering if he's faking it, which is why I've been feeling crazy. I think I might be insane. Anyway, enough about my crazy brain...
Vincent (to Mouse): Well, whatever his motivations, I can assure u, sister dearest, that he's not "faking it." Have u ever seen that man try 2 lie? He's not crafty enough 2 do it w/ any quality. He starts blushing & twitching.
An hour or so later:
Mouse (to Vincent): How's your double date going?
Vincent (to Mouse): The double date is going smashing (aside frm all the parts where I kept txting my sister). The waitress is VRY attentive. We have an ongoing bet abt whether it's me, Leon , Delia or Poppy that she finds attractive.
Mouse (to Vincent): I'm glad it's going well, I'll let you get back to it.
Vincent (to Mouse): OK, sweetie. Call me if u need me, K? I'll let u know who won the bet. ;-}
Mouse (to Vincent): I can hardly wait. (to Eep) What was the 3rd thing I was supposed to pick up from the store? Beer, cookies and ?
Vincent (to Mouse): I know u'll b waiting w/ baited breath.
Eep (to Mouse): Shit! I don't remember. Popcorn? Chips? Snacks? Bakery fresh muffins? Tequila?
Mouse (to Eep): You should have just come with me & saved me from my defective brain, instead of tidying up the kitchen like a nice roommate.
Eep (to Mouse): I don't know how much help I would have been. My brain's not working much better. Besides, I gotta do something to remind Robert and Wanda why they room with me. :p
Mouse (to Eep): I think they're getting a pretty good deal, if you cook & tidy up all the time. But, then I'm biased. :-) Well then, cookies, beer & maybe, some champagne?
Eep (to Mouse): Well, I used to work the least, and Robert always gave me a break on the rent cause my jobs kinda always sucked so, you know. Wait. Doesn't champagne make you kinda, uh... frisky? Not that I'd complain!
Mouse (to Eep): I was just seeing, if you were paying attention... but I got a bottle of bubbly, anyway. :-)
Eep (to Mouse): Um, yeah. You got my attention.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, I can't remember what the other is, so I'm getting in line. I'll be home shortly. Can I ask you a stupid question?
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. Sure. But only if I can give you a stupid answer. Kidding! Kidding. Sorry. What do you wanna ask?
Mouse (to Eep): Fair enough... Are you happy? I mean, you seem like you are, but I've got a touch of the dumb.
Eep (to Mouse): Wait. You mean with you?
Mouse (to Eep): Yeah... I know it's stupid to ask. But, I guess I just kinda wanted to hear it. I've been a little worried that the reason you've been so attentive & affectionate is because you still feel guilty.
Eep (to Mouse): No, no. It's not stupid. Uh, yeah. I, um... I know I'm not good with this kinda shit. Sorry. But, um, yes.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh good, me too.
Eep (to Mouse): I don't remember the last time I was this happy. And yeah, I do still feel kinda guilty. More like an idiot, actually.
Mouse (to Eep ): I wish you would stop beating yourself up about that... I think we were broken up for a shorter period than Vincent & Poppy were married.
Eep (to Mouse): Ha ha ha! Yeah. Yeah. I think you're right. Heh.
Mouse (to Eep): Please, don't ever tell Vincent I said that... he would kill me. :-P I had promised him I wouldn't make jokes about it, anymore.
Eep (to Mouse): I won't utter a word. Promise. Still a little sensitive about it, is he?
Mouse (to Eep): Just a smidge... he told me the annulment went through so it no longer exists & then he made anobscure star wars reference that I didn't understand.
Eep (to Mouse): Um, I didn't think I was acting too different, but I guess I was just feeling grateful? I mean, I KNOW I was feeling grateful. I kinda live with my foot in my mouth, so, uh... I guess I was just super glad you forgave me. Kinda made me realized what a lucky son of a bitch I am.
Mouse (to Eep): Of course, I forgave you, I'm in love with you...
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. I know. Again, I'm a lucky son of a bitch. I love you too.
Mouse (to Eep): Don't get me wrong, I was prepared to run away & never speak to you again, if you hadn't changed your mind. But, Vincent & Poppy were sabotaging my plans, which I'm now quite thankful about... I don't really want to go on tour again.
Eep (to Mouse): God I know. I was a real fucking moron. And I wouldn't have made you move away. That wouldn't be fair to Vincent or anyone else. I, uh, I was actually planning to go back to Florida so you wouldn't have had to see me.
Mouse (to Eep): God. Don't ever do that.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. Really. Apparently I wanted to make sure I was gonna be as miserable as possible.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, can we make a promise to each other that if we do ever break up, neither one of us has to move? I mean, I hope it never comes to that...
Eep (to Mouse): God, me too! But, um, I agree. If we end up splitting, yeah, if we break up, neither one of us moves.
Mouse (to Eep): Ok, now on to better things... I'm home with cookies & booze.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh, uh, heh. Cool. I'm still in the kitchen. Brewing coffee. Doors open. Come on in.
Mouse (to Eep): Okay... um, Wanda has planted herself firmly on the couch. And, she's grinning at me... and wants to ask me about Poppy.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh dear God. RUN! What the fuck does she wanna know about Poppy? Want me to come out there?
Mouse (to Eep): She's scaring me… You may need to come out here.
Eep (to Mouse): OK. Um, OK. I know a way to distract her. Just... don't judge me. She has this... fetish? Fantasy? I dunno. Just be prepared to run into my room when I walk out of the kitchen. And... Um, I'm already sorry. This is so fucking dumb...
Mouse (to Eep): Ok... Why do I have a feeling I'm not going to like this?
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. It's some romantic novel bullshit. It's... I'm gonna "accidentally" spill coffee on my shirt. And come out of the kitchen pulling it off while I complain about it staining. Like I said, be prepped to run. On my way out.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, if it gets me out this, I'm game.
3 minutes later:
Mouse (to Eep): So, now that I'm in your room, how are you going to be saved from her?
Eep (to Mouse): I'll be there in a second. Her brain will kick back on in a second and she'll realize it's me. Ummm... I mean, she usually does. She's just STARING at me. And ignoring everything I say. Uhhhhh, this is new. What the fuck?
Mouse (to Robert): Can you please go out to the living room and save Eep from Wanda? His escape plan backfired.
Robert (to Mouse): Oh lord. Did he try to distract her by taking his shirt off?
Mouse (to Robert): Yes... so, he's done this sort of thing before?
Robert (to Mouse): I'm finishing up a paragraph, and then I'll go out and "save" him.
Mouse (to Robert): That's fine... I think he may need to suffer a little bit. She was grilling me about Poppy for some odd reason.
Robert (to Mouse): I think he's only done it on purpose once. The first time it happened, it was completely innocent. It took me like 30 minutes to explain why a guy stripping his shirt off in the living room was a fantasy to some people.
Mouse (to Robert): Wow.
Robert (to Mouse): It took almost another hour to explain why HIM stripping off his shirt might be attractive to someone. He's genuinely oblivious.
Mouse (to Robert): I mean, I've seen his chest... and I still stopped for a second until I remembered that I was supposed to be leaving the room. (to Eep) Any luck making your escape, handsome?
Eep (to Mouse): NO. I keep trying to leave, and keep mentioning how you're waiting for me, and she STILL keeps yammering at me. I've told her to shut the fuck up like 5 times.
Robert (to Mouse): OK, I'm sending your man over to you. I've taken his shirt away from him as an apology for Wanda.
Mouse (to Robert): Thank you.
Robert (to Mouse): Not a problem. I may ask you to repay me back with an interview later. ;-)
Mouse (to Robert): I think I can handle an interview...
Robert (to Mouse): Also, do me a favor, and explain to my poor, innocent roommmate... why an attractive man taking off his shirt is not an effective method of distraction when dealing with a pervert.
Mouse (to Robert): I will do my best with the explanation, though all the perverts I know will be mad at me. :-P
Robert (to Mouse): Very good! And tell the perverts you know to save their perversion for someone who can appreciate it. It's what I do.
