At Tesla's Monastery; Colorado Springs, Colorado, American Colonies:
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): You want anything to eat before we go?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): No, thank you.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Yeah. When's the last time you ate? You don't eat when you're nervous, do you?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): ... It upsets my stomach. Miss Emmeline always made me mashed potatoes when I'm nervous. It's the only thing that worked. I'm fine. We should go.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Calm down. We're skipping there, so we'll be there in literally two seconds. There will be plenty of time to snoop around, get shot at and regret the life decisions that led us to this point. We can take ten minutes to get a million weapons, and shove mashed potatoes in your face. C'mon. I want a cup of coffee anyway.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): ... Okay.
A couple minutes later, in the kitchen:
Nathaniel (to Charles): Is there any coffee hanging around, Chuck?
Charles (to Nathaniel & Hiiri): <sigh> No, Mr. Jones. Would you like me to start some for you?
Nathaniel (to Charles): Nah. I got it. I'm gonna make food, anyway. You can get lost. I'm sure you got someone to see.
Hiiri (to Charles): Hi!
Charles (to Hiiri): Oh! Um, h-- hello, Miss Zoe. Is there... Do you need anything? Else, I mean? (to Nathaniel) Is something wrong?
Hiiri (to Charles): ... No, it's fine... um, Charles... I just haven't seen you in awhile. I'll just sit over here, quietly.
Nathaniel (to Charles): We've got it. Thanks, Charles. (to Hiiri) Heh. You'd better pop those eyeballs back in your head, girl. Heh. What will Felix think? Here. Mashed potatoes.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): ... Felix? Oh right, MY boyfriend. Thank you for the mashed potatoes.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. Zoe's at any rate, yeah. What about you, Junior? You got anyone back home waiting on you?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): You mean, besides my adopted family? Not really. I mean there's this guy but… well, he's way older than me. He treats me like his kid sister & not a love interest, anyway. I think he feels like he needs to protect me since he's the one responsible for getting me out from under CLANNG's control.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Ha ha! Sorry. I didn't mean to laugh, but Zoe kinda had a thing for unavailable guys too. Heh... If you're anything like her, it'll pass.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): I don't have a thing for unavailable guys… Just one… unavailable guy… Oh forget it.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. One isn't enough?
Several hours later, at a burlesque house; New London, Britannia:
Una (to Craine): Could you please explain to me why we're here? This place looks like it needs a good scrubbing because everything is sticky.
Craine (to Una): Everything isn't... Oh. Wait. It might be.
Una (to Craine): <sigh> That still doesn't answer my question… Are you attempting to include me in more of your debauchery? I draw the line, after that incident with the priest, winemaker & the clown.
Craine (to Una): I did NOT know that man was a clown. What happened to common decency? Did it just die? You can't trust people any more. Shame. I wouldn't say this is debauchery. I just wanted to treat you to a drink, boss. To apologize for the clown... The terrible TERRIFYING clown. Oh. And maybe to check out some of the talent. A bit. I feel like I need to prove something now. I don't know what, but SOMETHING.
Una (to Craine): Fine… (to Clara Pearl) Pardon me, we need drinks.
Clara (to Una & Craine): Well, that's a real shame, darlin', as I'm not a waitress.
Craine (to Clara & Una): If you're not working then why are you using that ridiculous accent? Nevermind! I've decided it's cute. Who's the sexiest person I should harass to get drinks?
Clara (to Craine): Ridiculous accent? That's rich coming from a city slicker like yourself. I happen to be the talent 'round here. Both on stage and off… You'll have to ask Bella for drinks.
Una (to Clara & Craine): … Oh, lovely. It's an entire bar made up of pompous asses.
Craine (to Clara): City slicker? Ha ha ha! What is that? You are adorable! And new... Good to know. (to Una) Sit right here, boss lady. I will booze us.
Clara (to Craine): … You must be that Wolfram fella everyone's been blathering on about. And yes, I'm new. Been here three weeks.
Craine (to Clara): Blathering? Surely not! Well, maybe. Want to find out if what they're saying is true? Has it all been massively complimentary? Does it matter if it wasn't?
Clara (to Craine): HAHAHA! What? Are you kidding me, darlin'? Everything I've heard has been SO incredibly tame… I'm into something much darker.
Craine (to Clara): REEEEALLY? Do go on. Wait. Will the evening reach its sweaty, nasty climax with a death? In which case, I'm not interested...Well, that's not entirely true. It depends on whose death we're discussing. If it's mine-- or a chicken's-- I'm not interested. You laugh, but that chicken knew what was coming, and she WASN'T happy. I will never go back to Kentucky. If it's someone else's death, I have a suggestion. He's a clown. He doesn't really count as a person. Would that be a problem?
Clara (to Craine): No… I hate clowns, darlin'. Can't stand 'em, in fact. My time in the rodeo cured me of that interest… Oh, Jocko... He had the BIGGEST shoes.
Craine (to Clara): All shoes and no tackle, eh? Don't you hate it when that happens?
Clara (to Craine): Yeah. I especially hate it when he had absolutely NO tackle. Some sort of accident. It left him a gelding. Sad, really... But not sad, enough… Shouldn't you be spending time with your lady friend, Mister?
Craine (to Clara): Oh! Shite! I need massive amounts of booze, and I need it now. I am SO gonna get fired...
Clara (to Craine): Heh. You best practice your cowering now, darlin'. She looks like a hardass.
Craine (to Clara): Ha! Of course she is. Why else would I be so interested?
A minute later:
Craine (to Una): Here you are, boss. Sorry for the delay. The new girl distracted me with all her talk of dark, un-dreamed of kinks,
Una (to Craine): … I'm surprised you remembered me, at all.
Craine (to Una): Sorry! Sorry. I don't get called "tame" very often. It threw me. ...Actually, I don't think I've EVER been called tame. Huh. Could be kinda sexy under the right circumstances, I suppose. Do you know anyone with a sweater fetish?
Una (to Craine): I don't even know what that means… Go play with your new little friend. I will take the opportunity to head back to the house.
Craine (to Una): Awww. C'mon, boss. Don't leave! ... Man. Damn. Ah, well. I suppose it was nice while it lasted.
A few minutes later:
Clara (to Craine): Boss lady, leave you, huh? That's really too bad? … Ever had knives thrown at you while you're tied down to a spinning table? I ask cuz my regular assistant seems to have developed a case of yellow fever. (to Roy) You heard me, Roy! You're chicken! Yeah, I said it! (to Craine) C'mon. Wanna live dangerously?
Craine (to Clara): Not professionally. What are you offering me in return?
Clara (to Craine): I just told ya… The chance to have knives thrown at you while people watch. It's quite an aphrodisiac.
Craine (to Clara): When you put it like that... Buy me my drink, and you've got a deal. I might be a trollop, but I like to pretend I'm not cheap.
Clara (to Craine): Heh. Can do, darlin'. Anything in particular or dealer's choice?
Craine (to Clara): Strong. Preferably without a mickey. I want to remember this later.
Clara (to Craine): Heehee. Be back in minute.
Craine (to Clara): Take your time. I've just spotted an excellent distraction.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Will you fucking relax? Keep reminding yourself: I'm old enough to be here. Just smile. No one will question it. Trust me.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Okay… How come you chose to partner up with me? Everyone else still can't seem to decide if they want to lock me up or not.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Cuz I don't think you're Hiiri, not our version, anyway. And Zoe has NEVER been good at blending in. Heh. I'm guessing that you're the same. We'll let the sneaky motherfuckers run the perimeter, and we'll be the bait... Don't worry about everyone They'll calm down eventually.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): I certainly hope so. I'd like to get back home to my own body sometime this year. I know you all would like that, too. Zoe's being great about this but I know she's anxious to be herself again. Not to mention her guy, he's trying not to freak. ... Are we not here on business? I'm confused.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): You will. Jesus ass-kissing Christ. You are all fucking business, aren't you? We're all trying not to freak, Junior, but we'll manage. I wish I could say this is the weirdest shit we've faced.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): ... Are we not here on business? I'm confused. (to Craine) Craine!?! You're here! In a place like this... Oh right. Shit. Um. Ignore me...
Craine (to Nathaniel): Hello, Mr. Scowls. Nice to see you again. Were you looking for me? (to Zoe) How about you Zoe? You couldn't resist seeing me again, could you? Admit it. You missed my arse. And my charm. Mostly my arse. I'm willing to be where ever you want me. Oh. My. God. You talked to your cousin. He's into the three-way.
Hiiri (to Craine): Three way? I have no idea what you're talking about... (to Nathaniel) Nate? Help?
Nathaniel (to Craine): It wasn't her idea to come here, Captain. It was mine. I'm sure you don't mind. You got time to chat? (to Hiiri) Jus' keep smiling...
Craine (to Nathaniel): ...Wait. You're not the cousin, are you?
Nathaniel (to Craine): Heh... Yeah. I'd be the cousin.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): What did he mean, by three way?
Craine (to Hiiri): Awww, pudding. That wide-eyed routine is delicious! (to Nathaniel) So, this is interesting. Very interesting indeed. I would love to talk, but I can't. Not this second. I've got a date with knives. But stick around. Watch the performance. We can talk about the REAL show later.
Hiiri (to Craine & Nathaniel) ... I uh, I need to go outside.
Nathaniel (to Craine): ... Yeah. We'll catch up in a few. (to Hiiri) Hold up, cousin o' mine!
A moment later, outside:
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Are you alright?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine... It's just sometimes I forget this isn't my world... Remember that guy I told you about?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): No way. It was THAT guy?
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Yeah. But, he wasn't anything like that... Not at all.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): I should hope not or else you got some serious fucking issues. You wanna sit this one out? Trust me, it's gonna get weird enough in there without you knowing the other version.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): No. I'll be fine. It's hard for me to be "bait" if I'm cowering out here plus we don't want to cause any suspicions about Zoe. I think the initial shock has warn off. I'll be fine. Really... I hope.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): If you say so. If he's too much to handle, just laugh at whatever perverted shit he just said, and walk away. You're hot enough that you can get away with it.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): ... I am? Damn, Zoe's so friggin' lucky. I do not look like this, at all.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Heh. You will when you're older, probably. Zoe didn't look like that either before she got sped up.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel): Heh. That's good to know. C'mon, let's get this freakshow on the road.
Fiona (to Nathaniel & Hiiri): If you two are done with your gossiping, your mark is almost done with his little "stage performance." The girl chucking blades at him has no idea what she's doing. This is hilarious!
Hiiri (to Fiona): ... Oh my God! Does she keep hitting him? Is he alright? ... Wait. Or are you saying that cuz she's missing?
Fiona (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): No. I'm saying that because I'm fairly sure she's trying. He hadn't been hit... Oops. Scratch that.
Hiiri (to Fiona & Nathaniel): HAHAHA! ... Oh sorry. I shouldn't laugh at another person's misfortune.
Nathaniel (to Hiiri & Fiona): Heh. In this case, I think you get a pass. C'mon.
A couple minutes later, on stage:
Clara (to Craine): Oops. Sorry about that... Take a bow, studly.
Craine (to Clara): Heh heh. Well, well. That was a thing.
Clara (to Craine): That should have gone much smoother. Someone messed with my rig... Probably that stupid cow, Martha.
Craine (to Clara): This isn't the worst way I've been banged up on stage, but it's the most interesting.
Clara (to Craine): Clearly, I have to make it up to you, darlin'.
Craine (to Clara): And I would LOVE to let you. But first, I have some family bonding to see to. See those two over there? Cousins.
Clara (to Craine): It's only impressive, darlin', if you actually do it. Otherwise, it's just smoke.
Craine (to Clara): <sigh> Don't I know it. I fear this maybe more about my work than my preferred method of recreational activities. Still. I live in hope.
A short time later:
Craine (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): Enjoy the show?
Hiiri (to Craine & Nathaniel): ... There was a show?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): Apparently.
Craine (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): Awww. Come on! Knives, blood, leather bloody straps? ... You didn't see any of that? I'm hurt. I did it all for you. And you. For both of you.
Nathaniel (to Craine & Hiiri): No you didn't.
Hiiri (to Craine): Look, we need answers.
Craine (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): I was afraid you were going to say something like that. Didn't we already do this dance, cutie? I already told you everything I will. Or CAN for that matter. I'm just the hired help. What info could I possibly have that's worth having? Now how about we change the subject?
Nathaniel (to Craine & Hiiri): Bullshit. You may not get told anything by Una, but that doesn't mean you don't know nothing.
Hiiri (to Craine): I DO NOT have fucking time for this shit. I need to know what happened to Franklin's research after he died. Tell us what we want to know or I'll gut you right here, you giant toolbag.
Craine (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): Ha ha ha! Oh my GOD. What was that? That was adorable! Was that your first time threatening someone? You're kidding with me, right? You won't gut me.
Nathaniel (to Craine & Hiiri): She might not, but I will.
Hiiri (to Craine): You have no idea what I'm capable of & after the week I've been having, some bloodshed might make me feel a whole hell of a lot better. So, stop fucking with us & answer the damn question.
Craine (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): Alright. Alright. How about we take the very large knife away from my prig, and talk about this like civil, non-knife wielding maniacs? Where were you even hiding that thing?
Nathaniel (to Craine & Hiiri): Please. It's not that big.
Hiiri (to Craine & Nathaniel): Heh. You should have seen the other knife.
Craine (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): ... There's no need to be rude. Eek! Easy does it there! Alright already!
Craine (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): From what I can tell, my boss kept the research and patents that looked like they might make money, airships, auto-ma-cars, steam engines, war machines, that sort of thing... She's trying to get Vernian Industries back up and running with those. The rest of all the unsavory, fun stuff, she sold. BEFORE I got there, I'll remind you. No names in the books as to whom. There were only initials listed.
Hiiri (to Craine): What about his "universal portal" project? It was his baby.
Craine (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): Universal what... Never heard of it.
Hiiri (to Craine): Seriously? It was what he spent all of his free time obsessing over. He wanted to harness portal energy. So, that there could be fast travel accessible to everyone. You could walk through a portal in New London & a moment later be in Qin... Are you playing dumb?
Nathaniel (to Hiiri): He's lying. Not even well. For one, both Una and Eva knew all about that experiment, and she wouldn't have sold off something that potentially valuable to the ISS. For two, he's got like 50 different tells.
Hiiri (to Nathaniel & Craine): So, can I stab him?
Nathaniel (to Craine & Hiiri): Yeah. Why the hell not? He's not gonna tell us anything, and my guess is that he was gonna try to make a grab for whatever info looked valuable, so he could sell it off himself. That was your plan, right?
Craine (to Hiiri & Nathaniel): Ack! No, no! I swear! I mean, yeah, I was looking. For contingency reasons, but I wasn't plotting a robbery. I didn't come across any plans for a portal generator. Not yet. But someone in the company is working on something big sounding. I'm guessing that. The boss has slashed funding for every other lab. Except one. In New York. I can get you the address.
Hiiri (to Craine & Nathaniel): Wonderful... Thank you.
