Vincent (to Mouse): We're about to head out, sweetie. I left ur pressie & Eep's pressie under the tree, along w/ a few extras. Take care of urself!
Mouse (to Vincent): Bye, little brother. Did you get your prezzies? I even left one for Poppy. Have fun!
Vincent (to Mouse): I did, darling. Thank U! We're going 2 wait 'til X-mas 2 actually unwrap them. U know how I love a bit of a tease. Try not 2 miss me 2 much!
Mouse (to Vincent): I'll try my best! :-)
An hour later:
Eep (to Mouse): Hey.
Mouse (to Eep): Hey yourself!
Eep (to Mouse): I just, uh, got a letter from a lawyer. Um...
Mouse (to Eep): Really? I'm assuming it's from my lawyer... it was going to be your giftmas present. Damn Will & his being efficient. I'm sorry, I know I probably shouldn't have, but it's been terrible watching you deal with all that stuff. And, you said you couldn't ask me to do it, so I figured it might be a good present. If you don't want to bother with it, I'll tell him never mind.
Eep (to Mouse): I... I don't know what to say. God. I just... Christ.
Mouse (to Eep): If I overstepped my bounds, I'm really sorry. I just wanted to do something nice for you & I thought this was practical. And now, I'm babbling. I'm an idiot. I'm a babbling idiot.
Eep (to Mouse): No. You're not. You're not an idiot. You're... It's just, Jesus. I don't know. I mean...
Mouse (to Eep): Will already handles legal stuff for me & he gives me a deal because I've deejayed several events for him, so we have a bit of a trade going on, so if you're worried about the money it's not costing very much.
Eep (to Mouse): Um, yeah. I was. I can't... I mean, I don't... Uh.. OK. That's good to know. God. No one has ever... Jesus. I'm in shock. Sorry. Sorry. Christ. I'm sorry. I'm kinda acting like a dick. Um, thank you.
Mouse (to Eep): It's okay. I didn't expect him to write to you so soon. I had a whole plan of presenting it to you on Christmas day in a card… Umm, how did the talk with Wanda go?
Eep (to Mouse): Long. Really, really long.
Mouse (to Eep): Ugh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?
Eep (to Mouse): Uh. Yeah. Mostly. I think. No. Fuck. I don't know. It, uh, it wasn't a fun talk.
Mouse (to Eep): Did you, at least, get some things resolved with her? Or was it a waste of time?
Eep (to Mouse): I dunno. I really don't. Apparently she saw Eddie's film forever ago. She... God. She, uh, she said it was the reason she tried to kiss me. I guess she thought of me as kinda sexless before that. Which is ALWAYS something you wanna hear.
Mouse (to Eep): Wow... I can't believe she said that.
Eep (to Mouse): I think I'd rather go back to her thinking of me as sexless rather than hear her go on about how hot that movie was. Fat Christ!
Mouse (to Eep): I think I would, too.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. Well, it's good to know that she only finds me completely sexless unless I'm bleeding or making out with some dude... Or, in her words, "I"m really, REALLY horny and I was a damn idiot." Fuck it. Why the fuck should I care what she thinks?
Mouse (to Eep): Good, god... I certainly don't think you're sexless... um, there is no way I can say anything else that's not pervy.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh. Um, yeah. Well, your opinion is the important one.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, that's good.
Several hours later:
Mouse (to Eep): Hey, are you ok? You & that girl seem to be talking really intensely.
Eep (to Mouse): Uh, yeah. I think she's flirting with me to try to get in free.
Mouse (to Eep): Wow, she has no idea who she's messing with.
Eep (to Mouse): Course she's already paid the cover and she still won't leave...
Mouse (to Eep): I think that means she is hitting on you.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh. Oh! Shit. Uh... So, the mentioning of the girlfriend isn't working. HOW DO I GET RID OF HER?
Mouse (to Eep): You point me out to her, then I'll wave... and smile at her.
Eep (to Mouse): Uh... She's still here. She keeps saying how cute we are together, but she won't fucking leave. Can I kick her out? Am I allowed to do that?
Mouse (to Eep): I'm not sure... Where's Jules? Get him to take over for you.
Eep (to Mouse): She keeps talking like she knows me.
Mouse (to Eep): Maybe, you do know her... Does she look familiar?
Eep (to Mouse): I'm totally going to come hide behind you. No! I feel like a pussy hiding behind my girlfriend, but Christ!
Mouse (to Eep): I'm okay with that.
Eep (to Mouse): God. Maybe she knows me from high school or something. She kept yammering on about being a fan of my "work."
Mouse (to Eep): Oh god! Ummm, I don't think your “work” is a reference to your artwork.
Eep (to Mouse): Who the fuck does she think I am?
Mouse (to Eep): ummm, the antagonist in a certain film.
Eep (to Mouse): Shit. Has EVERYONE seen this bullshit? Jesus!
Mouse (to Eep): It might not be that... I'm just guessing.
Eep (to Mouse): Fuck. Knowing my luck? Probably.
An hour later:
Mouse (to Eep): Well great, now she's over here...
Eep (to Mouse): Oh God. NOW what the fuck does she want?
Mouse (to Eep): Oh god, She just asked me, how I felt about dating a porn star?
Eep (to Mouse): Uhhhh...
Mouse (to Eep): I told her that I had no idea what she was talking about & to leave me the fuck alone.
Eep (to Mouse): Well, I guess that answers the question about where she knows me from. Jesus Christ! God fucking damn it. How many people have seen this thing?
Mouse (to Eep): I don't know... Maybe, I should get you a shirt that says porn star & then people might think it's ironic.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. Then they'd just think I'm a giant douchebag instead. I'm not sure which I'd prefer.
Mouse (to Eep): I'm sorry... I don't want to make you feel bad about this anymore than you already do. It's just weird for me... I mean, other people have seen you doing things that I never have... and then asking me about it. It's new territory for me.
Eep (to Mouse): Fuck. God. Um, yeah. No. I understand.
Mouse (to Eep): I'm sorry. I shouldn't take my frustration out on you. That girl had me a bit flustered.
Eep (to Mouse): No, it's alright. It's, uh... Fuck. I understand. I don't know how I'd feel if the tables were turned.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, the closest to anything like that I've ever done was the club calendar that we did for charity, last year. And, the most risqué photo was of Vincent... of course.
Eep (to Mouse): Why the fuck does that not surprise me?
Mouse (to Eep): Because, you've met my brother.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. Yeah I fucking have. And if there's a chance to be a total pervert, he will.
Mouse (to Eep): I'm feeling like running away & being a hermit wouldn't be such a bad thing... Soo, how do you feel about Australia? Wanna run off to Oz?
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. I dunno. Everything in Australia can and will kill you.
Mouse (to Eep): Damn it, you're right...
Eep (to Mouse): Europe? There aren't any killer spiders in Europe, are they?
Mouse (to Eep): I like Europe & I don't think they have killer spiders... that could be doable. Wanna go? I mean, you're already packed. :-P
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. I've never been to Europe. Sounds good. And, hey, it's Europe. They won't care about a porno, right? :p
Mouse (to Eep): So, very true... I've seen European television. Whatever happened in that movie is probably boring & pedestrian in comparison.
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. I can hope. Honestly, I don't know. I don't remember like 70-80% of what went on. I, uh, I wasn't really all there during the filming. So hey! You're not the only one tho doesn't know all that's in it. ... Which, uh, doesn't really make it sound any better.
Mouse (to Eep): God, I'm really a jerk. I need to think before I speak.
Eep (to Mouse): What? Oh, fuck! No! No. You're not a jerk! That was supposed to be a joke. Um, I was just trying to make you laugh.
Mouse (to Eep): Come over here, so I can kiss you & then let's close up.
Eep (to Mouse): God. Best idea I've heard all night.