Mouse (to Eep): I am not at all surprised! Do you want me to come over & make you some toast & tea?
Eep (to Mouse): Christ. I don't know that I wanna expose you to this. It's, uh, it's not pretty. I'm pretty much immobile on the couch. I'm, um, I'm sorry for whatever fool ass thing I said last night. I feel like I probably embarrassed myself. I haven't had the courage to check my Twitter stream and confirm this.
Mouse (to Eep): Considering that you came over & brought me stuff when I was sick, it's the least, I can do. Mostly, you just gushed on about how you thought I was gorgeous & wanted to rip my clothes off... nothing too terrible. :-)
Eep (to Mouse): Oh God... Wow. I'm so sorry. Well, not about the complimenting you part. But, sorry about, um... I don't think when I'm drunk.
Mouse (to Eep): It was quite refreshing, actually... And, since you were drunk, I won't hold you to the marriage proposal. :-)
Eep (to Mouse): Oh God, the what?
Mouse (to Eep): Just kidding... you didn't do that.
Eep (to Mouse): This is way unfair. I am WAY too hung over for this shit.
Mouse (to Eep): I'm sorry, I won't tease you, anymore. I'm heading your way with my hangover cure & some magic soup. If it works for my brother, it should undoubtedly work for you.
Eep (to Mouse): Thank you. And never let me drink that much again. I feel like I'm dying.
Mouse (to Eep): I think it might be what you were drinking that's the problem... Egg Nog with bourbon & light rum, Ugh!
Eep (to Mouse): Well, it tasted good at the time.
A short time later:
Mouse (to Eep): Hey, Robert let me in, I'm in the kitchen heating up the magic soup... do you want me to bring it out to you when it's ready?
Eep (to Mouse): Please. I don't think I can move yet.
Mouse (to Eep): Alright, soup, grilled cheese sandwich & tea heading your way.
An hour later:
Mouse (to Eep): If you need anything else, give me a call or text. I've got some errands to run. Feel better. :-)
Eep (to Mouse): Um. Thank you. God. I'm so sorry I'm such a mess today.
Mouse (to Eep): Oh sweetie, it's honestly okay. I've had to take care of Vincent in much worse conditions... ask him about peppermint schnapps. He drank a whole bottle of it when he was 17. I don't think he can handle the smell of it, still.
Eep (to Mouse): Jesus! Just the thought of that is enough to make me wanna throw up. Again. Guh! Why the fuck would he drink a whole bottle of peppermint schnapps. Just... God!
Mouse (to Eep): Oh god, I'm sorry.
Eep (to Mouse): No. It's OK. I'm, uh, oof. God. Apparently, my stomach is still a little queasy. It DOES make me want to buy him nothing but peppermint-flavored shit for Christmas, though.
Mouse (to Eep): Yeah, that’s what I thought too,. It was right after he had those LARPers at our house & I caught Rebecca in my bedroom. I thought he needed to learn a lesson. And, apparently I learned one too... that the smell makes him nauseous.
Eep (to Mouse): That doesn't sound like it ended well.
Mouse (to Eep): No, it pretty much ended my career in the practical joke & revenge game.
Eep (to Mouse): God, I can imagine. Well, now I'm glad I never gave him a candy cane or anything. :p Though, it's good to know I can threaten him with one.
Mouse (to Eep): It's my gift to you. :-)
Eep (to Mouse): Wait. And you found one of his LARPer friends in your ROOM? Dead God. How creepy is that?
Mouse (to Eep): Yeah, it was. She was wandering around my room. I caught her opening the dresser drawer with my dainties in it... At least, I still to this day hope, she was opening it & not closing it, because that just makes it weirder.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh. Oh GOD. It's like a scene from Misery. Holy shit! That makes Vincent seem like the pinnacle of good behavior by comparison.
Mouse (to Eep): Yeah, I ended up having a slightly awkward conversation with her about boundaries. She grew up with her Dad & 3 brothers. And, all of her friends are boys. So, girl things were a bit of a mystery to her. I probably could have handled it better, but it squigged me out a bit.
Eep (to Mouse): You didn't have her arrested. Sounds like you handled it alright to me.
Mouse (to Eep): True... Are you feeling any better?
Eep (to Mouse): I am, actually. You weren't kidding with the bit about magic soup.
Mouse (to Eep): I'm glad, I was hoping to get the opportunity to see you upright today. And, since you're feeling better... what on earth did you say to Robert last night? He was teasing me about "my intentions" when I came over earlier. I had absolutely no idea what to say, so I think I just smiled & blushed a bit.
Eep (to Mouse): Did he say anything else about it?
Mouse (to Eep): I don't think so, I was in shock. He just grinned a big grin & asked me, "What are your intentions towards our Eep?" I think he may have been messing with me.
Eep (to Mouse): That little... He's probably just fucking with you. I, uh, I was probably talking about you last night.
Mouse (to Eep): I thought as much, but it threw me off guard. I'm sure he thinks I'm a stuttering idiot.
Eep (to Mouse): Don't worry. He's used to me.
Mouse (to Eep): What are your plans for the evening or are you still recuperating?
Eep (to Mouse): Heh. I'm okay. Nope, no plans.
Mouse (to Eep): Interested in an evening of cuddling on my couch with a movie?
Eep (to Mouse): Wow. That sounds, uh, pretty awesome actually. I really kinda want to avoid my roommates now. I get the feeling whatever I said last night is pretty embarrassing.
Mouse (to Eep): Sure, do you want me to come get you?
Eep (to Mouse): Yes, please.
Mouse (to Eep): I'm on my way.
45 minutes later:
Mouse (to Eep): Ummm, can you please save me? I've been ambushed by your roommates in your living room?
Eep (to Mouse): What? Oh shit! Yeah. I'll be right there. Now what the fuck do they want?
Mouse (to Eep): Apparently, something you said to Robert last night, has him & Wanda concerned... well, more Wanda, it appears.
Eep (to Mouse): Fuck.
Mouse (to Eep): What the hell did you say !?!
Eep (to Mouse): I don't know! I really don't know. I just kinda, um, ramble when I'm drunk. God. Do you feel like you're a teenager again, or something? They're acting like you're taking me to prom.
Mouse (to Eep): Umm yeah, just a little bit... And, it's really nice that they both now know about ALL of my tattoos & piercings.
Eep (to Mouse): Jesus. I'm really sorry. Oh. Oh my God. Oh my FUCKING God! I think I know what it was. I think Robert asked me if I was in love with you last night.
Mouse (to Eep): He doesn't pull any punches, does he?
Eep (to Mouse): God, no. Where do you think Wanda learned it from? He makes up for being quiet by being direct. God, I'm sorry.
Mouse (to Eep): Just make your escape... I'll distract them, somehow.
Eep (to Mouse): OK. Um, I'm trying to remain calm here, but did Wanda really just ask me about my frenum piercing? Please tell me you were the one that told her I used to be pierced...
Mouse (to Eep): Ummm, I have never discussed your piercings with her at all. I know they're just concerned about you since you haven't dated a lot. And, it might be sweet, if it wasn't happening to me.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. We need to go. We need to go now.
Mouse (to Eep): Right behind you...
10 minutes later:
Eep (to Vincent): Hey. I know like a million years ago you saw that movie I was in, and, um, you... Uh... You saw the piercing I had in it...
Vincent (to Eep): Yes. Tres sexy. Can we discuss this 2morrow? I rlly can't talk now.
Eep (to Vincent): No. Um, quick. Just quick. Did you ever tell Wanda what kinda piercing it was? I mean, did she ever ask? Did you tell her?
Vincent (to Eep): No. Of course not! I didn't even tell my sister. I figured if U still had it, she'd find out soon enough. ;-}
Eep (to Vincent): Fuck. Yeah. That figures. OK. Um, thanks. Sorry I bothered you.
Vincent (to Mouse): Darling, is ur boytoy alrite? He's sending me cryptic txts.
Mouse (to Vincent): Um, Wanda & Robert ambushed me when I went to pick him up... Apparently, he said somethings last night that caused concern.
Vincent (to Mouse): Oh 4 goodness's sake. It's sweet that they're so concerned & all, but it's not as tho ur a serial killer.
Mouse (to Vincent): And, they now know all about my tattoos & piercings... then Wanda mentioned a piercing that Eep used to have.
Vincent (to Mouse): That's EXACTLY what he asked me abt! He wanted 2 know if I told Wanda abt it.
Mouse (to Vincent): Wanda saw the movie. She told me on our girl's day out. I'm fairly certain that she told Robert too. I didn't tell Eep, because I didn't want to make waves with his roommates.
Vincent (to Mouse): Uh oh. I think ur boy just figured that out. He was DEFINITELY pierced in that flick & frm what he said, he was pierced on camera. He said he didn't have it any more. Unless that's not true... ;}
Mouse (to Vincent): Considering that I had to look it up when he mentioned it... he doesn't have it anymore. Wait... He got pierced on camera? Gah, the more I hear about that damn thing, the more I am horrified... & slightly curious.
Vincent (to Mouse): Well, I didn't see vry much of it, so I can't rlly give U any info. Tho I can't rlly blame Wanda for getting curious.
Mouse (to Vincent): Yeah, well it apparently caused her to try and kiss him.
Vincent (to Mouse): WHAT?
Mouse (to Vincent): Not since he & I have been dating. It happened a few weeks before we met.
Vincent (to Mouse): Wanda tried to kiss Eep? Oh. Emm. Gee. Poppy is taking a bath, so I have a bit of time 2 talk. Spill!
Mouse (to Vincent): They went to a movie... she tried to kiss him, he didn't reciprocate. Eep says he's over it & that she's not interested in him, at all. But, clearly something was said last night while the three of them were drinking that got Wanda & Robert in a tizzy.
Vincent (to Mouse): Wow. I wld have never expected he wouldn't have reciprocated. W.O.W. He crushed on her 4EVAH B4 he dated U.
Mouse (to Vincent): Gee, thanks
Vincent (to Mouse): Oh don't do that. YOU R the 1 he kissed (& did more if I remember) & YOU were the 1 he followed across country. Trust me, sister dear. He crushed on Wanda, but he was interested in YOU. I've seen the way he's acted arnd both of U.
Mouse (to Vincent): Don't get me wrong. I am in no way questioning his feelings about me. His actions & words speak volumes to me. I'm just not sure about Wanda's motivations... I mean, according to Eep, she never seemed interested & then poof. Well, now he's being Mr. Broody & smoking on the porch, so obviously he's thinking hard about something.
Vincent (to Mouse): Did she tell U Y she ended up watching the movie? Or Y that movie might have changed her mind abt Broody McBroodyson?
Mouse (to Vincent): Well, curiosity, sexually frustrated & she knew he had a crush on her. Mostly that she was horny, so very horny. Why she decided to admit this to me is, beyond my comprehension? It's quite amazing that you & I seem to be the only two people on the planet that haven't seen the whole film.
Vincent (to Mouse): Well, we Potters may B perverts, but we R ETHICAL perverts. I'm guessing she told U b/c she felt rlly, RLLY guilty abt it. If YOU Eep's g/f, could 4give her, she would be absolved w/o ever having 2 tell Eep she violated his trust by watching his p0rn.
Mouse (to Vincent): I told her that she needed to tell him & that I wouldn't say anything to him. Eep said that Robert asked him last night, if he was in love with me & that may have been what prompted the ambush.
Vincent (to Mouse): I guess they didn't realize U 2 were serious abt ea other.
Mouse (to Vincent): Well, I know it took both of us by surprise, but Wanda & Robert are acting like parents or something.
Vincent (to Mouse): Awww, sweetie. Don't get 2 upset. Who else does the poor lad have? His mom died when he was a teenager, I think... & frm what I've gathered abt his dad, he isn't the most caring or INVOLVED parent in the world. I mean, U shld understand that, sweetie. B4 his roommates, who else cared 4 him? They're just being overprotective. It's sweet.
Mouse (to Vincent): I'm not saying that I don't understand, I just wish I wasn't in the middle of it. It just makes me feel like they think I'm some sort of maneater that's sinking her claws into him.
Vincent (to Mouse): I'll admit it. If I didn't know ur boy so well, *I'D* prolly B grilling U abt him as well. ;-}
Mouse (to Vincent); Does that mean I should be thankful that you like to stalk my boyfriend?
Vincent (to Mouse): I FORMERLY stalked ur b/f. I have a new obsession now, U know. ;-)
Mouse (to Vincent): Oh, really? Eep will be happy to hear that. :-) (to Eep) Are you going to stand out on the porch & smoke that whole pack?
Vincent (to Mouse): Shhh! Don't U dare tell!
Mouse (to Vincent): Alright, it'll be our secret.
Vincent (to Mouse): How am I supposed 2 make him anxious if he knows he's not foremost in my thoughts? :p Speaking of which... I'll talk 2 U 2morrow, sweet!
Mouse (to Vincent): Alright, have fun! Sleep Sweet!
Vincent (to Mouse): I plan 2. ;-}
Eep (to Mouse): Oh God. I'm sorry. I was thinking. I didn't realize I was, uh... Jesus! I've worked my way through almost this whole pack. Fuck. Sorry. I'm gonna just, um, air out a bit. I'm sure I smell like an ashtray. God. Um, I dunno. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so, um... You know. So, whatever it is I am.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, clearly something's on your mind.... after all of that stuff with Wanda & Robert.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Um, I think Wanda saw the porn I was in... Fuck. I KNOW she saw it. She wouldn't have known I had that piercing otherwise. It was... ehhhhhhh. It was kinda a plot point...
Mouse (to Eep): Oh...
Eep (to Mouse): Jesus. I'm just embarrassed. Humiliated, actually. I, um, I just don't know how to feel.
Mouse (to Eep): I'm sorry.
Eep (to Mouse): Fuck. It's not your fault. I just feel like an idiot. It's... Whatever. It's not your fault. I was young. I was a retard. It is what it is. I can't change the shitty decisions I once made. You can't either. I really need to just let this go. ANYWAY. God. Thank you for never watching that shit, by the way. You have no idea... Um, thank you.
Mouse (to Eep): Why would I? I've got you live & in person, that's way better.
Eep (to Mouse): ... Oh holy fucking God. Heh.
Mouse (to Eep): Did I say something wrong?
Eep (to Mouse): Ha ha ha! You... Oh, Jesus. Hee hee. No! No. No, not even a little. How the FUCK do you do that? You... God! You make me smile even if I REALLY don't want to. Christ! Fuck you for making me smile! Ha ha ha! I had a perfectly good brood going on, you know. :p
Mouse (to Eep): Oh, sorry I was just being honest... but if you want to stay surly & brooding, go right ahead. I happen to like it when you smile... especially at me.
Eep (to Mouse): No. NOI Not really. Heh. I'm... Well, I'll be OK. I think I'm ALMOST fit for human interaction. Um. I like that you make me smile. You're one of a few with the talent to do so, you know. It's one of the reasons I love you.
Mouse (to Eep): And, I love you because you say things like that.
Eep (to Mouse): Anyway... Do you have some mouthwash I can borrow? I really DO stink at the moment.
Mouse (to Eep): Of course, I have some in my bathroom. Help yourself.
Eep (to Mouse): Yeah. I think it's for the best. Cause I'd really like to kiss you, but I'd rather NOT taste like 3/4 of a pack of Marlboros.
Mouse (to Eep): Well, that's good, because I've been waiting all day for you to kiss me.
Eep (to Mouse): Oh. Wow. Um, then I really shouldn't make you wait any more. See you soon.