Victor (to Persephone): What? Is there something you want, or are you just going to dangle over me smiling like a cat in an aviary?
Persephone (to Victor): I am bored. I'm going to get coffee. Do you want anything? Also, how was your date? You got in rather late.
Victor (to Persephone): Oh. Yes, please. Do you want company? I didn't get in that late. I was back before my curfew. Believe me, I know better than to tempt fate and my mother's wrath by coming in late. How was the boy hunting with Mars?
Persephone (to Victor): Sure, you can tag along, if you'd like. The boy hunting was quite successful. Mostly, for Mars, though. It's the strangest thing. That tall, gawky girl kept having boys come up to her & she kept shooing them away, which just seemed to make them more interested. But, I did end up with a date tonight, if your parents will let me go.
Victor (to Persephone): I think they should. It's not like you've never had a date with a boy before, ant they're trying to be less overprotective. Take full advantage while you can. Mars was the belle of the coffeehouse was she? Heh heh. I'll bet she hated that.
Persephone (to Victor): Yeah, she seemed really annoyed about it. Honestly, it was kinda funny. So, did you have a nice time with Yoyo?
Victor (to Persephone): I did. She forgave me for being a forgetful cad and we watched a movie.
Persephone (to Victor): Oh. Well, that sounds... Frankly, it sounds dull. Nothing interesting happened, at all?
Victor (to Persephone): It wasn't dull! You're... You're trying to get me to give you details, aren't you?
Persephone (to Victor): No... Well yes, maybe just a little detail would be nice. It's not like you don't know things about my escapades.
Victor (to Persephone): Whether I've wanted to know it or not. ... Alright. Don't make that face. It's not like I can keep secrets from you anyway. Let's find someplace to sit. I DO NOT want my parents overhearing me. They've been enough of an embarrassment already.
Persephone (to Victor): Oooh, this is going to be good, I can tell.
A short time later:
Vincent (to Poppy): It looks like you and I are alone, lover. The kids went out to get coffee.
Poppy (to Vincent): Oh, whatever shall we do, honey? Breakfast? Persephone is probably pumping Victor for information about his date. I swear that girl needs to get out more or she's going to end up being one of those middle-aged ladies that reads nothing but romance novels I see in the checkout line.
Vincent (to Poppy): Breakfast sounds divine. Seph is quite the nosy parker. I wonder where on earth she gets that trait from...
Poppy (to Vincent): I have no idea, honey, must be on her mother's side. Besides, I know exactly what they're talking about, so it's not being nosy. It's just being aware.
Vincent (to Poppy): Hee hee. I wasn't insulting you, hun. It's one of the things I love about you. Mostly because I share the trait. :-P Speaking of which, did you dig up any dirt on the two love birds from Yoyo?
Poppy (to Vincent): Heehee, I didn't have to dig, honey. The little man has too much of his father in him, despite his protests to the contrary. All I had to do was remember what you acted like when we first started seeing each other and Voilá!
Vincent (to Poppy): Oh dear. I was afraid you were going to say something like that. I want to huff and complain that they're too young for this sort of carrying on, but I don't suppose they are, are they?
Poppy (to Vincent): No, they're not. Strangely in this one instant they are completely average. Go figure
Vincent (to Poppy): Hee hee. I suppose statistically, something about SOMEONE in this family had to be average. Our Little Man is all grown up... Well, very nearly. He still seems like a baby to me.
Poppy (to Vincent): Wow. I'm impressed, lover. That was one of the only times I think I've ever heard a stereotypical male thing come out of your mouth. Basing his maturity on being sexually active. Really. He may be an "adult", but he still has a lot to learn. Might as well just pin a medal on him or something. The way he's been strutting around here.
Vincent (to Poppy): Hush. I didn't mean that and you know it! Of course he's still a kid, but he's on the long slog to adulthood now, hun. Believe it or not, I still think of him as that sullen little boy we had to pull out of elementary school.
Poppy (to Vincent): I can't believe you didn't notice. Or did you notice and you were just ignoring it?
Vincent (to Poppy): Heh. I think I was rather ignoring it. :-P Hee hee. I think I'm not the only one who isn't ready for the Little Man to grow up. Come here, hun.
Poppy (to Vincent): It's true, lover, I don't like it one bit. I know I always said that one was enough, but do you think it was fair to him? Dear god, is this what that whole empty nest thing feels like?
Vincent (to Poppy): Heh. I don't know, lover. I worried the same thing when we pulled him out of school.
Poppy (to Vincent): I know, honey, I did too... Who the bloody hell is knocking on our door? Are you expecting anyone?
Vincent (to Poppy): Not I, hun.
Poppy (to Vincent): Well, I'll go check, honey. We'll have to postpone our worries about our status as terrible parents for later.
Vincent (to Poppy): Heh. We did fine, lover.
Poppy (to Nathaniel): Well, hello there. Are you looking for Victor or Persephone? I'm sorry to say you just missed them. They're down at the café.
Nathaniel (to Poppy): Hello, Mrs. Robinson! I think I may have the wrong place. I'm looking for either Paul Jones or Vincent Potter.
Poppy (to Nathaniel): Heh. Cute. If you're here to talk to us about our personal relationship with our lord & savior. We're full up on crazy here. Go peddle your god talk somewhere else, honey or is there some new way Pastor Nate & family would like to torment us?
Nathaniel (to Poppy): Oh my god, NO! No, I've had enough of the father, son and holy ghost for three lifetimes. I'm not sure how else to say this, but, Paul, Vincent that is, is my uncle. And I... I kind of need someplace to stay.
Poppy (to Nathaniel): OH! Oh my! Come in, honey. This is something of a surprise. I'm sorry. Where are my manners? I'm Poppy. I'm your aunt.
Nathaniel (to Poppy): I'm Nathaniel, Nate. You're my... You're my *aunt*? I thought Vincent was...
Poppy (to Nathaniel): Oh, that old chestnut, honey? When are they going to get the distinction between queer & gay? It's the 21st century. (to Vincent) Honey, we have a visitor.
Nathaniel (to Poppy): I'm very sorry. My parents said... Well, they have some very old fashioned ideas. They're idiots.
Vincent (to Poppy): So I see. (to Nathaniel) Hello, hun. If you're one of the poor souls looking for Persephone, she should be back soon.
Nathaniel (to Vincent): No, actually, I was looking for you. I'm your nephew, Nate. I'm Peter's son.
Vincent (to Nathaniel): You're what?! Good heavens!
Poppy (to Vincent & Nathaniel): Now, that I'm looking at you both, I can see the resemblance.
Nathaniel (to Poppy & Vincent): I needed someplace to go, and I came across an article about my grandfather and, uh, Vincent online. I thought I might... Well, it doesn't matter. I didn't realize you had gone respectable with a wife and all.
Poppy (to Nathaniel): Heh. You think we're respectable. That's a lark.
Vincent (to Poppy): Hee hee. That's because he doesn't know us very well, lover.
Poppy (to Nathaniel & Vincent): Clearly, you two have some catching up to do. I'll be in the practice room, if you need me, lover.
Vincent (to Poppy): I'll pine for you while you're gone, sweetness. (to Nathaniel) Calm down, hun. We're not going to turn you out. Do you want something to eat?
Nathaniel (to Vincent): Yes, please. I haven't eaten since last night. I gotta say, you're half what I expected & half not what I expected at all.
Vincent (to Nathaniel): Hee hee. Well, I hope you don't mind if I take that as a compliment. What brings you to West Piedmont?
Nathaniel (to Vincent): Dad wanted to send me to one of those camps after they found pics on my phone of me and my boyfriend.
Vincent (to Nathaniel): Oh good God... Are you alright?
Nathaniel (to Vincent): No. I mean, yes. I mean, they didn't hit me or anything, but they said a lot of things... Dad's a pastor, you know, so he was worried about what the congregation would say, and...
Vincent (to Nathaniel): It's alright, hun. You don't have to explain if you can't. Believe me, I understand.
Nathaniel (to Vincent): Thank you, Uncle Vincent.
Vincent: Good God. I do believe this is what would be known as karma. (to Nathaniel) You're more than welcome to stay here as long as you need. The quarters are going to be a bit tight with Victor & Seph here, but I'm sure that we'll manage. Here you go, kiddo. Eat up.
Several hours later:
Victor (to Persephone): Good heavens, Seph! How many more times are we going to go over this? Heh. Are you EVER going to drop this?
Persephone (to Victor): Well, why'd did you have to say that to Garrett? I mean, it was our first coffee date.
Victor (to Persephone): I'm sorry! How many times do I have to say I'm sorry! I didn't know he was the Coffee Date Boy! I thought he was... Um... Who the hell is that on our couch?
Persephone (to Victor): I have no idea.
Victor (to Poppy): Um, Mom? Mom! There's some random guy on our couch!
Poppy (to Victor): Honey, it's okay. Calm down. He's, well, he's family. Sort of.
Nathaniel (to Victor): Hey. Benny Hill. Can you turn the volume down by at least half? Some of us didn't get any sleep last night.
Persephone (to Victor & Nathaniel): What's a Benny Hill?
Victor (to Persephone): I have no bloody idea. (to Poppy) Uh... OK. What's going on?
Nathaniel (to Victor & Persephone): Benny Hill is a... Never mind. You two must be Persephone and Victor.
Poppy (to Victor): Nathaniel is your cousin from your dad's biological brother. He's having a rough time of it & came looking for help. Honey, you can have your bed back. We've set up a bed in the study for Persephone. Nate's going to crash on the couch.
Persephone (to Nathaniel): Yes... You're another cousin? Wow. Is there a closet somewhere where estranged relatives are hiding?
Victor (to Poppy): Oh. Well that explains it. (to Persephone) Heh. Knowing this family? Probably.
Nathaniel (to Persephone): There are a whole gaggle of Joneses out there. Though, we seem to have a hard time staying in the closet.
Persephone (to Nathaniel): Ooh, I've been known to find boys in closets myself. Of course, I think you mean something completely different.
Victor (to Nathaniel): I'm sorry I woke you up. You caught me a bit off guard. (to Persephone) You only find boys in closets that you put there in the first place.
Nathaniel (to Victor): It's fine. And here I thought your dad and I were the only two outcasts in the fam.
Victor (to Nathaniel): I don't know anyone from Dad's side of the family. It's kind of hard to be cast out of a family that doesn't know you exist.
Nathaniel (to Victor): No, no. I mean... You are gay, aren't you?
Victor (to Nathaniel): Um, no. Why would you think that?
Nathaniel (to Victor): Sorry. But, between the suit and the fake accent and everything...
Persephone (to Victor & Nathaniel): Victor & I grew up in London, you prat. He's not gay. He's had sex with a girl & everything... Oops.
Victor (to Persephone): Christ almighty, Seph!
Persephone (to Victor): Sorry. Me & my big mouth.
Poppy (to Persephone, Victor & Nathaniel): Well, that answers that question. Alright, that's enough! Everyone to their corners, right now or I swear I will slap you all (to Victor) It's okay, honey. I already figured as much.
Victor (to Poppy): Oh god...
Poppy (to Persephone, Victor & Nathaniel): I am going to get myself some aspirin. You all have given me a headache. Please try to be nice.
Nathaniel (to Victor, Persephone & Poppy): OK. OK. I'm sorry! It's been a long day. (to Victor) I'm sorry, Victor. I didn't mean any offense by it.
Victor (to Nathaniel): I didn't take any offense to it. Why would I care if you think I'm gay? I'm going to get something to drink. (to Persephone) Want anything, Seph?
Persephone (to Victor): I'll have whatever you're having. (to Poppy) I'm sorry, Aunt Poppy. We'll try better to behave.
Poppy (to Persephone): Yes, please try honey and if you decide to kill each other, just do it quietly. I really can't be havin' with this nonsense.
Persephone: Yikes! It's so not good when Auntie goes all East Garden. (to Poppy) Yes, ma'am.
Victor (to Persephone): Here you go, Seph. I made tea. (to Nathaniel) I made you a cuppa as well, if you want one.
Nathaniel (to Victor): How very British of you.
Persephone (to Victor): Thank you, Victor. (to Nathaniel) So, what's your story? Why are you here, really?
Nathaniel (to Victor & Persephone): My dad found out I had a boyfriend and was gonna send me to one of the family camps for reprogramming. I didn't want to go.
Victor (to Nathaniel): What family camps? What are you talking about?
Nathaniel (to Victor): Grandpa's pray out the gay camps. Most of them have been discredited and disbanded over the years but there's a few of them hanging on for dear life in super enlightened areas like good ol' Mississippi.
Victor (to Nathaniel): Your grandfather has brainwashing camps? That sounds, uh, that sounds creepy.
Persephone (to Nathaniel): And? There's obviously more to it. You can't kid a kidder.
Nathaniel (to Victor): He's your grandfather too. (to Persephone) What? Being brainwashed by your family isn't enough?
Persephone (to Nathaniel): No. You're hiding something. You wouldn't have come all this way to find long lost family just for that. You had to have known it would come to that, eventually. Look, you can trust us, honest. We may be strangers but we are family. It's fine if you don't tell us, but Aunt Poppy is very good at finding out lies & secrets. It's uncanny.
Nathaniel (to Victor & Persephone): God almighty! You two are suspicious bastards, you know that? Honestly, I just need someplace to stay for a little bit. I'll be out of your hair soon enough.
Persephone (to Nathaniel): It's a Longfellow family trait, we come by it honest.
Nathaniel (to Persephone): Longfellow? So you're related to Mrs. Tiny Terror in the other room, rather than to the Jones tribe, huh?
Persephone (to Nathaniel): Yes, she's my Da's sister.
Nathaniel (to Persephone): I should have known a single family couldn't possibly contain this much fabulousness. (to Victor) Are you gonna say anything, Vic, or are you just gonna sit and stare?
Victor (to Nathaniel): Nope. I'm just going to let you talk.
Persephone (to Nathaniel): Hmmm, fabulous you say. I think you're trying a little too hard. So, do you really like boys or did you do it to upset daddy? And, where are you planning on going after this if we're just a stop on the piss off daddy train?
Nathaniel (to Persephone): I... I don't have to explain myself to you! You don't wanna believe I'm gay? FINE! I don't give a shit about your opinion. As soon as I have enough money, I am out of here. This town is too small for my tastes anyway! Whatever. Believe whatever damn fool thing you wanna believe about me. It doesn't matter.
Victor (to Persephone & Nathaniel): Shhhhh! Shhhh. Quiet! I don't know about you two, but I don't want my irate mother back out here.
Persephone (to Victor): Sorry. (to Nathaniel) Yes, it does or you wouldn't be here. I'm sorry I upset you.
Nathaniel (to Persephone): It's... It's fine. I'm just tired. I was on a bus for almost 24 hours yesterday.
Persephone (to Nathaniel): A bus? Oh right, a bus.
Nathaniel (to Persephone): Yes. A bus. It's the transportation of us poor masses. I'm assuming they have those in England.
Victor (to Nathaniel): We'll let you get to sleep then. (to Persephone) Come on, Seph. Come get all your clothes out of my room.
Persephone (to Nathaniel): Oh yes, they're kind of like trolleys. I had just forgotten. I must be sleepy myself. (to Victor) Fine. I didn't bring that much with me. Should only take a minute.
Nathaniel (to Persephone): I think he wants to gossip with you about me in private.
Victor (to Persephone): Come on.
Persephone (to Nathaniel): Good night. (to Victor) I'm coming, I'm coming.
Victor (to Persephone): Wow. My dad's family seems to be made up of charmers, doesn't it?
Persephone (to Victor): Yep, it's no wonder that he left. That boy is hiding something, I can feel it.
Victor (to Persephone): Oh, he was totes lying about something. Heh. Don't worry. Either you or my mom will get it out of him.
Persephone (to Victor): It'll probably be your mom. She's much better at it & has been doing it longer. I wouldn't be surprised if she figured it out based on the color of socks he was wearing or something insane like that.
Victor (to Persephone): Oh. Oh god... I'll bet my parents are going to want to have a LONG conversation with me about Yoyo tomorrow. Shit.
Persephone (to Victor): Oh god, I'm so sorry about that. It's my fault, I could tell them that I made it up.
Victor (to Persephone): Heh. True, but you're like a terrier after a rat when someone is lying to you. And don't worry about spilling the beans. I was going to have to talk to them about it sooner or later.
Persephone (to Victor): Really? Grunt! I'd never tell my parents about that sort of thing, They'd skin-- boy, look at the time, I should go to bed. It's been a long day & I'm suddenly very tired.
Victor (to Persephone): Uh huh. You know I'm going to ask you about that later, right?
Persephone (to Victor): Hmmm? I'm sorry I must have dozed off for a minute. I really should get to bed. Good night, Victor.
Victor (to Persephone): Good night.
